Life is not that tragic

The mind is like that. It has no independent existence of its own. It lives only in relation. Only in comparison. If it cannot relate something to the past it will not be able to make any sense of it.

It derives its very existence from a relationship with knowledge. The thing must already be there in the mind by way of knowledge for it to make any sense to you. So that’s all the mind can do.

Life is not that tragic. The new is there, every moment is new. We are leaving continuously in the new but the faculty that will know the new is not the conditioned.

The only way to come close to the happening is by way of direct approach. Comparison is indirect approach and you have the capability to approach rife directly.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: Why does the mind compare everything with the past?

To be alive is to be working

To be alive is to be working. You are working all the time, because ‘action’ is happening all the time.

“Work is not outside of me, work is an expression of me.” Work is not outside of me, work is just an expression of who I am.

If the first category is where you belong to, then work is sufficient. The return, the reward, is contained in the work. If the second category is where you belong to, then work is not sufficient. Then work, plus, rewards is what you are looking for.

The salary is not contained in the work. The salary is an output of the work. This is the second way of living.

Man is the only one, who has to support his ambitions as well. Man is the only one, who has to support his psychological self as well. Then obviously, supporting yourself becomes a burden. Then obviously, just carrying on with life, becomes a burden. Because life is demanding so much.

Do not live a life that tries to escape work, and also do not live a life that uses work as a medium for psychological aggrandization.

Work must always be there as an expression of your Heart.

Action is always happening. You cannot avoid action. Even avoiding action is just another action. So, action will happen.

Fight hard and then let what is going to happen, happen. Do not worry about the result. Just say, that I did what I had to, and I have now devoted the result to you(Krishna).



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant on Khalil Gibran: How to know the right work for oneself?


 

The World will take back, what it has given

You can either keep plucking each single leaf, trying to get rid of, trying to destroy the different kinds of fears or you can strike straight at the root.

We have cultivated a feeling within us that we are incomplete and that incompleteness is to be filled with objects brought from outside, thoughts, ideologies, people, relationships, money, respect, qualifications.

Your entire sense of being, your entire self-esteem, self-worth, self-concept is now dependent upon the World. All identities are coming from outside. Everything that you think is precious is now coming from outside.

What comes from the World can always be taken back by the World.

That is the root of fear, the assumed sense of inner incompleteness.

There was nobody and there is hardly anyone today who comes and tells you that you are complete, beautiful and wonderful, as you are.

Whosoever wants to control you, can control you only if you feel small about yourself.

The disease itself does not exist! Why are you treating yourself with all these fake medicines? Ambition, accomplishment, recognition. All these are false medicines for a non-existent disease. That is fear. Something will be taken away from me. The World will take back, what it has given me.

The really important was never given to you by the World, so how can the World take it back? The really important is something so intrinsic, so innate to your being that nobody can touch it.

Those who want to live fearlessly must get rid of their dependencies. And you can get rid of dependencies, only when you first realize that you don’t need to dependent. That you are good, complete, alright. Perfect as you are. Essentially!



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: How to completely drop fear?


 

Freedom is Health

Love is a relationship. A healthy relationship is LoveAny healthy relationship is Love, and a healthy relationship is possible only when you are healthy.

What is healthy being? A healthy being is one who is not restless, who is not continuously suffering, whose mind is not continuously wandering in tension, in misery.

You don’t need to become healthy, you are healthy.

What does Health mean? Health means that which you are without any education.

Even in your worst situation, even in your darkest hour, even in your last breath, you will not be able to force yourself to like slavery. It is impossible.

Freedom is Health.

Nobody can lose his or her NatureYou are Healthy.

Becoming is alright in small matters but in essential matters of life, becoming is a disease, unnecessary disease. A disease that is just an assumption but such a deep assumption that it ruins the entire climate of the mind.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: The relationship of the healthy being is Love

Jesus is a lover of youth

Aloneness is an elusive mirage for mankind.

