Free from lovers, You become free to love || Acharya Prashant (2015)

“I am your lover, come to my side, I will open the gate to your love.”

~ Rumi


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Speaker: So yesterday night we were talking about the beginning of love. How does love begin? Who is this ‘I’? Who is this lover? What is Rumi saying?

“I am your lover, come to my side, I will open the gate to your love.”

Love is your very being. The moment, the day, the place, the point you come into being, love too comes into being. You cannot be without loving. It’s just that you do not know your lover. You do not know for whom your heart beats. You know somebody calls. In fact you do not know that ‘somebody’ calls. ‘Somebody’ is just your language. All you know is that there is ‘a call’. And you do not know what that call is all about. And you are experiencing that call since ever. It pulls you. All your movement is dictated by that call. The smallest step that you take in the course of the day is nothing but a response to that call. Each and every action, every single breath, every single thought, every single step that you take is because you are being called. There is nothing else that energizes you. There is nothing else that motivates you. There is the call, that ancient primordial call that has been there since the time you have been there. The call that comes into being the moment you come into being.

The call is there and you are there and it has a strange, miraculous charm and pull. It’s a music that you do not understand; still its enigma has a mystery that connects to your heart. You are powerless in front of it. You are helpless and you are pulled. But you do not know what is pulling you. So then you enter a strange situation that there is ‘something’ that you want and everything that you doing, is just to get that ‘something’; but you do not know what that ‘something’ is.

Your situation is like that of a woman, who is being called by the flute of her lover and the lover is distant, very-very distant.  But the call is close, very-very close; present all the time. The music is calling and she is going in the direction of the music. And in between she meets a shopkeeper on the way and she thinks that this shopkeeper might be the one playing the flute. So she starts living with the shopkeeper. Now obviously the shopkeeper was not playing the flute, the call is coming from somewhere else. The result is disappointment. And so after sometime she again sets off towards the lover who is calling. And this time great scenes and pictures and landscapes await her. She thinks that maybe the call is arising from here. She does not know who is calling, so she can only guess and attribute. “Maybe he is calling, maybe he is calling. He might be my lover, may be my restlessness will be quenched by being there.” And in this way, the woman is roaming here and there and it’s an infinite land. And there are infinite objects to whom the call can be mistakenly attributed and then life is nothing but a series of mistakes and subsequent disappointments.

You make a mistake by going to someone thinking that this fellow might be the lover who calls. All you get is sorrow. You go to the next one thinking that this might be the one who calls. All you get is even deeper sorrow. That’s the story of love. Love is your being, love is your breath, love is your energy. Wherever you are going, in whichever direction, towards whichever person; its love that you want, its love that pushes you, its love that calls you.

Now what is Rumi saying? Rumi is saying, “I am your lover, come to my side, I will open the gate to your love.”

(Animated) Strange words? He is saying, come to me first and then I will open the gates for you. Now what kind of statement is this? If I had already come to you, then what is the need for opening any gates anymore? But Rumi is saying that.

He is saying, “I am your lover, come to my side, I will open the gate to your love.” Understand this.

The ‘One’, who calls is not a body, is not a person, is not an entity. That’s it; full stop. When you know this clearly and remember this constantly, then you can never, never attribute love to a body or a person or an entity. Then you can never delude yourself into thinking that an object, a name, a person, a body is what you want. When the mind is free of wrong notions about love, then the lover who sits right in your Heart shows you the way to love.

Go again to what Rumi is saying. He is saying, “come to my side, I will open the gate to your love.” “Come to my side, what does it means to come to my side. It means do not go to somebody else’s side. You are always, always beside somebody. You always have a lover and that is the reason why you never find ‘love’. It’s strange, right? Most people complain of loveless lives. And this is why they have loveless lives; because they have lovers. Till the time you have a lover, you will never, never find love. When you stop having a lover, when you see the foolishness of hankering after lovers; then the gate to love opens, then the real lover sitting at your center opens the gate to love. Now, love is independent of lovers. Once that gate is opened, now love is something within you. Now, you will not be like the woman running hither-thither searching for lovers.  Now, love is your own being, it’s a state, quality of your own mind. Now, you can say that you are the lover you had been looking for so far.

