Conflict among parents, and effect on child || Acharya Prashant (2019)

Conflict among parents, and effect on child

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Question: Acharya ji, what happens when parents are in conflict? What happens to the child? How can two people, the husband and the wife, love the child very much, but between them there is a lot of conflict?

What is the impact on the child? And how can the parent help the child to be a stable adult?

Acharya Prashant: It’s a double calamity. You see, first of all, there is this basic thing regarding company. Let’s say there is only one child. So, there are three people – the man, the woman, and the child.

The child has the company of the man and the woman. The man and the woman, constitute, let’s say fifty to eighty percent of the child’s company. Except for the neighboring playground, and the school he goes to, who is the one who provides him company? These two, the man and the woman.

So, it is these two, that he principally, got for company. And when you are in the company of people, who are always fighting, what effect will it have on your mind?

Forget that those people are your parents. Any two people. If you are in a railway coach, and that too, in an enclosed cabin, with two fellow passengers, and it’s just a journey let’s say ten hours long, and those two people are constantly squabbling, what would it do to you?

Listener: Irritating, Frustrating.

Acharya ji: If you are very patient, you will try to sleep. If you are little less patient, you will try to calm them down. If you know even lesser patience, you will pull the chain. And if you are totally fed up, you may as well not decide to wait the next station.

(laughter)

If even ten hours are intolerable, with two quarreling people, how does it feel to live with two quarreling fools, for an entire lifetime? Forget that they are your parents, any two persons. I said that even strangers, fellow travelers in a train. It’s a very-very bad thing to happen, to anybody. And worst, if it happens to the impressionable mind of the child.

When you are fighting, you become very-very self-centered. Extremely selfish. When you  are fighting, then ego is aroused to unimaginable levels. You forget all about anybody else. In the moment of aggressive excitement, you are totally yourself, you are totally the little self, you are totally the petty ego. And then the others’s welfare, the other’s concern, cease to matter. 

When the woman is fighting the man, and vice-versa, then it becomes immaterial to both of them, what is happening to the child. The woman has to win, the man has to win. And in the process of winning that petty battle, what is happening to the kid, becomes insignificant.

Listener: What is the solution?

Acharya ji: We have to see what is happening. Next thing, is the issue of identification. First thing was of company. Next is of, identification. Not only is the kid in bad company, he is deeply identified with these two quarreling people.

One is his or her mother. The other is his or her father. And what does identification mean? I am – that. This is what identification says, right? That am I. In the heated moment of the quarrel, what is the mother? The mother is pure aggression. What is the father? The father is pure hatred. And the kid is saying, “That am I,” because the kid is identified with the father and the mother.

So what does the kid become? Aggression and hatred. And the mother and the father will not even realise it. They will say, “We were fighting. We didn’t do anything to the kid as such.” You did do, and you did a lot. You destroyed the kid.

Listener: So, is it better to separate?

Acharya ji: And take the kid along.

Listener: The kid will live with at least one of them.

Acharya ji: Would one of them live and survive loneliness? No. That one of them, will surely, pull into his life, somebody else. It may not necessarily be somebody from the opposite sex. But that fellow is surely not going to live a vacuous, and vacant life. He would find something, to get involved in, because the fundamental, petty ego, remains the same, even after separation.

Separation does not transform the ego. Divorce is not enlightenment. Or is it? So you are still the same. Kid is still with one of these two fools. In fact, it might make it worse for the kid, because now there is nobody else to fight with. So the kid gets all the aggressive attention. You know, you can’t beat up he wife now. And the hand is itching. So, it’s the kid.

Divorce, and separation, are obviously not the solution.

Solution lies in basic, inner transformation.

And that inner transformation will become easier, if the parents see that they have some love for the kid. 

You know, sometimes it is easier to do for others, than for yourself. It is easier to say, “I will accept defeat, not because I feel like getting defeated, but for the sake of the kid.”

“For the sake of the child, I am prepared to accept the defeat.”

The important thing is to realise that it is not for no reason, that most of the world’s population, is already distorted, by the time it reaches adolescence.

This organisation has worked a lot, with teenagers and young people. And let me tell you, by the time a boy or a girl reaches seventeen, there is ninety-five percent chance that he or she is already a very difficult case, almost beyond redemption. Such is the distortion of psyche, that happens due to a bad childhood.

In fact, if there is one unpardonable crime, it is bad parenting. 

You are not even killing someone. You are disfiguring someone, and sentencing him, to live an entire life. How does it sound? It is like chopping off somebody’s limbs, and ensuring that he lives. And lives an entire life, without limbs.

In fact, it is probably possible to live an entire life without these physical limbs. But it is far worse, living an entire life, with a distorted mind. And the parents, and to some extent, the society and the education, they very badly distort the minds of young people.

And it is also something very curious, very regrettable, that often it happens, that the more ignorant a person is, the more desirous he is, of having kids. It is not always the case, but it is found very frequently.

In fact, if a proper scientific survey is done, may be a statistical correlation can be established. The ignorance quotient, will be directly proportional to the number of kids one has.

Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session:  Conflict among parents, and effect on child || Acharya Prashant (2019)


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Does love lie in action? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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Does love lie in action

Question: Can love be in action?

Acharya Prashant Ji:

Actions can be in love. Inaction can also be in love.

Love is far bigger than action and inaction.

In Love you act, in Love you don’t act.

In Love you act in one way, in love you act in totally different way.

