Question: Sir, what should be the right role of parents in the life of a child?
Acharya Prashant: The role of the father and mother is to give birth. Really to give birth not just physically. Physically it is very easy—hormonal, chemical, simply biology, really to give birth.
Listener 1: In which many fails.
AP: Hardly anybody succeeds.
To be a father or mother is not something physical, it is not about having sex, getting impregnated, bearing a baby and nursing it. It is about not only giving a body but also taking the kid to That which is beyond the body. That’s the role of parents—to not only give the body but also then unburden the child of the body.
L1: Sir, what happens to the child when parents operate through their conditioned patterns?
AP: We see this world around us, that’s what happen. When those kids become adults they turn violent, loveless, and insecure. You look at the trees that have been hacked down, it’s the work of somebody who was once a child; you look at the shops down the road; you look at the quantity of liquor flowing at the crossing; you look at the animals been butchered. All the shops selling lamb, mutton, chicken and the rest of it. What do you think those butchers were born adults? They too are once kids and if you were a kid who does not have really illuminated parents then it is very bad for you.
What do you think those butchers were born adults?
They too are once kids and if you were a kid who does not have really illuminated parents then it is very bad for you.
L1: So is it bad karma?
AP: Just bad!
L2: But there are many instances where in spite of spending a very bad childhood like living in a foster home etc. and still they excel in the life like anything.
AP: That is called Grace; that can happen.
That can happen but would you rather abdicate your own loving responsibility and say that Grace will take care of everything and you will militate against Grace. Grace is always ready to shower upon the kids but what if parents block the Grace?
L1: What is the solution?
AP: Don’t block.
L1: How can we see that? We too are unaware.
AP: By not being what you are. Your relationship with the kid cannot change till you continue to be what you are.
L2: I presume she is asking about her parents.
AP: Oh! that way, from the perspective of the kid, not the parent.
Is the kid still a kid? Where is the kid? I thought I was talking to a parent where is the kid?
L1: I am the kid.
AP: There is no kid, you are an adult, so leave the kid behind, that’s all. Once you leave the kid behind, you also leave all that behind which the kid went through—all the conditioning, all the rubbish.
Only kids can ask about kids; it’s pertinent and relevant, the others cannot because there is nobody else here who is a kid. Yet, we carry the kid within us. You know all of the child ego state and the rest of that, why must you still carry that state within you?
The kid should have been left behind. Yes, the kid was conditioned and it happens to everybody, with some it happens little more severely but really it happens with everybody.
Now leave the kid behind you are no more kid!
If you repeat that which had been happening to you, then it would be repeated with the kid as well. So, break free, you are no more a kid.
Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.
Watch the session video: Acharya Prashant: The right role of parents in the life of the child
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