Individual enlightenment is a myth.

Don’t ask for your personal freedom. Help others around you, be free. You will never be personally liberated, never. It’s impossible. Individual enlightenment is a myth. Either all get it together or nobody gets it. We all are in the same boat. Either we all cross or we all sink together.

To help yourself, help the other.

This is not merely altruism. You are not being charitable. This is the holiest form of selfishness. Help the other crossover, on your back. When the other reaches the other shore, you would find that you too have reached the other shore. Also, without having the other on your back, you will find that you cannot swim. This is the nature of the ‘world’ river.

The ‘world’ river is a flow of relationships. Nobody cuts through it alone. Take everybody with you, as many as you can. The more you take along with you, the more strength you get to take more and more with you. And do not take this as an exaggeration. I am saying, one day you may find that have been carrying the entire Universe with you.

It is not a matter of just the relationship between two people – Father and son, and husband and wife. No, not at all.



Read the complete article: Relief from Loneliness

Be a parent even to your lover

People have talked of the one who cannot be talked of, in various ways. They have talked of him as a lover, they have talked of him as a creator, as a destroyer. But the most charming description of him, is him as a parent, as a father or as a mother. And that is why, even amongst Saints, you find most references to him as that of Father or Mother. Yes, some people have called him lover also. Some have called him destroyer also. Some have given him other colorful names, beautiful names. But the most prevalent name is Father or Mother. There is a reason.

Look at what he is doing. You would find that among other things, mostly he is engaged in parenting. He is engaged in having things complete their cycles. Grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up. Even death is the next step in growing up. Grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up, and die. So, even if you call him destroyer, he is still a parent. He is helping you grow by dying.

There is great joy in parenting, there is great joy in helping the other grow and seeing the other grow. Be a parent, even to your lover. Be a parent even to your husband, even to your wife. If you are a man, be a Father to your wife. If you are a wife, be a Mother to your husband. That is Godly.

Be a father to your friend, be a mother to your pet. And obviously, that is far beyond physical procreation. Obviously, that is far beyond the social institutions of marriage etc. You are a parent, irrespective of who the other is. Your touch is a touch of life. Your very touch is a healing gesture. You touch someone and he grows. You know what is growth? Growth is expression. You know what is expressed? The Truth is expressed. That is what is called being a parent. You touch the other one, and his heart comes to be expressed. That is Godly.

That is the only way, anybody ever grows. That is the only way anybody ever gains maturity. By parently touch, by the touch of God, by the touch of Absolute. Touch the other one and help him gain maturity. That is the joy of living. That is in some sense, the only way of living.

And the more we talk of it, the more it appears foolish to escape away to some corner of the city or to a village, or to a desert, or a mountain. To any secluded place and hide there. Look at the one you are worshipping. You are saying that you are going to hide in that cave so that you may worship. The one you are worshipping remains engaged. He is engaged with you, with you, with you, with you. He is always in relationships. God is in a million relationships. Million is such a small number. Why must then you abdicate your relationships?



Read the complete articleTo help yourself, help the other

To be integrated is to be one, and to be disintegrated is to be divided

To be integrated is to be one, and to be disintegrated is to be divided. Not completely in, not completely out. Not completely here, not completely there. Not joyful, not hopeless either. And the division is not merely two-fold. It’s not as if one’s mind is divided in two. The mind is divided into 20,000 parts. Each part running in a separate direction. And that is conflict, that is violence that is what the speaker refers to as the unspeakable sorrow. Because from the divided mind of the individual results divided relationships, divided societies, ultimately a divided world. And everything is just bits and pieces. That’s the pain, right?

Suppose you are sitting here, and you’re not completely here. Do you understand the agony of that, the sheer sorrow of that? Why should I move from that platform to this place, so that I can be, fully with you? And that alone can be peaceful. That is integration. Are we getting this? Being here, yet not being here, would be sorrow.

Now, what is education doing? Is it helping me as a teacher and the student be whole, be complete, be totally here? Or, is my education sending parts of me somewhere else.

Let me give you an example. Study today so that you may get a result tomorrow. What is being done to the mind of the students? Study today, so that you may get good results tomorrow. What is being done to the mind of the students? Please tell me. Where is the student? The student is here. And where are we sending his mind?