In Love, you sometimes act as Shirin (the questioner). In Love, you sometimes act as somebody else.

In Love, it is not your name that is important. In Love, it is love that is important.

Sometimes you are a lover, sometimes you are a nanny. Love plays dice with your identities. Love makes a mockery of your names.

Somebody agrees.

(laughter)

Now, you are a learned scholar, and after a while you are a caretaker. Who are you?

Love does not allow you to remain anybody.

Love remains, all else is negotiable.

Sometimes you move left, and immediately you move right. Which action are you talking of? Any particular action? No, love is not there in any particular action.

Love is there, only in being particular about Love.

That was some applause!

So, Love shines forth in action, but not in any particular action.

Neither in any particular action, nor in absence of action.

In Love anything is possible, and to anybody, because you are no particular self in Love.

To be in love, is to see your face changed, and distorted, and beautified in the mirror, a thousand times a day. As if a smoke shield is covering your face, and when again that haze clears-off, you see a different face.

Who are you in Love?

Nobody, but the lover.

All other names come and go. All other actions too, come and go, because actions too are a function of the actor.

When the actor himself is appearing and disappearing, how can actions remain constant, and consistent. Therefore, Love appears like such a big madness. Not only are the actions changing, even the actor is changing.

But deep in the heart of these actors, is the one desire called ‘Love’. The faces are changing, the Heart is the same.

Some people mistake the changing faces for disloyalty.

Good luck to them!

Some people mistake the constancy in faces as fidelity.

Good luck to them as well!

What is it about faces that obsesses you so much?

How will you then Love the One, with no face, no particular face?

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Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: Does love lie in action? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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What is secularism? How to become secular? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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What is secularism How to become secular

Question: Acharya Ji, please tell us how we can keep a fine divide between the religious and the secular, and grow holistically as an individual and as a society?

Acharya Prashant Ji: There is no divide between the religious and the secular. True religion is about eliminating all divisions.

How are you trying to have a division between religiosity and secularism?

What do you mean by ‘Secularism’?

You mean that no person should be blinded by his creed or belief. No person should just turn unjust, or biased, or prejudiced, because of his ideological or religious inclinations.

But that which you are trying to achieve through Secularism, can actually be never achieved through Secularism, because this, that you are trying to achieve – an unbiased and just mind – is exactly what religion and only religion can deliver you.

So, Secularism is self-defeating.

You have to understand this.

When you say that you want a secular person, or a secular state, what is it that you want? You want someone who is not prejudiced, not blinded by belief, who can keep a distance between his duties and his conditioning, who must know what the right action to do is, in spite of what his religious condition is. Right?

You want a person who does the right thing, irrespective of whether he is a Hindu, or a Christian, or a Muslim, or whatever. Right? That’s what you want to achieve through secularism.

When you say that X is a secular person, what you mean is, that he is prepared to read the Quran, even if he is a Hindu. And that he is prepared to respectfully go to the Upanishads, even if he is a Muslim, right? When you say that a country Y is a secular state, what do you mean? You mean that in that country, people are not discriminated on the the basis of their professed religious association, right? If this is what you want, then you should be deeply religious.

Who teaches you equanimity? Religion.

In Secularism, you want to be equanimous. But who teaches you equanimity? Religion.

In Secularism, you want a certain detachment. But who teaches you detachment? Religion.

In Secularism, you want to be respectful towards divergent opinions. But who teaches you to be respectful towards divergent opinions? Religion.

In Secularism, you want not to hurt the other, even if the other is holding beliefs, that go against yours. But who teaches you ahinsa (non-violence)? Religion.

So, truly religious person, and only a truly religious person, can be secular in real terms.

In other words, if Secularism is dear to you, you will have to turn to Religion.

If Secularism is in strife with religiosity, it means both are misplaced. The Religiosity is fake, and the Secularism is shallow.

You need not teach a truly religious person to be secular. In fact, ‘secular’ is such a small and shallow word, in front of religion.

If one is deeply religious, truly religious, then one is not only secular, one is way-way beyond secular.

Secularism only wants you to tolerate differences.

True religion, celebrates differences.

So, when you will talk about Secularism to a truly religious person, he will laugh. He will laugh, not because he opposes Secularism. He will laugh because he has gone..beyond Secularism.

There is Communalism.

Higher than Communalism, is Secularism.

And much, much higher than Secularism, is Religiosity.

So, obviously you see, that Communalism and Secularism are at odds with each other. But, not Secularism and Religiosity. It is naive to say that Secularism and Religiosity, confront each other. No!

Shallow belief, shallow communalism, that is what is at odds with secularism.

Secularism is a short-term treatment. You have bigots on this side, you have bigots on that side. None of the sides is prepared to listen to the other. It is in this kind of an environment, that Secularism is irrelevant. Only in this kind of environment.

So seeing that there are just bigots all around, you say, “Alright, keep religion to your houses. On the street, everyone has to follow secular principles.” So only in a very-very poor quality environment, does Secularism has some place. In a truly Religious environment, secularism has no place.

In fact, a truly Religious environment is so much better than Secularism, that if you impose Secularism on a really religious place, it would be a deterioration of that place.

So, it is great if you are not communal. If you are not communal, you are probably secular.

Now if you are secular, and you want to do still better, then move into Religion. Then you would forget everything about Secularism.

You would have transcended Secularism. You would have entered into something far more joyful.

