Why do people fall in love? || Acharya Prashant (2013)

To personally meet or connect with Acharya Prashant: click here.

Student- Why do people fall in love?

Speaker- We talked about the child and we said that the child’s brain is like a sponge. Right?

We tried to look at the child in terms of some kind of physical properties of the brain. Let’s extend it further and see what it is all about. Do people fall in love; the love which we know or the love we fall in? Do people fall in love at the age of six, seven or eight? They usually don’t.

What you call as falling in love is something that happens in a particular age. Right?

Have you ever wondered why people fall in love only in a particular age?

Student- Yes sir

Speaker- Its nothing but the body again. Just as in the case of the child; it was the matter of the physical structure of the brain which is not yet developed. Similar is the case of the young people who fall in love, it is also something related to the body; which is these chemicals called hormones.They get secreted in a particular age and the effect of those hormones is what you call as love. It is actually as simple, as direct, as primitive and as dead as hormones. Our love is these hormones.

If these hormones are taken away from our body, most of these love cases will disappear, totally disappear. And if there is an excess of same hormones in body then you will become extremely loving.

The bull that you see running after cow on the road is a very loving creature; he loves the cow very much. In our parlance, love is nothing but the action of the hormones, the arousal of the body because of the effect of hormones. That is what happens to the bull, to the dog and bitch on the road.

(Everyone laughs)

Love is nothing but molecules, nothing but chemicals. If a magnet attracts some iron pieces, does the iron piece have the right to say that I have fallen in love with the magnet? No, the iron piece is not as stupid as human beings. It will not claim that love has happened. It will just know that this is something chemical, something mechanical, a physical property of my body. So the iron gets attracted to the magnet, but when the same thing happens to you, you start throwing all kinds of tantrums and you claim to entire world that ‘I have fallen in love’. One injection of hormone and the love will disappear. A simple surgery and you will become incapable of love for all your life.

(Everyone claps)

This is the truth of your love, this is what the world calls as love which is nothing but, sexual arousal coming from chemicals. Do you know; even the law takes the marriage consummated only after sex has taken place. Sex is the truth of your love and your marriage. If there is no sex in the marriage, even the law accepts that this is not a marriage at all. So sex is the foundation of marriage and law knows that. In fact, if you don’t have sex, it is an appropriate ground for divorce. Your wife can claim divorce if you don’t have sex for a few months and the law will accept it.

It hurts a little, especially to those who claim to be in love. It will hurt to know that is it what our great love is all about. Is it the great reality of our divine transcendental love, a few chemicals? Love is just effect of the chemicals, nothing more than that. Those chemicals have effect upon human beings, upon animals, upon everybody. That is our love.

Now the question arises; Is there another love?

Yes, there is another love. Love that is not body driven, not chemical driven, not possessive and jealous, not person specific, not dependent, not just a prelude to marriage but that love is totally unknown to you. You do not know that love, all you see within yourself and all around is this kind of love; through which kids are born. So what is love?

That which hates kids, which is a completely bodily thing, a completely physical thing, a completely chemical thing. So when you see these two people going hand in hand walking, just know that two chemicals are walking together.

(Everyone claps)

The first one has incompleteness in the valence so it needs an extra electron and the second one can give it, so the whole molecule can be made and that is all. You are lonely; I am lonely, so we share our loneliness and this is a covalent bond, sharing of loneliness. You give something to me and I am always chasing you to get it and that is electrovalent bond. Purely chemical.

Only when you see the falseness of this dirty thing, which you had mistakenly called as love, only when you see the falseness, only then you can come to real love. Not before that. Given what we are, real love is impossible. Given the way our minds are, real love is impossible. All we know of love is what we have learned from our society, from these movies and the rest of the world.

Real love, right now to you can be described only in terms of what it is not. So let me just drop a few hints:

First, real love is not age specific in the sense that it will not happen because of release of hormones.

Second, it is not person specific; that I love this person and rest of the world is alien to me. I am very loving at home with my wife but, I am a cruel taskmaster otherwise to the rest of the world.

Third, it is not possessive, not dependent, it does not feel a certain loneliness and hence it cannot be violent, it cannot be jealous.

Most important, it is not person specific.

Understand this: you are loving, you are love. You don’t love; you are love and that is real love. I am a loving individual but that will sound very strange to you because you have not come across this love. All you know is that chemical love. Right? But you have the time and opportunity to explore what really can be real love which makes life really worth living.

Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: Why do people fall in love? || Acharya Prashant (2013)

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