Real aloneness is a prerogative only of the Buddhas.

 

We are always related.

We always find our identity in the other through the other.

 

We exist as someone with respect to something or somebody or this or that, that is not the best way of existing, but that’s the de-facto mode of our existence.

 

If we are in a crowd, we are the crowd.

The crowd is such a refuge.

 

To take a bath you must, first of all, dislike the stink. Shouldn’t you?

 

Spirituality is the art of breaking up.

God doesn’t come to those who are already engaged.

 

Spirituality is hard and tight, not soggy.

It’s not spongy. It’s upright, not flaccid.

Especially if you are coming to Jesus.

 

Jesus is a lover of youth.

His retinue didn’t have old and the aged.

All relatively roaring, green ones.

 

Don’t you see it’s just Maya,

and she knows when to strike?

Read more

Living for others happen only to the one who has nothing personal to live for.

Have you not seen parents do this to their kids? “We raised you, we fed you, we taught you.” You can visualize the same being done to a cow. You would never quote “We milked you.” You would only say, “We fed you, we protected you.” What about the milking? What about the expectation of the milking? If one is really doing something genuinely for others, there are no conditions attached. There never are any fine prints. Neither are there conditions attached in the beginning nor are there conditions attached in the action. You will be prepared to do anything. And, anything means anything.

You can love someone so much that you can lay down your own life for that person. And you can love someone so much that you can be prepared to kill that person. Anything means anything.

Kindly get over this notion that we live for others. That is the privilege granted only to a Buddha. Living for others happen only to the one who has nothing personal to live for. If you have a lot that is personal in your life, personal time, personal freedom, personal money, personal thoughts, personal relationships, personal choices, as long as you have all this personal stuff in your life, you will live only for this stuff.

You have a personal family. You fight for that family. You do a lot for that family. Does that mean you are doing anything for others? Your self-interest, your conditioning is related to the ones you are striving for.

Yes, you are right. Your suspicion is not pointless. You are asking, “Are our day-to-day battles wrong?” Most of them are. What was the definition of a wrong battle? That starts from incompleteness. We fight to win, we fight to gain, we fight to conquer, we fight to get. Hence, our battles are wrong.” If I win, I would be richer by so much. If I win, I would be bigger by so much.” Obviously, the battle is wrong. Equally, parallelly, without any change in the intention, it can be said, “If I win, my daughter would be bigger by so much. If I win, my son would be richer by so much, if I win, my wife would be happier by so much.” Same thing, just the same thing.

If your wife is happier, she makes you happy. Ultimately we are trying for your own personal self. If your son is richer, you feel that the riches would, or at least, some kind of gratefulness would come to you. It is this gratification that you are after. Even if your son does not give you a single paisa, you still feel gratified, saying what, “My son – he is earning so much, and you know what, I’m independent enough to not accept a single paisa from him. That is the tradition of our honored clan. We raise sons but we do not demand anything from them.”

Being what we are it is hardly possible for us to do anything for others. Let us never weigh the other down with stories of our unconditional help or love. That does not happen with us. We are trying to make the other feel guilty for something he has never done. And we are trying to make ourselves feel inflated, superior, for something that we have never given. This is bad. Simply bad.

To give really fully, to give really unconditionally, have a huge heart. Really huge heart.




Read the complete article: Only a Buddha can really help others

We hardly ever relate in love

Relationship can be of any type. Relationship can involve multiple levels. Right now you’re sitting on a chair, there is a relationship between you and the chair. Right now there is this mic in front of me, there is a certain relationship between me and mike. You use your bike, there’s a certain relationship between you and your bike. It is not necessary that every relationship involves love. However, if the mind is loving then love will be present in all relationships. Get these two things together and parallelly.

We relate with so many and so much, people, animals, objects, ideas, bodies, the sense of self, we relate with them all, but we hardly ever relate in love. You can have a relationship your entire life without the relationship being a loving relationship. Yes, you would have a relationship, but there would be no love in it, it would be dry. Love is so fine, so tender, and so subtle, that those who have known have even gone to the extent of saying that love should not be called a relationship at all.