Rest assured till the time you are looking for a lover, you will never find love. A lover you may find. But lovers are worthless. Those who have had lovers and many lovers, know that. But their foolishness is that having had lovers they become habituated to having more lovers. It becomes an obsession with them; a dirty habit that “I must have a body by my side.” Get rid of the promise of lovers and you will get love.


Rumi is saying, “I will open the gate to your love.” “I will open the gate to your love.” You will not be then able to say that you love ‘X’ or ‘Y’. But then you will be able to authentically say, “I love”. “Not ‘X’, not ‘Y’; well not ‘Z’ either, but I love.” “I love.”

You know hearing the words of truth can have only two effects upon you: either you will feel deeply, deeply light and blissful or you will be scared. It depends on who you are.

Listeners: There is this line that “Work is love made visible.” What does that mean?

Speaker: We talked about it. Didn’t we say that, your every step is nothing but the call of love. But the question is, are you able to understand that call. “Work is love made visible.” Yes of course, but that does not mean that your work will bring you closer to love. It is strange that one works because of the call of love; otherwise there is no reason to work. And work does not mean paid work. Every single work, even this act of asking a question is work; breathing is work. So, one works only because love calls. But if the mind is not attentive and faithful then the work can take you further away from the call. Like you are standing and somebody is calling from far, far away and if you do not listen attentively to the call, it is possible that he is calling from the east and you start running towards the west. But still, even if you are running wrongly, your running is because of ‘the call’. So, work is love made visible. Your running is the call made visible.

You know, we are ‘smart people’. What happens is, not that we do not know from where the call is coming? You see, it’s like this. Let’s say I am calling you but you are quite ‘smart’. I am calling you and in between there is a hurdle. I am sitting straight in front of you and I am calling you and there is a hurdle in between. So you say that “I will take a fifteen degree detour. What will I do? I will not take a straight road. I will turn by fifteen degrees to avoid the hurdle in between”. That’s what you say? So, you turn by fifteen degrees. Now, when you turn by fifteen degree you find that there is…?

Listeners (in unison): Another hurdle.

Speaker: Now you are so smart, you don’t want to face the hurdle, you don’t want to take the bull by the horns. You want to devise clever methods of avoiding the trouble and yet getting what you want. So you take another fifteen degree turn and then you find there another obstacle. So what do you do? You take another turn. All the while you were thinking that after taking all these turns, you will turn back towards the one who’s calling. Like you have diversions in the roads that have been built, so you keep taking those diversions. And fifteen degree diversion, taken fifteen times and where you end up reaching? It’s a ‘U’ turn!

But you are so smart; you are still thinking that you are going towards that call. It’s your smartness that defeats you. When love calls, move straight. Do not try to act smart and if you meet a hurdle in between, fight it, jump over it, cross it but do not change your track even by fifteen degrees. Do not apply methods and cleverness.

Listener: Sir, it is always fear that doesn’t let us face the hurdle or grab the bull by its horns and always a greed too because you want to enjoy something at that moment and not really attend to that hurdle. Is this a promise that in the future I will get over this habit or this too is an illusion and the mind will always remain in fear and greed?

Speaker: When the obstacle comes, then obviously you take a diversion because you feel incapable of overcoming that hurdle, right? So let me give you a small mantra. Why did you come to that obstacle? Because ‘somebody’ called. Well, it’s obviously not ‘somebody’ but just for the sake of language, let’s call it somebody. So you came to the obstacle because somebody called. Now, let the caller take care of the obstacle. Why do you think that you have to surmount the barrier? Why do you think that your energy and effort will be needed to defeat the obstacle?

When you come to it then say, you called so now I am facing this problem. Tell the lover, you called so now I have come to this obstruction. And I am facing this threat. You called, you take care of it. And then test whether or not the problem is taken care of. Test!

But you do not do that you say, “I will overcome this problem using my energy, my cleverness and my methods.” You do not call Him. You apply your ‘own’ power. And your power is exhausted. Your power is so little. He creates this obstruction, because he likes to hear from you.  You will not call him, if that problem is not there. So he puts that problem so that you may call him but you are cleverer than he is. He thinks that by doing this, he will be able to get your attention. But still you do not pay any attention.

Try, test him out. It’s a fundamental rule. When you come to a problem because the Truth called you, if your problem has been given to you by Truth, then only the Truth can solve the problem. It’s a very fundamental rule. Not your cleverness!

Excerpts from Samvaad session. Edited for clarity.

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