————————————————————————————————————–

Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: What is secularism? How to become secular? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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All that the mind knows is love || Acharya Prashant (2019)

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All that the mind knows is love

Question: Acharya Ji, Pranaam! How to understand the different states of mind?

What we are, is the mind always dwelling in fear and desire. Mind is always afraid of its death, as a deal for love to flower. But at the same time mind’s ultimate desire is – Love.

Kindly elaborate.

Acharya Prashant Ji: That is the human condition.

You have to see that all mental states are – one.

It doesn’t matter what the mind wants, it doesn’t matter which direction it chooses to go. It doesn’t matter whether it is burning in jealousy, or burning in affection. It doesn’t matter whether you call the mental state as ‘positive’, or ‘negative’.

All mental states can be called by just one name – ‘Love’.

Greed is love, fear is love, jealousy is love, disgust is love, violence is love, separation is love.

All mental states are nothing but different ways of describing your separation from the Source, from the Lord, from the Center, from the God, from the Truth.

It doesn’t matter what name you assign to That.

Are you getting it?

So these mental states that you have written, or quoted, are all pointing in the same direction. Let not vocabulary confuse you.

The difference in different mental states is just, at the level of description. Words are causing you to think that sometimes you are afraid, and sometimes you are not. When you are afraid, it is because you think that you will not be able to meet Him. When you are not afraid, then it is because you think that not being afraid will take you to Him. In either of the situations, your target, your desire, is just for Him.

Are you getting it?

Then you should ask: “If all goodness, and all badness is just the same, and differs only in name, the difference is only at the level of words, then why should one be good at all? Then you should all tell that why should one follow spirituality, why should one not remain just worldly.”

You should ask, “Acharya Ji, if all desires are desires of Him, then why should I not pursue my carnal desires? Why should I not pursue money, and prestige, and possessions, if even they are going to lead me to the same end?”

You may do that, but you have to factor in who you are.

I have said that it doesn’t matter what the colour, flavour, name, direction of the desire is. All desire is actually for the One only. So, I am saying that your question should be that – why should we reject certain desires?

To get the answer to this question, you have to look at your mortal condition. You are ‘mortal’, which means that you have limited time. Even when you are using the GPS, it often suggests multiple routes to a destination. All of the routes are valid routes. I am saying that take any of the routes, you will reach the same place. Even if you decide to stuff you life with material possessions, money, furniture, bungalows, property, car, real estate whatever, you would reach there.

But, which route do you choose, when the GPS shows you five competing routes? You choose the shortest route.

So, Spirituality is not the only route to God.

If someone says that Spirituality is the only route to God, then he doesn’t understand the mind.

Spirituality, is one of the routes to God.

It is just the shortest route.

And, the fact that it is the shortest route, is very-very important, because you are mortal.

Because your time is limited.

There are five routes from your place to the airport. If you do not choose the shortest route, there is a great chance that you will miss the flight.

Do not miss the flight!

There is the path of fear, there is the path of desire, and then there is the path of Love.

The destination is same.

Now make the right choice!

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Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: All that the mind knows is love || Acharya Prashant (2019)

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Worrying about results of work? || Acharya Prashant (2019)

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Worrying about results of work.jpg

Question: Acharya Ji, what does it mean when you say, “Do not worry about the results”?

Acharya Prashant Ji: Satyam (the questioner), when I say, “Do not bother about the results,” I am saying that with the condition that you are already, assuredly, doing the right thing.

I say, “Do the right thing, and do not bother about the result.”

I am saying, “Do the right thing, and do not bother about the results.”

But to those, who are not doing the right things, I say, “Look at the results of your actions.”

Jesus very clearly says, “A tree is known by the fruits it has.” You might by thinking that you are doing something selflessly. But how much do you know yourself? You are assuming that you are doing something selflessly, that your action is right. That is your assumption. It is needed that you must check this assumption, is it not?

Do you not want to enquire the veracity of your assumption? And how do you enquire into your assumption? By seeing what actions are leading to.

Are you getting it?

‘Do the right thing, and forget about the result’ – is the utmost and final condition.

‘Do the right thing, and forget about the result’- that condition is possible only to someone, who is already liberated of the future.

But those who are not liberated, those who have even an iota of doubt about the center from where there actions are arising, must use the results of the action, to know the source of the action.

The source of the action, and the result of the action, correspond with each other.

If the action comes from the center of Holiness, then the results are bound to be ‘Holy’.

If the actions come from the center of Nothingness, then the results are bound to be ‘Nothing’. 

Similarly, if the actions come from the center of vice, or deception, then the results are bound to be distressing.

You can deceive yourself about the source of your action, because only you know the source of your action. You are the declaring authority, and you can declare anything. You can commit the foulest of crimes, and say that this is being done with a holy purpose.

In fact, the foulest of crimes, have been mostly committed, citing holy purpose only. And it cannot be cross-verified. Nobody can peep into your interiors, and prove to you that you are operating from a wicked center. It cannot be demonstrated, because it is an internal thing, right?

What is it, however, that can be demonstrated, rather that which is not going to remain hidden? The results. So look at results. Even if you have successfully deceived yourself about the source of your action, the results will demonstrate to you, what the real source of your action was.

An action which has led to peacelessness, could not have come from the right source.

An action that leads to lovelessness, has definitely come from a loveless center.

So, do mind the results. The results will tell you where you are standing right now. Much later will you come to a point, from where you will not need to bother about the results.