They have said that the word ‘relationship’ is a totally spoilt word. The word has become abused. So, when you say ‘relationship’, it should only mean a pre-scripted, definite, predefined, stale kind of relationship. When that is how you connect to the other, then using the word ‘relationship’ is fine. But when two people are together in love, and when I say ‘two’, and I say ‘people’, ‘two’ can mean anything from one till infinity, and ‘people’ can mean people, thoughts, ideas, things, animals, anything.



Read the complete article: Giving back to parents

The past, first of all, raises a future, then directs the mind to chase that future.

Without any self-inquiry, we claim that we are a product of our city, a product of our economic situations. And, when we say that, are we not using that statement just to hide our fear, just to remain what we are? You let yourself to be defined by your past, by your experiences, by your gender, by your religion, by your money, by your knowledge. And you will have to look at the future, the next big thing.

You will have something unended continue in your mind. You will have scores to settle. You will have an unfinished task. The past has no intentions ever of remaining a past. In fact, calling it as past is a mistake. You know what past means? Past means left behind. You say you have gone past something. The past is never left behind, you never go past it. If there is one thing which can never never be left behind, it is the past. It will continue. In fact, it will jump ahead of you. Not only will it stay with you, it would be running ahead of you.

It would be running ahead of you like a guide. A very deceptive guide. Nevertheless something, someone, that claims to be a guide. Most of us think that the past is there behind the back. No, the past is there in front of the eyes. Not only it is in front of the eyes, it is actually guiding the eyes, guiding the mind, guiding the feet. The past decides what our future would be like.

The past, first of all, raises a future, then directs the mind to chase that future. Is there anything that you think of, anything that you feel happy about, anything that you feel disappointed about that is not coming from your past? Are all our disappointments not cultivated disappointments. Had you not been told by the movies, by the novels, by family, by all the mythological stories, that this is something that you need to feel bad about, would you still have felt bad about such things?



Read the complete article: There is nothing called a new beginning

Then why are you doing it? Just for fun.

We say, “If I am already fulfilled, why would I work at all?” No, there is a quality of a free, intense and a passionate dance in this kind of work. I want nothing, there is nothing that I want to get from what I am doing and yet I am doing it with all my energy, devotion and passion. I am almost worshipping what I am doing. What will I get from all these? Nothing. What is there in it for me? Nothing. Then why are you doing it? Just for fun.

Why does the river flow? Why does the wind blow? Am I not allowed to dance? Am I not allowed to love reasonlessly? Must I follow the prevalent dictates of cause and effect, of success and failure, of action, accompanied by the fruit of action? Can’t there be something called desireless action? There can be such a thing, it is not a hypothesis. In fact, if that thing, that quality of mind is not there then life is not worth living.

If we work only to get something, if all our actions, if all our relationships are just for the sake of achievement, if whatever we do is a calculated action, then the mind only knows transactions and business, it knows no love. Such a mind would forever be in a state of loveless desperation, crying for relief.



Read the complete article: To be free, first discover the nature of your bondage

Look at that which really bothers you

 First, create a problem out of nothing and then solve it and feel good. Life is worthy. That is the mantra of living. Spend the first half of the day creating the problem, spend the second half of the day solving it. And do not see that this mind that wants to live in this escape is itself the biggest problem. Hide that like an assumption. Keep that buried. The real dictator is hiding and all the time creating dummies so that you can keep shooting the dummies and feel like a winner.

Look at that which really bothers you. Look at the core of your fear. Go to your innermost pain point. See what is it that makes you cry out without any apparent reason. Touch your innermost suffering. Only that can be a true relief. Not that I am greatly happy because I got 2% discount on my new sweater. Touch your innermost suffering, not surface trivia that these days I am suffering greatly because the temperature is in the range of 15 to 19 degrees. Whenever the temperature is in this range I suffer.

