Just grows

Whatever you think you are, is one identity that you are carrying. And that identity can have no possibility of any Love. So, forget it that there can be any ‘self- love’! No self-love is possible. ‘Self -love’ is an oxymoron.

The Great man is not a Great man. That Great man has to be Great, every passing moment inattention.

The Great man, retains his understanding of himself, as somebody who is different from his concepts. He does not get identified with his thoughts.

A cancerous cell is very very ambitious! It multiplies like hell. That’s ambition. A normal healthy cell, does not grow out of ambition. It just grows. Just grows.

Growth is your very nature. It happens spontaneously out of understanding. It does not require ambition. You don’t need to be ambitious in order to grow.

There is no target, no ambitionThis is Self-love.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: Self-love, and difference between self and the Self


 

The greatest dependence is psychological dependence

Before you talk of the future, shouldn’t you first understand what you are doing right now?

In your moments of deepest enjoyment, have you ever thought of the future? Tell me?

To look towards future, one would have to take his attention away from the present, right?

Your goals cannot be bigger than your awareness. Goals will just be within the circumference of what you know.

Life is the present moment, there is nothing else. If you are free right now, there is no need to become enslaved the next moment. Why do you want to pretend that we are slaves? You are not! You are free this moment!

And remember, financial dependence is not a great dependence. Even physical dependence may not be a great dependence. The greatest dependence is psychological dependence.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: On plans and goal-setting


 

Confidence is a disease

In fear, you feel that it might be lost. In confidence, you feel that there is no threat of it being lost.

Fear is the stage when the root has become a full-grown tree but the root of both ‘confidence’ and ‘fear’ is the same, giving importance to external attainments.

The question of confidence arises only when you are afraid. You see the linkage between ‘fear’ and ‘confidence.’ The one which is confident is surely afraid just that he is not realizing it at that point. If there is no fear, there is no need of confidence.

Confidence is the shadow of fear.

Confidence is a disease.

Don’t ask for confidence, ask for fearlessness.

The more the world will mean to you, the more afraid you will be.

Unfortunately, confidence is no treatment for fear.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: Don’t ask for confidence, ask for fearlessness


 

To help the other, you have to be a nobody.

I have often and repeatedly said that to help the other, you have to be a nobody. Now, that sounds quite theoretical and abstract. What is meant by this statement, that to help the other you have to be a nobody?

It means that you have to be a someone, a no one, who has no choices or preferences of his own, except the preference to love. Except the desire to be loving, all other desires are now gone. Or, at least all other desires are now secondary. The primary desire is just love. All other desires are subservient to it now. Which means, that I am not really bothered about what I am doing, as long as it is serving the purpose of loving. I don’t have any choices, preferences left now. I will not say that I will do this work only my way. Then how will I do this work, which way will I do this work? Now, I will do this work, your way. If I am nobody then I get all the freedom to act as per your wishes. Are you getting it?

In trying to help the other, often a big barrier is the helper himself. Because, the helper says, “I will help, but only in this particular way. This particular way which is the right way according to my ideology. I want to help you, by helping you behave as per my wishes.” Now, that’s a barrier.

To help someone, you have to be a no one which means that your own dislikes and likes relegate to the background. Now, you look at the other. Now, you look at the others conditioned mind. Obviously the other is conditioned. Obviously the other is trapped, that is why he needs help.

So, you look closely at the mind on the one you intend to help. And you say, “I have no preferences, openly on a clean slate I will see, how this person can be helped? I have no ideology. I am not approaching this person with a preset agenda. Instead, I am seeing, that if this person is conditioned, what is the contour of the conditioning? What is the whole landscape of the city that he has built inside his mind? What are the patterns of his or her conditioning? And to liberate her, I will use those patterns. Now, in using those patterns the barrier is your own patterns. Because you say that if I use those patterns, then I am doing something wrong, something immoral. Or, at least I am doing something that I don’t stand for. That does not correspond to my ideals.”

The real helper is a man without ideals. The real helper is free to help. That is what is meant by being without ideals.



Read the complete article: One is enslaved with her own consent

Do we need to drop the family?

When you say, “Family,” are you talking really of persons, or a network of relationships? It appears as if we are talking of persons because the moment somebody says, “Family,” he says, “Father, mother, sister, brother.” So, what do you name? Persons. So, we get into an illusion that the family is made up of persons, but if we go a little closer to it, a little deeper, we will find that the family is not really persons. The family is relationships. The view that you have of the person is the person. Is the person anything except the meaning he or she holds for you? And the meaning that that person holds for you is your relationship with him.

There is a girl, there is her father. Is the father the same to the world as he is to his daughter? Had it been about the person, the person would have been an objective entity, same to the entire Universe, right? So, it’s not the father, it’s the relationship between the father and the daughter that defines the father in the daughter’s eyes, and the daughter in the father’s eyes. 

So, what do you mean when you say, “Do we need to drop the family?” Obviously, you do not need to drop the persons. But, don’t you need to drop all the poison that is there in relationships? Must you drop the persons, or must you drop all the harmful aspects of the relationship? In other words, the person remaining the same, can’t the relationship change? And obviously the person has to remain the same, one is not going to fetch a substitute pair of parents. They are not readily available, are they? The persons cannot be changed, not in most cases.

Then what do we mean by family, what do we mean by improving the family environment? Obviously, it means that the relationship has to change. If you are relating in fear, in anger, or in greed, then that aspect of relating needs to be dropped. And, that can be dropped only when the need to have that aspect is first dropped from within yourself.



