Anger is often just an impotent and deceptive escape

44

Anger

You have heard that it was said to those of old, “You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, “Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, “You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.
Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.

~Jesus, Sermon on the Mount Read more

How do I know whether I really understand it?

Question: Sir, how do I know whether I am really understanding something or not?

Shri Prashant: Understanding is not some knowledge that you can hold and store here (pointing towards the brain).

 It has to become your life. If it is not becoming your life, it is useless.

You may know a lot about fearlessness.

“You know, I have read twenty volumes on fearlessness. And the moment I see a small lizard, all hell breaks loose!” Read more

The power of desire is the power you are using to suppress it

Questioner: My question is about anger. A few days back I got angry over the behaviour of another woman on the road and bashed out on her, without thinking anything. I then got this feeling that it should not have been done. I don’t know what I was doing. Inside I was feeling like, “How could I do that?” At the same time what was happening was intolerable.

Speaker: If it was really not tolerable, why do you blame yourself for getting angry?

Listener: No, I am not blaming the anger but this doesn’t usually happen.

Speaker: Why is the incident still sitting in your mind? Surely there is guilt. Surely you are blaming yourself. Do you remember everything that has happened over the last five days? Then why do you remember this one in particular? Because you do not like that you got angry. It violates the image that your teachers and parents and all the nice books provided you. “The nice lady does not get angry”. Why does the nice lady not get angry?

Everything has its place in existence. Why must you not get angry? Why?

Read more

Why can’t I stop cheating myself?

Questioner: Sir, I know somewhere I am cheating myself but I am still doing, what I am doing. Why?

Speaker: (Jokingly) You want to get beaten up, that’s it, nothing else.

(everyone laughs)

Mind has several diseases out of which one is this one as well. There are people who take pleasure in getting beaten up. Have you heard of such people?

(Jokingly) You want to get beaten up and there is immense pleasure in getting spanked. There are tools available in the market. Some people do not even get sexually aroused unless you beat them black, blue and red.

(everyone laughs)

That is it. According to his conditioning, one demands pleasure out of various things in life. There is nothing in existence which is not a source of pleasure to somebody or the other.

Read more

How to deal with anger?

Questioner: In spite of keeping all watch and vigil, anger comes and leads to wrong actions on certain trigger points and situations. After that it is realized that a slip happened. What is the way?

Speaker: There is nothing in existence that is unnecessary, totally useless, needlessly there. It is good that we are talking of anger, its causes and its consequences, the harm that it does. But that also might be because firstly anger is very gross, very visible. There is a clear sensual expression of anger. So, it becomes very obvious that we are angry; it cannot remain hidden. And secondly our education or morality has constantly taught us that anger is something bad. So to the problem of anger, we seem like being alert. But are we equally alert, let’s say, to the fact that even in those moments of the day when everything appears normal, we are actually feeling a little down, a little dull, a little bored, a little short of energy; that we do not consider a problem as big as anger, again for those two same reason. One, anger is gross and that constant sense of background boredom is subtle. In anger you shout, your face turns red, your blood pressure rises. In boredom, well, there is not much that happens that can be caught or traced by senses. Now you are just sitting, you are weary, you are yawning, and it doesn’t seem that there is much wrong with yawning. In anger, well you are beating people up. It seems that there is so much wrong with anger. And secondly, we have been taught that anger is bad and boredom is a much smaller evil. But is that so?

Read more

How do I get rid of my restlessness?

Question: Restlessness doesn’t really leave me. Why am I so restless? How can I get rid of my restlessness?

Speaker: Cars these days come with the auto-pilot feature. You can put the car on the cruise mode, especially on long drives, and the driver can relax. There was a research conducted on the vehicles that have this auto-drive feature.  It was found out that people who buy cars having this facility do not really use it. Read more

Happiness cannot be the purpose of life

Question: Sir, what is the purpose of life?  Is it earning money, or happiness?

Speaker: The lady is asking, ‘What is the ultimate purpose of life?’ She has already presented us two options:

  1. Earning money or,
  1. Happiness.

But you already know. You have already discounted everything else and zeroed in on to two options. What are they? That the purpose could be either to earn money, or to be happy.

Alright. So let’s first look at these two. What does one earn money for?

Listener 1: For livelihood.

Speaker: And, why does one want a livelihood?

Listener 2: For comfort.

Speaker: What does comfort give you?

Listener 3: Satisfaction and happiness. Read more

What is anger?

Question: What is anger?

Speaker: Something happens and you get angry. We are looking at that event very, very closely. Something happens and you get angry. Let us give the whole thing a shape, a name, a face. Let us say that a stranger comes to you and says that you are stupid. And he says this in front of many people. On the other hand, a friend on whom you rely, a friend whom you trust, he comes to you in front of twenty people and says you are stupid. And you have great trust on that friend, great belief in that friend. When would you be angry? When are you likely to be angry? When are you likely to feel hurt? When the friend says this or when the stranger? The stranger is a nobody. You do not know him; just somebody. He has just come, said a few comments and gone. When are you likely to feel hurt?
Read more

Money and growth will not fill your internal hollow

Acharya Prashant: A nice question has come to us. Our friend is saying that greed is making people work. If we remove greed from people’s life, they will not grow.  So I’m asking him, ‘What is growth?’ Read more

The ecstasy of random aimless wandering || Acharya Prashant (2013)

To personally meet or connect with Acharya Prashant: click here.