This is not suffering. This is an escape.

What is the problem of problems? What is the mother problem? Can we find that out? What is the soil on which all these problems germinate, can we find that out? Or, will we keep ourselves occupied with rubbish? What is the problem of problems? Let’s go ahead, what is the problem of problems? Look at that, what is the real dictator? Not the dummy ones.



Read the complete article: Mind invents dummy problems to escape looking at itself – the real problem

Nobody can rob you of your Nothingness

Look at the urge in your heart. Who gave it to you? And if they didn’t, how can they take it away? See, whether you are understanding what I am saying right now! Who enabled you to understand? And, if nobody did, who will take away your understanding?

When you have no tensions, no worries, no roles, you still are. And not only are you there, you are actually blissfully there. With Nothing, you are blissfully there. Only with Nothing, you are blissfully there. And if you can be blissful with Nothing, who will take away this ‘NOTHING’ from you? That is the powerlessness of others. They can take away from you, only as long as there is some ‘thing’ to be taken away. If there is one thing that can’t be taken away from you, that is – NOTHING.

Who can rob you of your Nothingness? And if nobody can, then why are you so anxious? Chill.

You have nothing to lose, and that ‘Nothing’ cannot be lost.


Read the complete article: Is it possible to eliminate fear completely?

Individual enlightenment is a myth.

Don’t ask for your personal freedom. Help others around you, be free. You will never be personally liberated, never. It’s impossible. Individual enlightenment is a myth. Either all get it together or nobody gets it. We all are in the same boat. Either we all cross or we all sink together.

To help yourself, help the other.

This is not merely altruism. You are not being charitable. This is the holiest form of selfishness. Help the other crossover, on your back. When the other reaches the other shore, you would find that you too have reached the other shore. Also, without having the other on your back, you will find that you cannot swim. This is the nature of the ‘world’ river.

The ‘world’ river is a flow of relationships. Nobody cuts through it alone. Take everybody with you, as many as you can. The more you take along with you, the more strength you get to take more and more with you. And do not take this as an exaggeration. I am saying, one day you may find that have been carrying the entire Universe with you.

It is not a matter of just the relationship between two people – Father and son, and husband and wife. No, not at all.



Read the complete article: Relief from Loneliness

To help the other, you have to be a nobody.

I have often and repeatedly said that to help the other, you have to be a nobody. Now, that sounds quite theoretical and abstract. What is meant by this statement, that to help the other you have to be a nobody?

It means that you have to be a someone, a no one, who has no choices or preferences of his own, except the preference to love. Except the desire to be loving, all other desires are now gone. Or, at least all other desires are now secondary. The primary desire is just love. All other desires are subservient to it now. Which means, that I am not really bothered about what I am doing, as long as it is serving the purpose of loving. I don’t have any choices, preferences left now. I will not say that I will do this work only my way. Then how will I do this work, which way will I do this work? Now, I will do this work, your way. If I am nobody then I get all the freedom to act as per your wishes. Are you getting it?

In trying to help the other, often a big barrier is the helper himself. Because, the helper says, “I will help, but only in this particular way. This particular way which is the right way according to my ideology. I want to help you, by helping you behave as per my wishes.” Now, that’s a barrier.

To help someone, you have to be a no one which means that your own dislikes and likes relegate to the background. Now, you look at the other. Now, you look at the others conditioned mind. Obviously the other is conditioned. Obviously the other is trapped, that is why he needs help.

So, you look closely at the mind on the one you intend to help. And you say, “I have no preferences, openly on a clean slate I will see, how this person can be helped? I have no ideology. I am not approaching this person with a preset agenda. Instead, I am seeing, that if this person is conditioned, what is the contour of the conditioning? What is the whole landscape of the city that he has built inside his mind? What are the patterns of his or her conditioning? And to liberate her, I will use those patterns. Now, in using those patterns the barrier is your own patterns. Because you say that if I use those patterns, then I am doing something wrong, something immoral. Or, at least I am doing something that I don’t stand for. That does not correspond to my ideals.”

