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But what I noticed through all this, is that, I was still very focussed on ‘me’ and ‘myself’ .Physically, I was constantly gauging how often I excerscised, what I ate, how I looked, so on and so forth.
The days I didn’t exercise or ate a bit carelessly, I would feel deep guilt.
Mentally, I was consumed with thoughts on how to gain more attention, or affection, would look for constant approval, and try and fit myself in a mould that would suit other’s images of me.
Spiritually, I would focus on how to become better at mediation
“Oh! I managed to sit still with eyes closed for 20 min. Wow! Well done, lets try 25 min tom.”
I would yearn for some sort of experience or the other.
Maybe weightlessness or divine lights or surreal music….
Sometimes I fooled myself into believing I had experienced all of these!
I kept at these 3 levels incessantly for years….
After I met Acharya ji, it all went out the window.
And rightfully so!
All garbage must be discarded as quickly as possible.
Acharya ji is very practical in his approach to all problems.
He kept insisting on looking at daily life.
He never spoke about techniques or mantras or quick fix methods.
Step by step he dispelled all illusions and myths.
Till then I was living less in facts and more in fanciful imagery.Now my focus has shifted from ‘little me’ to something so immense, that it has left me very light and worry free, almost like I’m floating (This is not some transcendental experience, it’s a fact that I’m living now)
I know if I’m with ‘That’ I don’t have to worry about anything, it all just gets taken care of.
Acharya ji shifts our focus from our petty selves and connects us with something so deep and vast that it consumes all the littleness inside and leaves one footloose and fancy free, in the truest sense.