In Future.

What is important, that, there, in the future, the results. This is Disintegration. Unknowingly the teacher has disintegrated the student. Not that the teacher has bad intentions. He’s a teacher. Yet because the teacher has not taken care, to deeply inquire, what has resulted in is that you have broken the child or parents.

What is the child? The child is, the student is, what he or she is. And then there is the comparison. The comparison that begins at home, is institutionalized by the university. How? These are the toppers. Now, what else do the parents do? “The neighbor in so good at studying, you are not.” The University takes that forward in a more polished way.



Read the complete article: What is an integrated mind?

What do you mean by a fact?

What do you mean by a fact?

A fact is something impersonal. A fact is something that won’t change with your mood. A fact is something that doesn’t come out of your prejudice. The limitation associated with a fact is that it takes the objective world, as the reality. That is why the Truth is above facts. But facts, at least redeem you from imaginations. The only flaw that remains still associated with facts is that they pertain only to the objective world. And that is alright. There is certain honesty about it. You are stating what you are seeing.

Only by looking honestly at the objective world, this world, can we know the essence, the basis of this world. What else otherwise is available to us? If you won’t use this world, what else will you use? Is there anything else given to you? Your hands, they can only hold the material. Your eyes, they can only look at the material. Your ears, they can only hear material sounds. And your mind, it can only think of the material. So, when we have to proceed only with the material, then it is very important, to be honest with the facts.

We do not live in facts. We live in our opinions about facts. These are two very different things, mind you.

Whenever you come across a problem, first thing, you do not know the problem. Do not begin by saying that, this is the problem and now I am going to solve it. When you come across a problem, first of all, drop all your pretensions about your understanding.



Read Complete Article: When does a situation become a problem?

The relationships of a healthy mind

This is what love is – a composed, relaxed mind. To put it simply, to love the other is to have a healthy relationship with the other and for the mind to have a healthy relationship with the other, first of all the mind must be healthy in itself. Are you getting it?

How can I have a healthy relationship with you, if I am not healthy?

How can the relationship be healthy, when the mind in the relationship is not healthy?

Is it possible?

Is it possible that the mind is diseased but, the relationship is healthy? Is it possible?

Do you get now, what love is? A healthy mind, the relationships of a healthy mind are called Love.

The relationship of a healthy mind are called loving relationships.



Read the Article: What is a relationship of love?

Our moodiness is just our deep dependency, deep slavery.

Our moodiness is just our deep dependency, deep slavery. But there is another way of living. Want to know of that? That is, when whatever is happening, is happening only on the surface. Deep within myself, I find a point that no external situation can touch. A very deep, silent and composed point.

So you tell me a joke, I laugh. I laugh but that point within me will remain untouched. A very sad event has taken place, I will cry. I will cry but that point in me will not cry. That will remain stable, uninvolved, a non – participant. Then it is alright. If you can have that point within you which — in no situation, no happening, no voice, no sight — nothing can touch, then it is alright.

I am running very hard, the situation demands that I run very hard. But that point remains still stable. I am not nervous. There is a great danger. Let’s say, a great physical danger. I am doing everything I can in the face of that danger but still that point within me is not afraid, not at all afraid. Then you are not a slave. Then you are really free. Whatever happens, happens on surface. My core is untouched. That core remaining untouched, is the freedom of life.

What do you want, a thousand idiots surrounding you or five real friends with you?

Why should I crave for recognition from somebody else? Remember, the one who will give me recognition, sanction, will act on his own values. He will appreciate only that which he thinks, is appreciable. If everybody thinks that ‘black’ is appreciable then what will I need to do to get their appreciation? I need to become black, wear black, demonstrate black, right? Is that not so? To get popularity and fame among people you have to do what the people like, right? Is that not so? So who is the master and who is the slave?

Remember, the common characteristics of masses is mediocrity. And to become popular among masses, you have to fall to mediocrity. Without becoming mediocre, it is impossible to become popular.

Excellence never becomes very popular.

Popularity means becoming a slave to others and secondly popularity means becoming a slave to others who are very mediocre. Not only are you a slave, you are a slave to an idiot. How does that sound? 