Read the complete article: One is enslaved with her own consent

Time will not help

Never rely upon the argument that time will heal things, that time will bring the Truth to the trapped one. Time will not bring the Truth to the trapped one, Grace may. And Grace is not dependent upon time. You cannot say that if I spend two years, then Grace befalls. So, avoid spending, even the next minute inside the trap. The more is the time that you spend inside the walls, the more difficult it will be for you to bring down the walls.

The conventional logic that one will ultimately get fed up of slavery, does not work. Nobody ever gets fed up of slavery, never. In fact, the longer you remain a slave, the deeper becomes your adjustment to slavery. Now, you are a well-adjusted and apparently satisfied slave. So, do not think that time can help. Time will not help. Time will only thicken the walls. Time will only raise another layer of dust upon the mind. Time will make your vision, even more blurred. This is not a disease that time can heal, for this is a disease that time itself has given. Kindly do not wait for tomorrow, time will not help.

If all this gives us, even the slightest indication, that we might be trapped, then do not wait. We have already waited long enough. Far longer than we should have.



Read the complete article: One is enslaved with her own consent

Happiness or Welfare?

“I know what the right thing is, but if I do this, my wife will feel bad, so I am not doing this.”
“I know that I am not in the right job, but if I leave my job, then my project will suffer, or my boss will feel bad. So I am not leaving it.”
Why don’t you see that if you are really in love, then it is not the other’s happiness that you want; it is the other’s welfare that you want? And these are two extremely different things.
Sometimes — Ah! Most of the times rather — what is really helpful to you, does it make you happy? No, it rather makes you shiver.

And if you can’t be free without passing through that pain, why do you want to insulate your loved ones from that pain, why?

Let them pass through this pain and when they will pass through this pain, if you love them, you too will pass through a pain. This pain will purify both of you.

In trying to avoid disturbance, we create hell for everybody including ourselves.


Further Reading:

The Flying Kiss to the Sky

cover_fksA Flying Kiss to The Sky, is a collection of excerpts from various discourses of Acharya Prashant, arranged in a special order which makes it the ideal first book, for all who want to come close to the facts of their own lives.

The book is divided into three parts, each part helping the reader to appreciate the working of his own mind and hence, the world in more clear and precise terms. Its unique one-page-one-chapter format makes it even more simple. It won’t be wrong to say that it is a book for all: Reader, or non-reader; Professional, or Spiritual.

Paperback: Advait Publications Page

God is in the clatter of the utensils and the wailing of the baby

When you look at the wall do you see emptiness?

No, you see something tangible, you see something important. Usually, this argument is given by those who want to retain their attachments. This is the favourite argument of the householders and so many people find it difficult to refute. You don’t need to find God somewhere. God is in your kitchen and bedroom.

God is in the clatter of the utensils and the wailing of the baby.

God is not in the temple bell. God is the whistle of the pressure cooker.

This is not at all bad but then the baby must not be a baby, then the baby has to be emptiness. Then the husband cannot be a person, the husband has to be infinite, impersonal, existential individuality.

You do not serve morning tea to infinite impersonal existential individuality.

Are you in the same dimension as the pattern?

Don’t be afraid of patterns.

Be with the Truth; you will not be afraid.

And when you are not afraid of patterns then you can toy around with them. And it won’t matter whether you fall into the pattern, whether you break the pattern; whether you play by the rules, whether you disregard them — nothing will matter.

The only thing that matters is: Are you in the same dimension as the pattern? Or are you in another dimension?

That is the only difference.

There is one mind that fights problems and never succeeds.

And there is another mind that goes past problems and goes past success and defeat.

The mind that wants to fight problems or solve problems will always find itself getting more and more problems.

It will forever be stuck in the game of success and defeat against the problem.


To read the complete article: How to break mental patterns?

Whatever takes you towards your beautiful Heart is Beautiful

Whether or not your wife is beautiful, is not determined by the way she talks and looks.

It is determined by how you feel when you are next to her.

Does she bring you to that beautiful silence, or do you get further agitated in her company?
Does her very presence calm you down?
If her presence calms you down, then she is beautiful.

I keep calling Jesus, ‘handsome’.

It is not because he was young, tall, fair, and muscular.
I keep calling him ‘handsome’ for what he is.

Kabir is beautiful, Meera is beautiful.

Meera is beautiful for her devotion.

Meera is beautiful because when you are with Meera, then some of her devotion simply rubs-off on you.

Sitting next to Meera, you get a taste of Krishna. That is why Meera is beautiful.

So, what is Ugly?
Whatever takes you away from the beauty in your Heart is Ugly.

What is Beautiful?
Whatever takes you towards your beautiful Heart is Beautiful.

Anger cannot be right in isolation

Anger cannot be right in isolation.

If everything else about you is wrong and petty, then anger too is bound to be wrong and petty.

Do not be too bothered with the problem of anger.

Do not try to look at the one fragment of mind and quarantine it.

Whatever is the quality of your life that is also the quality of your anger.

When life is genuine, then anger is also genuine.

When life is fake, then all you have is fake anger.

When life has depth, then anger too, has depth.

When life is shallow then anger is just, as we said, poking and pinching.

Love is not about creating boundaries

The relationships of a healthy mind are loving relationships.

When you do not relate to the other in order to get something from him, it is love.

Where you are feeling so full towards yourself, that you feel no violence toward the world, it is love.

Love is not about creating boundaries, my family, my people, my love, my house.

Love is like the sun full in itself so its brightness falls on everybody; its warmth is available to all.

Wherever it goes, it brings light.

That is love.