The real helper is a man without ideals. The real helper is free to help. That is what is meant by being without ideals.



Read the complete article: One is enslaved with her own consent

Do we need to drop the family?

When you say, “Family,” are you talking really of persons, or a network of relationships? It appears as if we are talking of persons because the moment somebody says, “Family,” he says, “Father, mother, sister, brother.” So, what do you name? Persons. So, we get into an illusion that the family is made up of persons, but if we go a little closer to it, a little deeper, we will find that the family is not really persons. The family is relationships. The view that you have of the person is the person. Is the person anything except the meaning he or she holds for you? And the meaning that that person holds for you is your relationship with him.

There is a girl, there is her father. Is the father the same to the world as he is to his daughter? Had it been about the person, the person would have been an objective entity, same to the entire Universe, right? So, it’s not the father, it’s the relationship between the father and the daughter that defines the father in the daughter’s eyes, and the daughter in the father’s eyes. 

So, what do you mean when you say, “Do we need to drop the family?” Obviously, you do not need to drop the persons. But, don’t you need to drop all the poison that is there in relationships? Must you drop the persons, or must you drop all the harmful aspects of the relationship? In other words, the person remaining the same, can’t the relationship change? And obviously the person has to remain the same, one is not going to fetch a substitute pair of parents. They are not readily available, are they? The persons cannot be changed, not in most cases.

Then what do we mean by family, what do we mean by improving the family environment? Obviously, it means that the relationship has to change. If you are relating in fear, in anger, or in greed, then that aspect of relating needs to be dropped. And, that can be dropped only when the need to have that aspect is first dropped from within yourself.



Read the complete article: One is enslaved with her own consent

Time will not help

Never rely upon the argument that time will heal things, that time will bring the Truth to the trapped one. Time will not bring the Truth to the trapped one, Grace may. And Grace is not dependent upon time. You cannot say that if I spend two years, then Grace befalls. So, avoid spending, even the next minute inside the trap. The more is the time that you spend inside the walls, the more difficult it will be for you to bring down the walls.

The conventional logic that one will ultimately get fed up of slavery, does not work. Nobody ever gets fed up of slavery, never. In fact, the longer you remain a slave, the deeper becomes your adjustment to slavery. Now, you are a well-adjusted and apparently satisfied slave. So, do not think that time can help. Time will not help. Time will only thicken the walls. Time will only raise another layer of dust upon the mind. Time will make your vision, even more blurred. This is not a disease that time can heal, for this is a disease that time itself has given. Kindly do not wait for tomorrow, time will not help.

If all this gives us, even the slightest indication, that we might be trapped, then do not wait. We have already waited long enough. Far longer than we should have.



Read the complete article: One is enslaved with her own consent

Are you able to listen to your own love song?

Ever seen a dead man, just died, everything is still there. He is still wearing the clothes that he was wearing a moment back. If he had had just had tea, the tea too, is still there. If there is a particular expression on his face before he died, even the expression is still there. The clothes are there, the body is there, the teeth are there, what is missing? Bring that, bring that, bring that.

“Jis tan preet na sanchare so tan jaan masaan,

jaise khaal lohaar ki saans let binu praan”

And ironsmith’s skin, oh! they no more use it, technology is advanced, they used to have it. It was used to pump air into the furnace. So, air out, it would collapse, air in, it would swell and it was made of animal’s skin. So, air in, and air out is happening even with something as dead as the ironsmith’s equipment.

If you do not know the love song of your heart, your body is a graveyard.

 Jis tan preet na sancharae so tan jaan masaan…..   

Just because you are breathing, just because all the material processes are happening, do not call yourself as alive. Just because all the material processes are still happening with you, do not call yourself alive. You can be put on a ventilator indefinitely, all the material things will keep happening, but are you alive? After a few days doctors advice, “Take him off, he is actually, we are artificially just blowing air into him. He is actually gone.”