That is Liberation!

Then you just are doing what the Heart commands. And the Heart knows no future. You are fully and firmly, settled in the Heart, so you too know no future.

But look at your current condition. Right now, are you someone who knows no future? No. Right now, you are not there.

So, do mind the results.

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Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: Worrying about results of work?|| Acharya Prashant (2019)

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What is love? || Acharya Prashant on Jiddu Krishnamurti (2018)

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what-is-love-jiddu-krishnamurti.jpg

Question: Dear master, Jiddu Krishnamurti says, “When you love, you are neither giving, nor receiving.” Acharya ji, does love have an object? Could you explain how can we love in daily life, without giving or receiving? What is love, if it has no object?

Acharya Prashant Ji: All objects are small, Shirin.

The object of love is so gigantic, that you cannot call it an ‘object’. Further, all objects leave ample space for you to remain. All objects leave space for the dualistic subject to remain, and prosper.

The object of love is so big, so total, so filling, so occupying, so unrelenting, so very compelling, that it leaves no space for the subject to hide and survive.

Obviously, if the subject is gone, who can call the object, an object. So, the object of love is a non-object. Those who have come before us, have called that object as – Truth, God, Beloved, Amma-Baba, Father, Maa.

Next you are asking, “How can one be in love without giving or receiving?” Giving and receiving, both imply your presence, and your activity. You have to be there to give, you have to be there to receive. And in both, your presence, your being, gets stamped, certified, further ascertained. In giving, you remain as the giver. In receiving, you strike roots as the receiver.

So, in love, there is neither giving nor receiving. Simply put, no doing of the doer. No-doing of the doer, is also the highest doing of the little doer. The highest of the little doer.

I give an example to you. I have heard of this little soldier, he was actually a civilian, in one of the wars in the last century. He was so small, he was not even trained as a soldier. His village had been invaded, the villagers had been captured, taken away for forced labour. They were being used to construct a bridge. That’s what the invading army was using the locals for, take them away and use their labour to build a bridge.

Now that the enemy has taken them away, they are with the enemy. And this little one could see a big ammunition depot. A big ammunition depot. You are already guessing it, right? There was not much, he could have done, all by himself. The enemy numbered in hundreds, hundreds of well-built, grown-up, trained soldiers, with firearms. What could the boy have done? But there was one thing that the boy could do, with a little bit of ingenuous engineering. He rammed himself into the depot, and blew the entire depot off. Obviously, nothing of him remained. But, it took down the entire non-sense with him.

So, Shirin, that’s love- attempting the impossible. The task is so damn big, that it can’t be done, if you protect yourself. If you protect yourself, it won’t happen. That’s love.

Excuse me for giving a violent analogy. But he, who has a lot of bloodshed, he is indeed involved in love. Love does involve a lot of demolition. And there are fireworks. And things come down. Great structures collapse. Formidable enemies have to be defeated. All that is love.

You want something beyond your size, you want something beyond your measure.

And it will require all of you to get that.

If you care for your safety, if you care for your survival, it just can’t happen.

That’s love.

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Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session: What is love? || Acharya Prashant on Jiddu Krishnamurti (2018)

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Acharya Prashant on ‘International Women’s Day’

W1.001

THE REVOLUTION MUST ARISE FROM THE WOMAN!

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As long as the woman keeps thinking that her body is an asset, there is no freedom for her.

As long as the woman keeps thinking that the freedom is about flaunting her body, there is no freedom for her.  

The woman is the more oppressed of the two genders and therefore, the revolution must arise from the woman. Read more

How To Bring About A Total Women’s Revolution?

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women-revolution-2.jpg

Question: Acharya Ji, how to bring women’s revolution?

What does it mean to be a woman? A lot that is hurtful. Why must one keep bearing the hurt? One bears the hurt because one is drawing certain comforts. The hurt is deep and lasting, the comforts are cheap. The comforts, like the hurts, are both – physical and psychological.

There has to be a total revolution in the way, the woman looks at herself.

She cannot be a creature of the nest.

As long as the nest exists, the woman would be exploited.

With females in the animal kingdom, the nest is possible. The nest works because animals are just biological or at least mostly biological. They are not governed predominantly by social forces. Prakrati governs them. And so, if Prakrati dictates the female animal to have a nest, it works. Animal female is an animal, born an animal, dies an animal, is not ambitious, lives just fulfilling her Prakratik roles. The animal male is too just an animal, is born an animal, dies an animal and has no ambition beyond his Prakratik mandate to conquer or exploit.   

But man is not merely biological, man is social as well. And man has a social mandate to conquer, exploit. He exploits everything, he exploits Prakrati, and that’s what you call development. Don’t you? He exploits his intellect, and that you call as ‘knowledge’. Don’t you? And this man will exploit everything. And you feel greatly happy, when man exploits everything. Why will the man not exploit the woman? No animal is supposed to exploit, but man is supposed to exploit. Is he not?

Man exploits the earth to get minerals, man exploits the earth to get crops.  Man exploits everything that he can. And that is not considered really immoral. In fact we reward those who are the most clever exploiters. If you can exploit the atom to get energy, you feel so happy. Don’t you? The atom, in its own Prakratik way was not eager to supply you energy. But you took the atom and said, “I am in need of energy because I am ambitious, because I want more comfort. So, I will exploit this atom and get energy.” And if you can break open the atom and get energy, you feel happy and you respect and reward those, who do all these things.

