Only a healthy mind can have healthy relationships || Acharya Prashant (2014)

To personally meet or connect with Acharya Prashant: click here.


Question: Sir, my parents always told me to make friends, to be social. You are saying concentrate on yourself. Sir, my question is that how to manage between our social life and also concentrate on ourselves?

Speaker: Lovely! Good. Very good. I am glad that we are uncovering a lot of things. Friends, social life, being social, relationships; that’s what we are entering now. Can a slave really be friends to anybody?

Listener 1: Yes, Sir.

Speaker: Really? What can a sick man give to others except his own sickness? There is a basket of apples, and there is one rotten apple there; sick, not healthy. What will this apple give to the other apples? Only rottenness. A man who is confused, full of violence, can he love? Will he radiate love and joy to others? He will always radiate his own confusion and violence to others.

When you say that I want to be friends with somebody, you want to be a well-wisher. How can you do good to somebody when you could not do good to yourself? The fellow could not help himself all his life, how can he help somebody else? Service is beautiful, you want to serve others, you want to love somebody, you want to be friends with somebody and you want to do good to the society. Wonderful! But how can you do good to the society, when you do not even know what is meant by doing good? You are so confused!

If I ask you, sitting over here, what is meant by doing good, you would write hundred different kinds of things. We don’t even know what is good. And even what we write today, will change tomorrow, just as your goals change, your decisions change. Then this social relationship that we are talking of will only be a diseased relationship. Don’t you see only diseased relationships all around? People dealing in fakeness. People dealing in greed and dumping each other.
Don’t you know how all these socialites behave and what is the truth of their lives? Before you can relate to anybody else, you must know yourself and be contented with yourself.

Only a free mind can love.

I am not at peace with myself, how can I be at peace with somebody else? Is that not obvious? I will always be quarreling, always. Superficially, it may appear that there is peace. Superficially, things may appear to be alright. But nothing will be alright. You are taught to be social but you have never been taught the meaning of relationship. Only two free minds can really relate to each other. Slaves don’t relate to each others. Two conditioned minds don’t relate to each other.

I am not at peace with myself

I am speaking from my conditioning; you are speaking from your conditioning. Now what kind of relationship is possible? No relationship is possible. If you go to one of these mental asylums you might find two mad men talking to each other. One is saying something and the other is standing patiently. And when the first one stops; the second one starts saying something. And now the first one is nodding as if he is listing carefully. But when you go close, you will find that what the two of them are saying is not at all related to each other. The first one is talking about Electro-chemistry and the second one is talking about the political situation in Nigeria.

(Everyone laughs)

And both of them are communicating. They both are talking in very socially acceptable ways. They know the etiquette. So it seems that everything is alright. But it appears alright only from a distance. You go close and you find that there is no real relationship. Even the husbands and wives have no real relationships.

(Silence)

That is the truth of our relationships. Because our minds are conditioned, so we cannot relate to anybody. We cannot relate to anybody! How can we be friends? The world is your family. Be a lover to everybody. But how can you do that? How can you ever know what is it to be a friend with somebody? Look at what you do to your friends. Your friend wants to sit in silence. And you say, ‘Silent! What’s wrong with you? Come, let us go to the bar. You appear depressed.’ Now the fellow is silent and you are telling him that you appear depressed.

And there was another kind of friendship too. The one between Krishna and Arjun. He too was a friend. Do you have friends like these? You cannot have friends like these. Look at your relationship with your friend. Only he can be your friend who tells you that you are alright. Do your friends tell you that you are good, wonderful as you are? Or are your friends telling you that you must achieve something? If they say you all this then they are not your friends.

Do you even know the meaning of ‘friendship’? All that we know is, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed.’ So whatever my needs are, my friend should supply me.

(Everyone laughs)

Speaker: That is a Friend. The one who take care of my needs. That is the only friendship that you know. And you say, ‘I have been told to be friendly.’ Start with yourself. Self before service. Self before loving. Self before being friends. That is what comes first, ‘Self’.


Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: Only a healthy mind can have healthy relationships || Acharya Prashant (2014)

To personally meet or connect with Acharya Prashant: click here.

Or, call the Foundation at 9650585100, or write to requests@advait.org.in


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3 comments

    1. There are various opportunities to connect to and meet Acharya Prashant. These are:

      1. Meet the Master:

      Meet the Master program is rare opportunity to meet Acharya Prashant personally, either physically or online. To meet the Master, send your application, write to requests@prashantadvait.com or contact: Ms. Anoushka Jain: +91-9818585917.

      2. Advait Learning Camps:

      Advait Learning Camps are monthly retreats organized under Acharya Prashant’s guidance. These camps are about spending four days and three nights in the lap of nature, while reading, reflecting, learning and evolving. So far, scores of ALCs have been organised in places like Rishikesh, Mukteshwar, Jim Corbett National Park, Chopta, KainchiDham, etc.
      Additionally, we organize dedicated bonding camps for kids and parents. To participate in the camp, write an e-mail to requests@prashantadvait.com, or call: Sh. Anshu Sharma at +91-8376055661.

      3. Course in Realization:

      Course in Realization, a classroom-based learning program led by Acharya Prashant, is an initiative towards disseminating clarity and intelligence in the world. In this course, a rigorous study of a scripture or a saint is undertaken each month.
      To join in, send your application, write to requests@prashantadvait.com or contact: Sh. Apaar: +91-9818591240

      4. Month of Awakening:

      For those who cannot attend sessions physically, the foundation does online streaming of few selected sessions via Skype or Webinar. Known as Month of Awakening, this facility offers live streaming of sessions and helps seekers listen to Acharya-Ji while being where they are.
      To receive the blessing, send your application to requests@prashantadvait.com or contact: Ms. Anoushka Jain: +91-9818585917

      5. Blessings from Beyond:

      Weekends with Acharya Prashant brings you the unique opportunity for a 2 day 2 night stay with the Master every month at Advait Ashram, Greater Noida. The getaway involves two mystical days of dynamic activities, explorations of the self, sports, meditative reading, deep reflections, midnight walks and more.
      To get a taste of the beyond, register yourself at requests@prashantadvait.com or contact Ms. Anu Batra:+91-9555554772

      6. Triyog:

      Daily morning 2 hour Yog feast for your total well-being. Comprising of
      Hatha Yog, Bhakti Yog and Gyan Yog.

      Send your application, write to: requests@prashantadvait.com Or to register: Contact: Shri Kundan Singh: +91-9999102998
      Venue: Advait Bodhsthal, Greater Noida, India.

      This reply comes to you from volunteers of PrashantAdvait Foundation who maintain this channel.

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