What is the point in hanging on to the material? Had it been all about breathing, then why would ever anybody be taken off a ventilator? The heart can be made to pump blood and if the heart does not pump blood there are other means to have blood circulate in your body. You can be kept technically alive but what is the point of such a life. Are we all not just technically alive? Are we really alive? Do these eyes really see? Does this heart really beat?

Check! Check! Check!

 Are you able to listen to your own love song?



Read the complete article: The song of the Heart

Be a parent even to your lover

People have talked of the one who cannot be talked of, in various ways. They have talked of him as a lover, they have talked of him as a creator, as a destroyer. But the most charming description of him, is him as a parent, as a father or as a mother. And that is why, even amongst Saints, you find most references to him as that of Father or Mother. Yes, some people have called him lover also. Some have called him destroyer also. Some have given him other colorful names, beautiful names. But the most prevalent name is Father or Mother. There is a reason.

Look at what he is doing. You would find that among other things, mostly he is engaged in parenting. He is engaged in having things complete their cycles. Grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up. Even death is the next step in growing up. Grow up, grow up, grow up, grow up, and die. So, even if you call him destroyer, he is still a parent. He is helping you grow by dying.

There is great joy in parenting, there is great joy in helping the other grow and seeing the other grow. Be a parent, even to your lover. Be a parent even to your husband, even to your wife. If you are a man, be a Father to your wife. If you are a wife, be a Mother to your husband. That is Godly.

Be a father to your friend, be a mother to your pet. And obviously, that is far beyond physical procreation. Obviously, that is far beyond the social institutions of marriage etc. You are a parent, irrespective of who the other is. Your touch is a touch of life. Your very touch is a healing gesture. You touch someone and he grows. You know what is growth? Growth is expression. You know what is expressed? The Truth is expressed. That is what is called being a parent. You touch the other one, and his heart comes to be expressed. That is Godly.

That is the only way, anybody ever grows. That is the only way anybody ever gains maturity. By parently touch, by the touch of God, by the touch of Absolute. Touch the other one and help him gain maturity. That is the joy of living. That is in some sense, the only way of living.

And the more we talk of it, the more it appears foolish to escape away to some corner of the city or to a village, or to a desert, or a mountain. To any secluded place and hide there. Look at the one you are worshipping. You are saying that you are going to hide in that cave so that you may worship. The one you are worshipping remains engaged. He is engaged with you, with you, with you, with you. He is always in relationships. God is in a million relationships. Million is such a small number. Why must then you abdicate your relationships?



Read the complete articleTo help yourself, help the other

Love is to be a right participant in the game of lust

Love is to be a right participant in the game of lust. Please listen to this very carefully because you might not have heard of this before today. The game of lust is the game of Prakriti. It continues. The child is born and when a shiny object is brought in front of it, his hand automatically gets stretched out, it is lust. Nobody trains the child to look with focus at a frog, but when the Frog is hopping around, look at the eyes of the child, they lit up. The child starts looking with focus, exclusively, selectively, at the Frog. This is lust -object meets the object.

And when the child is looking selectively at the Frog, the child is ignoring the bland walls around him. The child is ignoring, the slippers that he is wearing. The child is ignoring the trees around. The child is ignoring the earth under his feet. This indifference to some objects too is lust. Lust is the very game of Prakriti, the game in which all objects participate. This is lust.

One does not have to teach the child to reach out to the mother’s breast, the child knows. One does not have to teach the child to suck his own thumb, the child knows. Every object, according to its Prakritik configuration, does what it does. That is lust. When I Prakriti, I mean physical nature. Nature expressed physically is Prakriti.

The Truth, when it takes the physical expression, it is called Prakriti.