So, if man gets recognition, respect and reward for exploiting, why would the men spare the women, or even the women spare the men? But the woman, the human female, is biologically conditioned to have a nest, just as the animal female is. But for the animal female, the nest is the end of the story. Nothing happens beyond that. The nest is made, the young ones are there, and then the rest of the Prakratik story unfolds, and that’s it. In humans, there is society beyond biology. So, if the woman is in the nest, that gives an opportunity to the man to exploit her even more.

The male bird will not exploit the female bird, when she cannot fly, because she is taking care of the eggs or the young ones. The male bird would not exploit her then. But in humans, the male is likely to exploit the female, when she is sitting in the nest to take care of the little baby.

The woman will have to go beyond her biological self.

The nest is the expression of the woman’s biological self.

As long as there is the nest, the woman would keep getting exploited.

Unfortunately, the woman is still thinking that the nest is her asset, that the nest is her protective cocoon.

The nest is not your friend; the nest is not your fortress. The nest is your cage. The man is just indifferent to the nest. The woman should be repugnant to the nest. Instead, the woman is the one, who seeks the nest. And when a human female is seeking a nest, she is only seeking a prison. Man does not rebel against the nest, man is just indifferent. Right? If there is nest, man says, “Okay, I will come.” If there is no nest, man is okay with the hotel room. Man is okay with even the hostel, man is prepared sometimes to sleep under the sky, beneath a tree.

It is the woman, who demands the nest.

The woman would have to actively rebel against the nest.

As long as there is the nest, the woman will remain chained.

Ironically, the woman is the one, who clamors for the nest.

If there is a relationship, it would be the woman, who would keep asking actively , “Darling, when are we getting married?” And after the marriage, she will be the one who will keep pestering, when will we have a house of our own.

The woman is her own worst enemy because she is very- very biology driven. Man too is biology driven but he abides by his intellect too. He abides by his intellect much more than the woman does. The woman is extremely biological.

And that is beautiful in some sense, because if you are not biological then you are probably intellectual, and the intellect is a bigger curse than it is a boon. The woman is simpler, more innocent.

I would dare to say that – the woman is simple and innocent, just as animals are, because woman, just as animals, is biology driven. She is emotional and her emotions do not really arise from understanding, not even from intellect. Her emotions arise from her body, from her biological conditioning, from her hormones. Look at the way she is attached to the baby. That does not involve any understanding. All that is pure biology, hormones. Man has no such chains. Man has no such compulsions.

It is biology that confines, and chains, and imprisons the woman.

As long as the woman keeps herself identified, with her body, the nest and biology, there is no freedom for her.

As long as the woman keeps thinking that her body is an asset, there is no freedom for her.

As long as the woman keeps thinking that the freedom is about flaunting her body, there is no freedom for her.  

The woman is the more oppressed of the two genders, and therefore, the revolution must arise from the woman.

Woman by rebelling against the body, will be the harbinger of the revolution that will liberate the entire mankind – women and men, both included.

But if you will ask me between these two genders, which one is likely or which one rather must initiate the revolution, I would say, the woman. Because, the woman is more oppressed of the two. Once the revolution begins, obviously the man too will be liberated.

But just as a woman gives birth to a man, woman will also need to give birth to the freedom of man. Man will not be able to give birth to his own freedom. Freedom too will be borne out of the woman. That does not seem to be happening. Woman remains terribly body-identified. And that which you call as ‘modernity’, or ‘liberation’, or even ‘feminism’, is unfortunately even more body-centric. It’s just that now the body-centricity is a little hidden.

There is only one way to go beyond the body, and that is the way of Truth, the way of Spirituality. All other ways go from the body to the body. So, you can go from veiling to revealing, but you are just going from the body to the body. What were you veiling? The body. And now what are you revealing? The body.

All these great liberation movements have taken you from the body to the body. So, there is no liberation at all, you are just being cheated and fooled. The only way, the women can be liberated, is the spiritual way, the spiritual route. Ahhh! Now that sounds so old fashioned. Doesn’t it? In fact, you would love to say that religion is the curse of woman, that using religion, the woman has been confined and oppressed and what not. But all that was false religion. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

If the woman can be saved, it is only through true Spirituality because Spirituality alone can take you out of your body identification.

The body, the hormones, the maternity, the nest, as long as these remain important to the women, no liberation, no liberation at all.

And when her body will cease to be important for her, the man too will cease to be important for her.

Man rides upon woman, enslaves woman, because the man is very important for the woman.

Woman may not be the center of the man’s world, but go to most women and you will find that man is the center of woman’s world.

It is quite strange.

If you want to test this, go and conduct an experiment. Test it. What is the woman thinking of? Her thoughts are much more biologically driven. What is she thinking of? Once she has become the mother, she is thinking of the kids. The wife thinks more of husband’s welfare, than the husband thinks of wife’s welfare. Isn’t that a general rule? The wife is ready with the dinner and the husband often does not return in time. Now, who has been thinking more about the other? The wife. And all this has been taken as her humanity, her kindness. She has been called as ‘motherly’, and ‘nurturing’, and she has been venerated, deity-fied, praised.

Don’t take that respect, that veneration, by being turned into a deity.

You are being confined within four walls of the temple.

Don’t accept that.

The man should not be at the center of woman’s world.

By the way, if the men want to rule over the women, let them rule. Let the men keep thinking of the women, the women must be independent of the men. I know, that is not easy. I know, I am asking something close to impossible, but that is the only way out.

