We have been taught to be dependent in a thousand ways.

Our entire upbringing and education has been such that we’ve been taught to be dependent in the thousand ways. We’ve been told, for example, that we must top the class. Now remember, to top the class, you’ve to be dependent on others. How? Because not only your performance is important, it’s also important that the others perform badly than you. So, there is dependency. “I might do very well but there’s somebody else who’s done better still. I can’t top.”

“You’re good only when the entire society and the entire group of relatives say that you’re good.” So, your being good is now dependent on the opinion of so many people. There is no absolute standard, it’s all relative. If they say you’re good, you’re good. And if the neighbor comes and says, “Mr. Sharma. Your daughter is disappointing.” Then both Mr. Sharma and the daughter are gone. Their day is spoiled. The daughter does not know herself. And even Mr.Sharma does not know, neither the daughter, nor himself. Are you getting it?

Parents tell their kids, “We will be proud of you when the entire world claps for you.” Now what is this? Do you want to ruin your child’s life? “Don’t do this. What will they say?” Is that not a statement that you’ve often heard? “Duniya kya kahegi.” Now you’re being constantly conditioned to become dependent.

Entire system of education, examinations, certifications, you’re only as good as somebody else says you are. There is always an assessing body outside of you. The result has been that even in this young age we’ve lost the capacity for self assessment. We’ve lost the faculty that can look directly at itself. You know yourself only via somebody, only through somebody.

If you’re to ask yourself “Who am I? How am I? Where do I stand?”, you’ll find that you don’t have any answer. And that’s horrifying. And if you have any answer that answer would surely be an answer given by somebody else. It would have been supplied to you by somebody else. Even supplied is a very soft word, it would actually have been implanted in your mind by somebody else.



Read the complete article: The deeper is your dependency, the deeper is your fear

Be a good friend of the mind.

We have been told only two things, either become the servant of the mind indulge in whatever it tells you to do or become a renunciate, a saadhak and learn to control the mind. Both these directions are directions of division, where you are dividing yourself against yourself. I am talking about something totally different. I am talking about defending the mind. And you know what defending the mind means? It means that “The book is open in front of me but the mind says, “That mobile phone is so attractive. I want to be with that mobile phone. and you say alright, you want to be with that mobile phone, let’s be with the mobile phone, let’s see what you want to do? Do whatever you want to do, I will not stop you. I will just remain present.”

Let the mind do, what it wants to do. Remain present along with the mind, do not leave it alone. Good friends do not leave each other. At the same time, they do not try to rule each other. They also don’t judge each other. Be a good friend of the mind. “You want to go there, I will come along. Whatever you want to do, do that but do that in front of me, in front of my awareness. I’ll watch what you are doing. Do what you want to do, let me just watch.” And then you will discover what the mind wants. And then you will discover why it rushes about in such a mad way, in such particular directions. And that will be a different knowing altogether. Are you getting it? 



Read the complete article: How to prevent distraction of mind?

You don’t really want lust, you want love

You think that lust will provide for your deepest spiritual need. You think that by getting a woman, you will get some kind of liberation. Don’t you see how mad you are when mortal love strikes you? Do you see how ecstatic you feel when that happens which you call as falling in love? No, it is not merely the arrival of a new woman that has made you go bonkers. The woman has come with the hope, with a promise, the woman has come as God to you.

It is not the arrival of the woman that you are celebrating, it is the arrival of Godliness that you are celebrating. That is why you are taking lust as you friend. Lust brought the woman to you and you are thinking that now through this woman you will get some peace and that is why you celebrate that woman. Later on of course you discover that no man or woman can give you peace. So, your hopes are dashed.

But in the interim you get some opportunity to keep wallowing in your misplaced hopes. Krishna wants to liberate us of our misconceptions. So, he says that these are enemies -anger, lust, attachments. All of them bring false promises to us. All of them, in the garb of bringing us closer to the goal, to god, only keeps us separated. That is why, lust has to be called an enemy. When you stop looking at lust as a friend, then lust is neither a friend nor an enemy. Then you are free of lust, then lust is free of you.

Free of lust, you are relaxed and beautiful. Free of you, lust too is free and beautiful.

You had asked, “How to have love rise from lust?” By seeing that you are in lust not for the sake of lust but for love.

Objects just attract each other. The ego is not really attracted to objects. Objects attract only each other. The ego is attracted only to the one who would really bring contentment to the ego. But the ego uses objects as means when you can see that all your lust is for the sake of love. You are using lust just as a means. You don’t really want lust, you want love. Lust is a means. Then you can let lust just be and move directly to love. When you see that it is not at all effective to use lust as a means of fulfillment then you leave lust in its own place and you move on. Rather, you move back to your own place.



Read the complete article: Can love arise from lust?

That which you desperately seek is made distant by your seeking

Mind makes God a problem. By keeping God away, it makes God a problem. Do you see this trick of the mind? It uses even God to sustain itself. It is such an ugly thing to do. You have made God into a problem.

You come and ask, you sit here and ask, “Sir, how to reach God?” What a problem. Now if reaching god is a problem then certainly you, the valiant one, you the intelligent one, you the heroic one are required to tackle the problem.

And then you also require some Guru or some shopkeeper to suggest the way to beat that problem. “You come, I’ll tell you how to attain Moksha in eight steps. It’s a three month course. And that’s the enrolment desk.”

Now unless there is a problem, how can a solution be sold? So if you want to sell something, first of all it is necessary to convince the other that there is a problem.

The wise ones who loved us, in their compassion have always told there is no problem, there is no separation. What are you trying all these methods, techniques, tricks, acrobatics for? They are not needed. You are making a fool of yourselves by keeping Love, God, Truth, Essence, Core – distant.

That which you desperately seek is made distant by your seeking.

Stop seeking and you are there. Instead you have been told that you must seek intensely so that you get it. I assure you that the more intensely you seek, the more intensely you remain the seeker. There is pleasure in remaining the seeker, there is respectability in remaining the seeker.

It depends on you, what do you want. The real thing, or the pleasure and respectability of remaining the aspirant.


Read the Complete Article: That which you desperately seek is made distant by your seeking

What kind of mind needs entertainment?

What kind of mind needs entertainment?

The restless, bored mind.

Now, what is important? To find a solution to the problem of entertainment or go to the root problem? ‘Why am I bored at all? Why do I need entertainment?

Obviously, I need entertainment! All the shopping malls are crowded in the weekends. Everybody needs entertainment. And why do people need entertainment? People need entertainment because they do soul sapping jobs throughout the week.

For five days I do something, I shouldn’t have done, so last two days I want to get away somewhere. They have those weekend getaways, weekend parties. What should I do in this situation? Entertain myself more or look closely at the boredom? For five days of the week I am being killed, last two days I want to drink a lot. What should I do? Drink more and more or avoid being killed? If your friends help you get more and more entertainment, are they really your friends?

If they are removed, chances are you will get the space to look clearly at the real problem.

You are stressed out because there is the possibility of the weekend. Why do I tolerate my Tuesdays and Wednesdays? It is because there is a Saturday and Sunday awaiting me. Remove Saturdays and Sundays and people will stop tolerating their Wednesdays and Thursdays. So Saturday and Sunday are the reason why all the torture of Thursday and Friday is tolerated. Remove Saturday and Sunday, and things will be alright. Nobody would then engage himself in such mindless work.


~ Excerpts from the article, ‘Friends, jobs and the need for entertainment

Read more on BOREDOM :Why is life not lively?