Question: Sir, how to get rid of dependencies in life?
Speaker: Does dependence come to us and say, “Please be dependent on me”? Does the crutch beg and say, “Please be dependent on me”? Does the veil come and say, “Please cover your face with me”? Who goes to some object to become dependent? Who is it that goes?
I go there, right? So first of all realize that I am the one who seeks to be dependent. Why do I go to that crutch? I have fine, nice, muscular legs. Why do I go to that crutch? Because I believe that I need it. Obviously if I believe that I need support, that I need to be dependent, then I will go to an object.
So this need is there in the mind, right? This need must be tested. Time has come when you have to ask yourself, “Do I really need that support?” Yes you needed somebody’s hand to walk, but it does not look quite nice now. All the time you are seeking somebody’s hand to walk even two steps. It does not look nice now. But mentally the need is there, because the mind lives in the past, the mind lives in memories. Mind still has a stale self-image.
Test your legs. How will you test your legs when you are not prepared to try and experiment? So, as a young woman you must be open to going out, experiencing, seeing what the world is all about. You have risen from this earth. Would you not like to see what your home is like? This earth is your home. Would you not like to explore it? The rivers, the mountains, the people. The time has come to test your legs. When you test your legs and you find that they are alright and it is great to walk, run, and jump, then you forget the crutches.
It is not possible to keep believing that you are needy and yet not be a beggar. Not possible! You have to remove this belief from your mind that you are needy. And you cannot remove this belief just through willpower, by just telling yourself that you are not needy. You will actually have to test it.
You will need facts and proofs to tell you that you are not needy, that you are capable, you are mature, and that you are adult. Find those facts and proofs!
Stop believing that you are needy. Go out and test yourself!
-Excerpts from a Samvaad session. Edited for clarity.
Watch the session at: Prashant Tripathi: How to get rid of dependencies in life?
Read more articles on this topic:
Article 1: To live fearlessly, remove your dependencies
Article 2: Hurt arises from dependence