Women will have to stop giving men so much importance. The importance that a woman gives to her body, her biology, her nest and man, are all one. Is there a nest without a man? The woman does not build the nest for herself. She builds it for herself, and her man. If you will go and figure out the fact of loneliness, it is the woman who is more susceptible to loneliness. Men make merry even in the company of men. You will find boys’ gang going all over, all around. A group of six boys having fun, but rarely would you find a group of six girls having fun. They need men. Six girls are not happy together. Six boys on the contrary can be very happy together.

The woman needs man, and that’s what keeps her bonded.

We need girls’ gangs.

We need girls’ communes.

We need women to be alright with themselves. We don’t want women to be emotionally dependent, or biologically dependent on men. We don’t want a woman to seek a man to complete her identity. We don’t want the woman to seek a man to complete her name.

Are you getting this?

If you say that you are a mother, what are you always looking for? Looking for a child. And when you are not a mother, you are a wanna-be mother. If you are a wanna-be mother, then you are always looking for the husband, and his sexual power. And you are saying, “I am dependent on you. My womb is empty and waiting. Come, fill it up. My nest is so lonely without you.”

And a lot of that is done, just in the name of Mamta. The women is such a perpetual mother, she is a mother even to the husband. She begins as the girl-friend and ends as the mother. Six months, she remains as girl-friend, one year as a wife, rest of the life, she is a mother to everybody. And she finds great pride in declaring that.

If she has a son and a daughter, she will say, I have three kids. And all three behave in the same way. They are dependent on me, they suck upon me. I prepare food for all. I wash everybody’s clothes; there is no difference between the kids and the husband. As long as you take your biological-role seriously, you will remain in chains. And your biological role confines you to the nest. Mark the nest, that’s your enemy. That’s the enemy. But you take that as your security cordon. You say, “Within this, I am so safe. Within this, I don’t have to experience the dirt, and the harsh sun.” Chill? No.

Get out of the nest, hit the road.

The nest! Nothing else – the nest!

I don’t know, Shilpi whether I have answered you, and Parmeshwari, you too.

Getting it?

Never get married into a home. Never get married into a family. Never become a queen of the bedroom or a kitchen, or the entire house. Just the nest or parts of the nest. And don’t be so identified with the damn eggs. All the time concerned with the eggs, the eggs, the eggs.

Look at what the market says, when it talks of women. Are there books specific to the women? But look at the advertisements. What are they selling, when it comes to the women? Stuff related to the eggs, and the body. Man might even be sold frequent flyer programs, because he travels a lot. But woman is always targeted to sell the lip gloss, the bra and egg paint. Why aren’t the airlines targeting you to sell their frequent flyer programs, I ask you. Why don’t you fly away? Fly away from the nest, that’s your only chance.

Cars are being sold and the target customer is man, and the woman is being used to sex up the car. Very few car companies are targeting to sell cars to women. Such an insult it is. No car manufacturer thinks that an entire model can be brought out to serve the needs of the women. But the woman is always present in the car advertisement. And what is she doing there? Displaying the curves. And the manufacturer is saying, “My car is as curvy as this woman. All the men, come over.”

Be the user of the car, not the doll in the car.

Learn to be on the driver’s seat, not on the rear seat or the seat next to the driver. Learn to hold the steering, get out of your nest. And don’t be so damn particular about your sexuality and virginity, and what else – all body stuff, my biggest asset is my eye brows, and lips and curves and virginity. Now what do you expect from the life? What else will you get, except bondages and imprisonment?

Knowledge must be your asset, strength must be your asset, exposure must be your asset, money must be your asset and overall, Truth must be your asset.

Not your breasts and hips.

You spend so much of time pandering to the needs of the body.

Spend time enriching yourself, spend time gaining knowledge, spend time skilling yourself.

Why do we find so few women in science?

Out of the list of the 800-900 Noble laureates, why are there so few women?

Why are so few women in the science laboratories in the world?

Where are they in politics, in sports, at least in the developing countries?

Where are they in literature, in all ways of creativity?

I will tell you, where they are. They are in the nest.

When man is busy creating a new machine, the woman is busy looking after her eggs. Now who will rule and who will be the slave? Tell me. Tell me. And unfortunately, the woman is preparing herself, just to receive the man. The woman is actually more self-less than the man. She is the finer product of evolution than man. So, the man will be busy enhancing his business or creating a new machine, and the woman would be busy taking care of the house and cooking food for the man. Now man has done everything for his own personal development, he will be called as the ruler of the business empire. And what is the woman doing? Doing the man’s laundry and cooking his dinner.

And he returns more and more empowered everyday because eight-ten hours of the day, he is working in his self-interest. He is working to gain money, working to gain respect, power, strength. And what is the woman doing all this while? Taking care of the eggs, doing the laundry, doing the meals. And then she expects that the man will be honest and kind enough to grant her an equal status. Why this exploitative man, as man is defined to be, why will this man grant her an equal status? Why? The man is the king and pardon me for being harsh, you are just his concubine.

You may call yourself as ‘the queen’ but you are not. A harlot you are. The king can throw you away, whenever he pleases. Be less emotional, the emotion is the woman’s undoing. Don’t weep so frequently, mind those tears. You think, your tears are your strength? They are your biggest weakness. Curse yourself for weeping out. Stay strong. Don’t give in to the emotional traps.