Following is always easier, right? Going up against the gravity is always a little more difficult. What do you think, the followers follow the leader? No, the leader follows the followers.

Popularity means I do not have an internal locus of control. I am constantly looking at others, trying to please them.

You do what you must do. You do that which brings peace to you. And let me tell you, when you are doing ‘that’, which stems from your peace and which brings peace then a few people will come to you, few people will recognize you but those will be real people.

What do you want, a thousand idiots surrounding you or five real friends with you?What do you want?

An authentic man can never be attracted towards a fake person. That is the reward of being real. When you are real, not only you enjoy being with yourself but you also find that your environment is full of the best that world can offer.

Do not make those decisions considering that how they would be perceived by society or friends. Do not make those decision considering what the convention has been. Look afresh at them. Don’t go by the traditional definitions of good-bad, right-wrong, big-small, acceptable-unacceptable. What comes from your intelligence, only that is acceptable. Everything else is totally unacceptable.

Everybody is lonely, and that is great news!

There is nobody who is at any given point too far away from crying. There is nobody who is too far away from breaking down. Oh! we have trained our tears to not to be disobedient. So, they don’t make unrequited appearances. We are social beings you see. We very well know the right place where to discharge any of the bodily fluids, including tears! One should not discharge in the open, even from the eyes; we are cultivated people, you know!

But look at your face. Look at the face of your neighbour, look at the face of your child, or husband, or wife. And if you have not trained yourself to be totally insensitive, you will know what the entire misery of this world is about. And that’s not something to feel bad about. That only shows that we are not totally dead yet. That only shows that which is calling us has not yet given up upon us.

If that which calls us would give up upon us, you would not feel what you feel. You would become accustomed to suffering. The very fact that we dislike suffering, that we suffer in suffering is proof that something beyond suffering is constantly calling us. That is proof that suffering is not our nature. And that is proof that one need not get adjusted to living a lukewarm life.

Nothing less than the total, the final, the ultimate beckons us. So, there is no need to compromise. And if you compromise, that would be such a pathetic compromise because it would give you nothing. You were distraught before the compromise, and you would remain distraught after the compromise. What’s the point of this compromise? So, don’t compromise, and keep moving. And when I say keep moving I mean keep in touch with your loneliness.

Those who suppress there loneliness become victim of suppression, those who keep in touch with their loneliness come up with great creativity. Beautiful songs have risen out of human melancholy. People talk of songs written in joy. I say that all songs that have any truth in them have actually risen from the honest depth of man’s suffering.

One who has never suffered can never write a song.
One who has never wept can never sing a song.
All art arises from the artist’s inner turmoil.
If you shelve that turmoil, if you lock it away, there would be no art in your life.
There will be nothing fluid, and real in your life.

And one of the worst culprits in this dimension are the so-called ‘spiritual people’. They have been told that to suffer is weakness. They have been told that suffering is sin. So, they wear a rotten mask of joyful appearance. You go to so many of these so-called spiritual places, and you will find people walking around with smiles because they have been told that unless you are smiling, you have reached nowhere in your spiritual pursuit. They have been told that Joy is akin to pleasure.

Poor are they, because they have no experience of Joy that lies in the total depths of despair. They do not know the Truth that shines when you are in total darkness. They do not know the realization that occurs when you have been beaten, bruised, cheated, deceived, totally and badly. They do not know the great fun that lies in tears.

Do not wear those masks!


Further Reading:

The Flying Kiss to the Sky

cover_fksA Flying Kiss to The Sky, is a collection of excerpts from various discourses of Acharya Prashant, arranged in a special order which makes it the ideal first book, for all who want to come close to the facts of their own lives.

The book is divided into three parts, each part helping the reader to appreciate the working of his own mind and hence, the world in more clear and precise terms. Its unique one-page-one-chapter format makes it even more simple. It won’t be wrong to say that it is a book for all: Reader, or non-reader; Professional, or Spiritual.

Paperback: Advait Publications Page

A marriage, a relationship can never be between two persons

A marriage, a relationship can never be between two persons. Never. Whenever it is a person that is attracted to another person, the fate of the relationship will be the fate of the person.

What is the fate of the person? Are you the same person that you were ten years back? Are you the same person that you were five years back? Are you the same person that you were two years back? Are you the same person you were a year back? Are you the same person you were even a moment back?