Listener: Sir, I could not understand the motive of not setting a goal in my life. If I do not have an aim or goal in my life, I do not think that there is a reason or spark in my life. If I have my goals, I will put all my energy to get them. If I won’t have any, I would go through different phases, and my energy would be dissipated in different ways.

Speaker: What goals did you have when you were 3 or 4 years old?

Listener: Anything like may be getting a chocolate.

Speaker: Why did you not stay firm on that goal?

Listener: Sir, because I got it.

Speaker: So, the chocolate was achieved, yet the goal remained. Anything beyond the chocolate, that remained, constantly.
Read more

Is dissatisfaction necessary for progress? || Acharya Prashant (2013)

To personally meet or connect with Acharya Prashant: click here.


Disatisfied how do you feel? Tell me.

Listener: Sir, I feel afraid, I feel insecure, and a lot of questions.

Speaker:  Right, you feel afraid, you feel insecure and a lot of questions – can we call them doubts? You feel doubtful.

Look at the flow that is coming to us. Progress requires that you must be dissatisfied. Dissatisfaction means that you are afraid, doubtful and insecure. Now if you are doubtful, afraid and insecure, what kinds of action will you take? Will you take healthy actions? Will those actions be good for you? When you are afraid, doubtful and insecure can you really take actions that are good for you? A fearful mind, an insecure mind, can it really take actions that are good for you? Look clearly at it. You are afraid, you are shivering and you do not know; you are highly confused. Now can you take a good decision in this moment? Can you?

(The listener smiles)

Speaker: Now, you are smiling, now you know that you can’t, right?

Listener: Yes sir.

Speaker: So that means when you are thinking of progress you must be dissatisfied and when you are dissatisfied you must be afraid, doubtful and insecure. And when you are afraid, doubtful and insecure then your actions cannot be good for you; and if your actions cannot be good for you then what kind of progress is this? Is it really progress? In fact it is deterioration, it is a decline, it’s a going backwards.

Real progress does not come from dissatisfaction. Real progress is about being firmly available to what is life, to whatever is going on? And then from there an intelligent action takes place. And that is progress. That does not mean that something is lacking or something has been added; that is just a movement, a beautiful movement ahead.

The kind of progress that you are talking of implies that there is something wrong with me right now and progress will make it right. Right now I am wrong and progress will make it right.

There is another kind of progress which says, I am right, right now; everything is ok, right now; everything is complete, right now. And out of this completeness, more completeness will result. Whatever I will do, will be good.

So, please do not think that it is necessary to be dissatisfied. Not at all, because dissatisfaction will only give you a sick mind from which only sick thoughts and sick actions will come. And ambitions and goals and targets are all forms of dissatisfaction. You say what is there right now is not good so I am ambitious to get something more. My target is to get something more. This way of living will not give you anything.

Real progress, real movement comes out of joy, love.

I am with a book; I am loving it; I am into it. And when I am with that book, deeply immersed in it then obviously I am understanding. And then from that a beautiful result may come. I am not bothered, I am not targeting it. But because I am in love with that book, hence the result is wonderful. It is wonderful without me demanding it, without me targeting it, without me asking for it. I am not studying for the sake of result, yet my result is wonderful. You get this, yes?

Listeners: Yes sir.

Speaker: Alright!


Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: Is dissatisfaction necessary for progress? || Acharya Prashant (2013)

To personally meet or connect with Acharya Prashant: click here.

Or, call the Foundation at 9650585100, or write to requests@advait.org.in


Support Acharya Prashant’s work:

  • Donate via Patreon: Become a Patron!
  • Donate via PayTm @ +91-9999102998
  • Donate via PayPal:

    (In multiples of $10)

    $10.00

 

Love does not expect

Shri Prashant: Shubhashish says it is natural and normal that when I do something for somebody, then I raise expectations. With how many of you does this happen? Read more

Success and failure || Acharya Prashant (2013)

To personally meet or connect with Acharya Prashant: click here.


Question : What do you understand by ‘failure’ and ‘success’? What is the relation between them?

Speaker : When do you call something a ‘success’? You call yourself successful when you have a goal, and you reach it. It is this attainment of that goal that you name as ‘success’. Right?

We know how confused we often are. We know how divided our minds are. What kind of goals will come from a confused, divided, dependent mind? Confused, divided and dependent goals. Read more

The difference between dream and vision || Acharya Prashant (2013)

To personally meet or connect with Acharya Prashant: click here.


Listener: Sir, in the last session we were told that all dreams arise from past experiences. I agree that dreams arise from past but then how do I dream of something which is not at all present in my past? How do I dream of something that I have not heard of, not read of and not experienced in past?

Speaker: To how many of you dreams are important? How many of you dream of something?

(Everyone raises hands)

Almost everybody, so is it good that this session opens with a discussion on dream. Should we proceed?

Listeners (everyone): Yes, Sir.

Speaker: Dreams are of two kinds:

The first kind of dream takes you away from yourself. This type of dream tells you that right now you are inadequate, incomplete, that there is something missing in you. This kind of dream is about becoming something. What is it about? Becoming something. I dream of becoming a millionaire, of having a lot of respect, of becoming university topper, of having a grand mansion for myself. I want to become successful and that’s my dream. This is the first kind of dream. Read more