Hurt arises from dependence || Acharya Prashant (2014)

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Question: We expect from others and we get hurt. What should we do?

Speaker: Sameeksha has raised question of dependence and hurt. Why do we depend on others and consequently why do we get hurt?

Sameeksha, who depends on somebody else, you have both your legs alright, fit legs, strong muscles; would you depend on somebody’s support to walk?

Who depends on somebody else? The one who is incapable of doing for himself, deciding for himself; he is the one who depends on somebody else. The one who has a weakness, is dependent. Now, if it were a genuine weakness, then dependence could be tolerated. I actually have some problem in my legs so I have to be dependent on somebody’s support or a crutch to walk. It’s alright! But what would you say, when, in spite of having two healthy legs you still keep looking at somebody else for support, you are dependent on somebody else? The only reason could be that you have forgotten that you are healthy, you have forgotten that your legs have enough power that you can stand, walk and you can even run.

Years and years of environmental influence has made you believe that you are powerless; which is a very amusing as well as a sad thing. Amusing, because you are not actually powerless. Sad, because in spite of being powerful you think you are powerless, that is the only reason of dependence. ‘I think that I am powerless. I have been made to believe that I am small, petty, limited, and when such is my condition then I have to necessarily turn for support, look at others.’

Immediately, this dependence would vaporize if you bother to look at yourself using your own eyes. You may have been told that such is your condition, but have you ever bothered to look at the fact? Is that really your condition? You may have been told that your legs are not good enough, that you are not fit to walk, but have you tried to test your legs? Are you really handicapped?

When you have your own eyes to see, when you have your own mind to understand, why are you dependent on opinions from here and there? That is dependence. And with dependence comes hurt. Only when I am not sure of myself, then I can get hurt, otherwise I cannot get hurt. Those of you who get hurt very easily should understand this. If you are getting hurt very easily, it only means that you are confused. If there is a deep sureness, you will not mind whatever is being said. Neither will you get hurt nor will you swell up.

‘I look at my face. I have looked at my face with my own eyes. Somebody comes to me and says, ‘my goodness, you have five eyebrows’, what will I do? I will either ignore him or may be smile at it as one smiles at a bad joke’. Will you start weeping? ‘I am so hurt, I am so hurt.’ You know yourself. The final proof is your own eyes, your own vision. How can you get hurt when you are sure? When your understanding is first hand, then there is no question of feeling hurt.

But when, you are not looking directly at yourself then it is quite possible that you will feel hurt. Hurt arises out of dependence. Dependence arises out of an acquired feeling of helplessness, of inferiority.

Please be assured that none of you has any limitation of any sort. Not, in the absolute sense. In the day-to-day sense, yes we all have limitations. We have limitations of body, we have limitations of knowledge, information, skill, but in the absolute sense, in the existential sense you have no limitation at all, so there is no need to be dependent.

Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: Hurt arises from dependence || Acharya Prashant (2014)

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