So, according to his own Prakriti, his own physical nature, every object plays its role in this great game of life. That is lust. You too have a role to play. When you look at a flower, when you look at a shiny object, when you look at a rainbow, when you look at money, when you look at a woman, all that which is objective within you is called into action. You don’t have to grant your permission for that. That will happen automatically.

Bad odor enters your nostrils and automatically out comes the handkerchief. You don’t have to allow that to happen. And even if you do not consciously do it, your system, your face, your nostrils, will try to find a way away from the bad odor. Bad odor is an object, your nostrils are an object, the electrical impulses arising from the walls of your nostrils too are an object, and those electrical impulses travel to another object that is the brain, and all of that is configured action, all of that is Prakritik and automatic action.

In all this game of things happening in a configured way, in an automatic way, in a lustful way, where are you? You have a great role to play here. Where are you? You know what is your role? If you know your role, then you know love. When everything in you, around you, is participating, you too participate. But participate rightly. Just as everything else is participating rightly, you too participate rightly.



Read the complete article: How to transform lust into love?

Every mask brings more and more suffering

What do you think, your personal life is undivided? No. Are you not one person in front of father and mother, and another person in front of friends? Don’t you wear one mask in front of your boyfriend and girlfriend and another mask in front of relatives? Is that not so? Is that distinction only between personal and professional life?

No. We are divided and divided and divided and there is no end to division.

In the office, you are claiming as if professional life is one. Are you not a different person in front of the boss, and a different person in front of the guard who sits in front of the office? Are you the same in front of all your colleagues? No, we are divided. We only live in masks. Situations change and our masks change. And every mask brings more and more suffering, more and more load within.

Don’t be divided. Remain one, authentic and Real. Why do you need to show a false face? Why do you need to hide yourself? Why are you so afraid? Why do you become a different man the moment you receive a call from your mother? This moment you are sitting here and some of you are so deeply immersed, but if your phone starts ringing, the expression on your face will completely change. And your expression on your face will be one expression if mother calls and another expression if the wife calls. All these expressions are just masks. None of them are real. They are your various false personalities. And each of these personalities is taking its toll.

If you are unhappy, if you find yourself bored, if you can pay attention, the reason is only this. You are what you are. Don’t give it a name. Don’t label it. Don’t define yourself according to a situation. Don’t define yourself according to relationships. Don’t define yourself according to your gender, or date of birth, or age, or educational qualification. Whenever you will do all that, you’ll find you are under the obligation to keep on switching faces. And that is such a burden.



Read the complete article: How to balance personal and professional life?

In real relationship you are free to respond

Life is flexible. A real relationship is very liquid. It’s free to take all forms. It does not bind you. That’s the test of a real loving relationship. You are free to respond. You are not confined and hesitant. You do not say that if I say this to Papa then Papa will get very angry, so whenever Papa says something I must respond in one particular way. If that is the relationship then you please be cautious. There is something wrong somewhere.

In a real relationship, you can sometimes hug Papa and if needed even hit Papa. It’s alright. Just sometimes, not always. Have you not seen little kids do that? Have you not done that yourself? That happens in love. In military you cannot do that. But is your house a military cantonment where you cannot disobey your seniors?

In love you’re free to disobey, and you’re free to obey. You obey in your freedom, you don’t obey in fear. You obey because you love them. And because you love them you also have the license to disobey. There need not be one ready-made response. I am repeating that again and again.

Someday you wake up and you’re feeling delightful, you can just go and embrace Mumma, “What a brilliant morning this is.” And on another day you wake up and you’re feeling absolutely down, you may not say anything. You may walk past your sister, mother, father, and may not say anything. It’s alright. Why should there be a routine. Why should there be a pattern?

But this requires freedom. This requires love. This requires real closeness. It’s a man to man thing, an individual to individual contact, in which great space are available to both parties. Your views and there, my views are there, and everything can be accommodated. I look at everything in the light of intelligence. It’s not martial law. There is no law at all.



Read the complete article: In love you are free to obey and disobey