The man says, “Darling, why do you have to work. You stay at home, I will work. You take care of the bed, of the eggs, of the babies, and your mother-in-law. I will bring in the booty and obviously, you have equal rights over that. My money is your money,” never accept this temptation. His money is never your money. Never ever try to think that his money is your money. If you don’t earn anything, then you are a beggar, and that’s all. Full stop. He might be earning millions, but if you don’t earn anything of your own, you don’t earn anything. Full stop. Emotions, tears, biology, nest – that’s the woman’s world. And she is so easy to fool. So easy to fool. The man has been forever fooling the woman, and the woman still doesn’t want to wake-up.

One feels like worshiping the woman for enduring so much. One feels like worshiping the woman for being so willingly exploited. And one feels like slapping her hard in the face, for being so stupid. Her own worst enemy, she is.

Talk emotions to her and she will be pleased. Talk sense to her, and she will be offended. Truth is often rough and blunt and harsh. Tell the Truth to her, and she feels – he doesn’t love me. And offer her emotional sweeties, and you will be the best friend she ever had. I personally have so much trouble with women. So difficult to teach her. And if you somehow manage to teach them a little, they become emotional.

I know lot of what I have said, is a sweeping generalization, but still it is very pertinent and applicable. Don’t just dismiss what I am saying as ‘stereotyping’. I might be stereotyping, yet what I am saying is relevant for a great majority of men and women.

What is this thing with long hair? Why must you keep long hair? I am asking you. So that men has ease in pulling your hair and controlling you by your hair. You are already physically weaker and then, you have long tail up here. Anybody can hold your tail and control you. Even a ten year old boy can defeat you by just using your tail. But women won’t live without long hair. And I never understand this.

So I said, “If you will not cut your hair, I will grow mine.” But we cannot accept this duality – men will have short ones and women will have long ones. I said, “I will grow mine, let’s see.” But here again biology is defeating me, my hair don’t grow half as long as yours. I never get a haircut, but the hair only come to my shoulders. Your hair, go right down to your butt. As if biology itself is conspiring to keep the women chained.

What is this thing with make-up? What is this? What do you mean by make-up? Spirituality is all about giving up things that are made-up. And you are always making up. Only the false is made up. And what not, silicone implants, false bras, false eye brows, what else is there. The thing that removes the wrinkles, Botox

The entire time is being spent in this non-sense. I don’t know the details, but there is so much, you can read all that, on the menus of the salon. This treatment, that treatment and God knows how expensive they are. From where all that money is coming? Mostly from the men. And if it is not coming from the men, it is your own hard-earned money, then it is even worst. Tell this to the women in the beauty parlour, and they will pull your little hair out.

The body, the nest, be very cautious about that.

Men too have to be cautious about this, but women have to be supremely cautious.


Watch Full Discourse: How to bring about a Total Women’s revolution? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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Answer to “Acharya Ji, I am afraid of you and don’t trust you.” || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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answer

Question: Acharya Ji, I am afraid of you. The reasons are:

First reason is that of authority.  

And second reason is I want something from you and there is no total trust in you.

And I am afraid of that being found out.

Is there more to it?

Acharya Prashant: You are not afraid of authority. It’s just that you are trusting and investing in wrong authority. You have become your own authority and  that’s not really a good authority to bank upon.

It’s not authorities that you resist.

It’s just that you don’t know, who the right authority is.

Aren’t you following somebody? Whom do you follow?

There is an authority.

Is that authority trustworthy?

Inquire. Inquiry is the way. You don’t need to have trust on me or something. Just pay attention. Trust can sometimes blind people. So, better listen. I never never ask people to agree. In fact, if somebody agrees, I take that as a red sign. I just ask them to listen.

Question: It’s also a sort of admission and it has a question attached to it.

I had a insight after which any question that arises inside my head is basically exposes ego trip. Every single question is an ego trip, which prevents me from asking it. All the questions that I have asked so far in this particular camp have been largely ego trips because I want to elevate my status in your eyes and in the eyes of everybody present here.

So, I am aware of that these questions are ego trips and something inside me just says that its futile, questioning in that sense. But listening to you is a different ball game. So, how do I reconcile the situation?

Acharya Prashant: You don’t need to do anything, you are just getting unnecessarily excited. Something nice is happening with you, and that’s getting you just too excited, like a boy. A boy are you. Nice things are happening, let them happen. Why do you want to say something about it?

There is no need to say all this.

Question: Because every single thing that I do, every single thing not just questioning, the way that I am sitting right now,  whatever I do is exposes ego trip.

Acharya Prashant: That’s all right, fine. So, what?

You see, I saw a movie. There was this lady, waiting for a beloved. And she has been waiting since long, long, long. And every time, there is a faint knocks on the door, she rushes to the door and tries to see, who has come. And one night, there is this knock, she goes, and she sees that the beloved is standing, and she is so awestruck that she forgot to open the door. She is so damn excited, that she runs back to the bedroom and hides her face in the pillow.

You are just too excited.

Open the door and let it remain ajar. You have been waiting for something since very long, now that you get a glimpse of it, you are getting worked-up.

There is no need to get worked-up.

It’s easy, it could have happened anytime, it’s a coincidence that it’s happening right now. Nothing extremely special is happening.

Relax.

Question: I want something from you, and if I don’t trust you fully, I feel I have been dishonest to you.

Acharya Prashant: That’s the best you can do.

Why are you overestimating yourself?

