Question: Is happiness related to self-sufficiency?
Speaker: Yes, obviously. Real happiness is self-sufficient. Real happiness does not depend upon an object or an event.
But look at our happiness. Look at the kind of happiness we have. We say that we are happy because of something. Real happiness has no ‘because’. We say that our happiness is dependent on the presence of such and such person, or the happening of such and such event. Correct? We say that we will be happy when we get that result. So our happiness is a dependent happiness. Right? Dependent on what? That result. When that result comes, then we will be happy. Otherwise we cannot be happy. And till the time that result does not come, how will we be? Sad. Because if happiness is there in the result, then till the time the result is not there, we cannot be happy. Our happiness is a very, very dependent happiness. It is not self-sufficient.
Real happiness, on the other hand, does not depend. It is totally internal to you. It is your own, intrinsic. Nobody can take it away, nobody can give it to you. But then look at the kind of happiness we have. We say that he gives me happiness, or a particular activity gives me happiness, say playing gives me happiness. This happiness is necessarily dependent on something else, and this happiness cannot be there till you are not sad. You have to be sad to be happy.
If your happiness is dependent on something, you have to be sad to be happy. Say, the result is about to be declared. You are greatly afraid that you may fail in a particular subject. And you are nervous and shivering. Now the result is declared, and you find that you have passed. So you are very happy. The intensity of your happiness is directly proportional to the intensity of your fear. The more afraid you are, the happier you will be. So to be happy you first have to be sad. When your happiness is dependent upon the result, then to be happy you first have to be sad.
What kind of happiness is this? -1 + 1 = 0. First be sad, then be happy. What stupidity! You are sitting over here and your shoe is hurting. Your shoe is hurting and you are greatly stressed out. And then you go downstairs after this session and take-off your shoes, and you feel a great relief. A great relief! You feel that relief because you were feeling hurt for two hours. Had you not felt hurt, could you have felt the relief? Had you nor felt hurt for these two hours, could you have felt that relief? That is the type of happiness we have. Because we live in sadness all the time, when that sadness is reduced, we call it happiness. And if that sadness goes away, our happiness will also go away. This is what dependent happiness is.
On the other hand, there is something called self-sufficient happiness, the name for that is Joy. It does not depend upon something. ‘When I will be rich, I will be happy. When I get a girlfriend, then I will be happy. If my marks are this much, then I will be happy.’ No, it does not depend on anything. It is there. It is your intrinsic nature. And that joy is nothing but watchfulness, a silent awareness. It is a very subtle thing. For you happiness is an excitement. Right? For you happiness is about laughter and fun and your face much looks in a particular way. No, joy is not that.
Joy is something very subtle. Joy is always there. Even if you are sitting here, there can be joy inside. If you are attentive, you will be joyful. Joy is not about dancing around and hopping. You can walk joyfully, you can sit joyfully. You can listen joyfully. You can pray joyfully. You can even be sad joyfully. If sadness is coming and you can see that it is coming, that seeing is joy; that intelligence is the joy of existence.
Are you getting it? Please do not make your happiness dependent upon other things. Please do not do that. Whenever it comes to the mind that I will be happy when that happens, reject that statement. It is false.
-Excerpts from a Samvaad session. Edited for clarity.
View the session at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O24FaSG1Mg