If the relationship is person to person then the relationship will die the death of a person — for the person is dying every moment. Person is so ephemeral, so transitory, so fickle — he doesn’t last. A person is the moods. A person is the tendencies. A person is the fleeting thoughts and emotions. The relationship may — just formally, just superficially — continue in time, but it would just be a drag. If the person, if the mind gets attracted to something, then that attraction would pass away as quickly as that particular state of mind passes away. And we very well know that states of mind come only to pass away. Or, after that, you may formally, socially, legally still maintain the relationship, but that relationship would have no life.

Why does one get attracted to the other?
One gets attracted to the other just as one gets attracted to anything.

Why does desire arise? Why does that pull, that attraction happen?

Behind every desire is the desire to be fulfilled. That is our permanent love affair—the mind seeking fulfilment.

What does that mean? Does that mean that as a person there is no possibility of having a relationship with another person? If the only right, proper and truthful relationship can be with peace, with fulfilment, does that mean that there is no possibility of having a relationship with a physical person? No, obviously not. Not directly. What if there is a person who helps you move towards your own center? What if there is a person who is moving towards his own center? And remember, that fulfilment, the center, is a common center for all.

Being in contact with this person becomes a way to come to your own center. Remember, the person is not important, your center, your fulfilment is important. You are still moving towards that direction where you must reach—your own center. This person is helping you reach there. Your relationship with that person is not direct, not primary. Your primary relationship is with the center, the peace, the fulfilment—God. That is the first relationship. But this person is helping to accelerate or catalyse that relationship.

Now an indirect relationship will be there. But that relationship is not person to person. You will not say that I am interested in you—the man or the woman. You will say, “I am interested in the Truth, God, and you are wonderful because you help me reach there. I am interested in going to my center. I am interested in finding peace, and you are wonderful because you help me find that. You are wonderful only because you help me find that; for no other reason. Remember, for no other reason. The primary importance is the Truth itself.

Two persons can be unified with each other only if they are first unified with God.

And hence, every real relationship is a triangle – Center and these two.

These two moving towards the center and that is why the poem says, “You, Me and God living together in that tiny room.” And the room keeps on getting tinier, tinier, tinier, tinier; tinier and ultimately the room vanishes. The room vanishes because all three are One. Compressed into one. Gone, finished, dissolved. God loving God.

No you,

no I,

no God,

Just God.


Further Reading:

The Flying Kiss to the Sky

cover_fksA Flying Kiss to The Sky, is a collection of excerpts from various discourses of Acharya Prashant, arranged in a special order which makes it the ideal first book, for all who want to come close to the facts of their own lives.

The book is divided into three parts, each part helping the reader to appreciate the working of his own mind and hence, the world in more clear and precise terms. Its unique one-page-one-chapter format, makes it even more simpler. It won’t be wrong to say that it is a book for all: Reader, or non-reader; Professional, or Spiritual.

Paperback: Advait Publications Page

Judgement

We judge others so that we can feel superior in comparison to them. We judge others so that our own evils appear smaller in comparison to them. Then such judgments are indeed evil.

Look at the lives of the Saints and the Prophets. They have often very clearly declared the wrong to be wrong – which is in today’s parlance – a clear case of being judgmental. They were very judgmental, but they were judgmental because they were compassionate. Such judgments are alright.

Was not Christ judgmental?

Look at his utterance, and you will see several of the things that he said, if you say them, people will say that you are judging. Was not Kabir judgmental?

You get the right to judge others only after you have first judged yourself rightly, and that requires honesty.


To read the complete article: Before judging others, know yourself

Suffering is the result of forgetting Advait

Whenever you see a thing, do not be captivated by it.

At that very instant, remember it’s opposite.

Be situated at a point, where you can look equally at black and white together and in parallel.

Do not be swayed away, do not be taken in.

And when you are bothered, resist the temptation of going to the opposite of your current state. It would be a great temptation but resist.

When you encounter suffering do not jump to the other pole.

Instead, remember that suffering comes when you are in between the poles, or at either of the poles.

Suffering is the result of forgetting the non-dual Truth.

Suffering is the result of forgetting Advait (non-duality; oneness).

That is the only reason why you suffer.