Love is an opportunity to know yourself

Speaker: Do you understand the difference between creating and building? Mind builds, intelligence creates.

All love starts as nearness, all love starts as an urge for nearness. It will always start in the mental domain, always. It could be sexual; it could be any other desire.

Intelligence - Mind

Listener: Emotional.

Speaker: Anything. It could be a social need and emotional need, whatever. Always mental. Always, always mental. But the good part is, whatever be the origin it creates nearness, it creates an opportunity to know. But just an opportunity. After that nearness, after that opportunity whether it blossoms into creativity, whether it enters the zone of creativity, is another matter.

Rarely does it exceed the initial attraction and flower into creativity that rarely happens. So man and woman comes close to each other, mother and child are close to each other and the reasons are of course biological in both the cases, mother and child, man and woman. And that nearness is a great opportunity for observation but it never happens that way, rarely happens that way.

You remember Ishq-e-Majazi (metaphorical love) and Ishq-e-Haqiqi (love of God)? It would always start as Ishq-e-Majazi but its destiny is to dissolve into Ishq-e-Haqiqi. That never happens unfortunately.

It may begin as attraction of the body but it should transcend that. Transcending does not mean that now I do not look at your body. Obviously the eyes will only look at the body, the hands will only touch the body but something else has also happened and that is the real thing. Some other event has taken place, that event does not take place.

Let that happen.

There are people in your life; there are objects in your life that you think you are in a loving relationship with. See whether your love is still that emotional, loose thing, identification, security and all that or whether it has helped you and the other reach somewhere else.

What is your effect upon the other’s life and what is the other’s effect upon your life?

– Excerpts from a Samvaad session. Edited for clarity.

Read more articles on this topic:

Article 1                            Article 2                           Article 3

Watch the session at:


  1. Even the relationships are not seen as they are. It is definitely an opportunity to know oneself but only possible in deep attentiveness


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