In asking for a kiss, you break away from the kiss || Acharya Prashant (2016)


A pair

Of mismatched newlyweds,

One of whom still feels very insecure,

I keep turning to God


“Kiss Me.”

~ Hafiz

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Shri Prashant: What would happen if you are already in a lip lock and you are saying “Kiss me”? What would happen if your lips are already sealed against the lips of Beloved and you feel the need to use words? You want to confirm. You want to be sure. You want to give your formal consent. It is so important for you to ensure that you are being kissed because you said that you wanted to be kissed. And you are in a lip lock, what would you do? You will break away from the lover and say, “Kiss me”.

In saying kiss me, you have aborted the kiss. In saying kiss me, you have terminated the kiss. That is the thing about anything real. The moment you ask it you lose it. The moment you demand it, call for it, ask for it, you have lost it.  Whatever is real is never a matter of asking, demanding, pleading, praying; if it is real, rest assured it is already available. Not only available, very much present. Not only present, so intimate, as is your heartbeat to you. It is already so very there; present in each cell of your body as your genome; running in each vein as your blood.

Now, what do you mean by calling for it, asking for it, saying, pleading, expressing, consenting – “Kiss me”?

What else was happening till now, foolish one?

Now the moment is gone. Now the mood is spoiled. You tore away your lips from mine. We were one. But you are in such fondness of your personality, your individuality, your particular individual consent that you want to choose that you are being kissed. You want to take the credit that you received the kiss because you demanded it. You want to be the owner and the author of the kiss. You want to say, “You know, I got it because I asked for it. So I am responsible for what I got. I acclaim over it.”

Whatever is Real, that does not come to you because you asked for it. If something is coming to you because you are asking for it then avoid that which is coming to you. Whatever will come to you because of your demand, your desire, will only bring desperation to you. Whatever comes to you just simply, naturally, without even asking, only that is that which nourishes you, which gives you life, which you really-really deserve. Live in that; appreciate that; be grateful for that.

Why is the newly wed uncomfortable?

Why are newly weds uncomfortable with each other?

“Oh! How do I expose myself?”

“Oh! I do not know the other one.”

“Oh! this is my first night.”

“Will he accept me?”

“Will she be alright with me?”

“Am I good enough?”

“Will I need to go naked?”

“Will I need to put off my covers, sheets, garments, armors?”

“Will I need to expose myself and make myself vulnerable?”

“Will I have to do away with all the makeup?”

That’s what makes the newlyweds go uncomfortable. We do not want to go naked, right? We want to retain our masks. We have decorated them so much that we think they are beautiful. They are ugly as hell! Only your pure nakedness is beautiful. But you do not know that because you have never seen yourself naked.

In matters of kissing, neither ask nor acquiesce. If you have to take somebody’s permission to kiss her, then the kiss is not worth it. And if you have to give somebody permission to kiss you, then both you, the kisser and also the permission, are all worthless.

It happens. The clouds open their heart and the rain drops fall on your lips. Do they seek your permission? Have you ever felt a mischievous rain drop suddenly falling upon your lips? Have you or have you not? Or a childish snowflake just coming and settling upon your nose, like this (puts his fingers softly on his nose)? Has it happened to you? Does it first pause and ask, ”Knock-knock, Am I allowed?” By the time you say, “Yes”, it would melt.

Anybody who is friends with a dog? Anybody here who knows a dog? When you meet your dog after a long while, does he seek your permission to climb all over you? Dogs know the etiquette of love far better than humans do. He comes and suddenly he is all over, huffing, puffing, sniffing; and you may even keep shooing him away, “Go, Go! Go!” He won’t go. And his tail is wagging at the frequency of a ceiling fan – 60 rpm! And he just comes and embraces. He doesn’t politely ask, “May I?”, “Can you please pass your hands?” He wants it, he takes it. Dogs know God much more than man does.

Did God seek your permission before giving you birth?

Did he say, “May I?”

Does your heartbeat seek your permission? Will death take your permission?

Will death take your permission?

Does the river take your permission to flow like this?

If you are connected, if you are really related, then you know that the time is right, then you know that words are so unnecessary; then you let the breath talk, then you let the eyes talk. Words are so vulgar. Are they not?

“Kiss me!”

You deserve a slap in return, not a kiss. Anybody who makes a request or an approval of this kind, “Yes, kiss me.”, deserves a slap rather than a kiss.

Hafiz is saying, “Let it happen. It is happening. Let it happen.” Your only role is to not to block it. And hence, your only role is to not to have a role.

Lips are meeting lips!

Now, what are you doing there? Ogling? It is called voyeurism. Why are you present there?

Let the body meet the body.

Let the lips melt against the lips.

What is the talker doing there? Asking, “Who am I?”


SP: (smiling) Don’t ask this or that. Just disappear. Go away. Have that decency. God is the elixir of nakedness. And he loves only the naked you. You go to Him with clothes, you will return with clothes. One cannot make love to a well dressed up woman or man. It’s no fun kissing lip gloss.

You are 


God’s bride.

Go only to Him.





Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: On Hafiz: In asking for a kiss, you break away from the kiss

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Further Reading:

Advait in Everyday Life

final-book-cover_advait-in-everyday-life-4-copyAdvait has since long been revered as the crown jewel of all spiritual philosophies. However, there are very few books, if any at all, that practically demonstrate the presence, applications, methods and benefits of living as per the golden teaching of Advait-Vedanta.

This book is a much needed and rare attempt to bring spirituality and philosophical teachings to everyday life. The author’s genius lies in being delightfully able to bridge the abstract world of theorizations and principles with day-to-day circumstances, happenings, emotions and relationships.




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