We all want God; but do we ever trust Him fully?

But still we want Him.

That’s the best we can do. Fine.

Do you ever trust Him fully?

You trust, forget god, do you trust peace, or awareness or whatever?

You don’t. But still you want that, don’t you?

It’s ok, that’s the best the boy can do.

Do your best, and your best would be relative to yourself. In the absolute sense, even your best is no good. Your best, remember, can at best, bring you to the 99th floor. Which is ok, relative to the 50th floor, 99th floor is better. In terms of the absolute, 99th floor, doesn’t matter. It’s ok.

Do your best.

That’s is your utter honesty.

You can’t be honest beyond a point.  It’s beyond you to be honest beyond a point, and so it is alright. After all, right now you take yourself to be a creature of the floors. So, your honesty is also going to be limited. Like everything else, in the domain of the floor. Everything there is small and limited, so even honesty is also going to be small and limited. So it’s ok.

Offer ‘your’ best, offer ‘your’ best.

‘The best’ is not going to be possible for you.

Offer ‘your’ best and then probably ‘the best’ might come.

Just do, I repeat, which is ‘your’ best, which is just a relative thing. If you are on the 2nd floor, your best is to move to the 3rd floor, if you are on the 80th floor, your best is to move to the 81st floor. And that’s your only responsibility that is the definition of dharma.

If you are on the 2nd floor, the dharma is to move to 3rd floor, not top floor. If you are on the 2nd floor, dharma is to move to 3rd floor. That’s it. Full stop. So, it’s easy.

Question: Can we also say that, we are a bit selfish?

Acharya Prashant: What do you mean by that?

Question: Selfish as in if I have doubts, forget about doubts, if you know that this is going to benefit you…

Acharya Prashant: Just listen.

Doubts are neither to be patronized nor be suppressed. Just keep them aside for a while and watch.

Question: Is it so that discipline includes jap, pranayam, path seva, dhyan, and satvik aahar (Jap, pranayam, reading scriptures, serving people,attention, observation, eating good food)?

Patanjali Yoga Sutra is about discipline, it requires lot of efforts. I am more into listening and understanding. Is that sufficient Acharya Ji?

Acharya Prashant: Yes, it is sufficient. All that Patanjali says, is something that he is saying, right? And you listen to Patanjali, don’t you?

The same thing is happening here. It’s just that he presents to you, nicely, structured and codified system of teachings, so you know what he is saying, yam, niyam, dhyan, asan, pratyahar, pranayam, samadhi, you know all those things.

It’s a nice system that he has given you. Same thing happens here as well. Just as you listen to Patanjali, listen here as well.

Even with Patanjali, what would be needed?

Listening.

Similarly, listen here as well.


Excerpts from a Shabda-Yoga Session. Edited for Clarity.

Watch Full Discourse: Answer to “Acharya Ji, I am afraid of you and don’t trust you.” || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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How to recover from a break-up? || Acharya Prashant (2017)

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Question: I am a person, who is very sensitive and emotional and that’s why I easily gets hurt. It’s been two months, since I have a break-up with a guy and I am just not able to move on. It’s affecting me a lot. I didn’t want this to happen even though, I never expected this from him. It has broken me completely from the inside.

I have lost myself, I have lost my mental peace and I feel so lonely and incomplete without him. And it is even more painful, when I see that guy look some other girl. I still want him in my life although, now I know that it is not possible because he has completely moved on. What should I now do, because it’s harming me and my career and my future?

Acharya Prashant: You are saying it has broken you completely from the inside.

No, you are lying.

Had you been completely broken from inside, then there would have been nobody left inside to experience the hurt.

What you call the inside, is just the ego inside. And the ego is the very magical thing. It becomes stronger, when gets hurt. It is not as if it loses its power, when it gets hurt.

The more you hurt it, the more strength it gathers. So, first of all, please understand that you have a lot inside. A lot that has become only more cemented, more solidify after this episode.  Had you been really empty from inside, who would have received the hurt. The arrow hits you, only when you block the arrow. Right?

Otherwise, it goes past you.

What is it within you that is blocking the happening?

You are hurt because you do not like happening. Your resistance is hurting you. An arrow comes to you, you obstruct it with your hand. It is the obstruction that you offer that will pierce your hand. Right?

You do not offer any obstruction to the arrow, the arrow just passes through by. Why are you obstructing the happening?

The fellow has moved on, and the population of the world is 800 crore, he is with another girl, now why are you begging after him? What will you get from him?

Crumps of love?

You want love as donation, charity?

And even if that is given to you, would that satisfy you?

And if you are so dear to you, why was not there much compatibility? Why did break-up happen?

And if you are you, and he is what he is, then won’t the break-up happen again?

You insist on remaining who you are, that is why you are hurt.

You insist on remaining, who you are that is why you want that guy back?

But if you insist to remain, who you are, you won’t be able to retain the guy. Are you prepared to really change? Are you prepared to not to be the one who experience that attraction?

No, that we do not want to do because probably, you have some sweet and happy memories.

So, at least you do not want to be the one who is experiencing all the suffering. All the hard ones. Right? And that is why I have asked this question. You don’t want to be continuously any more in misery. And if you don’t want to be any more in misery, stop being who you are. You have seen the consequence of who you are and still you don’t want to wake-up.

Do you know who you are?

You are the one, who will accept this guy if he comes back to your life.

Do you know, who you are?

You will again have a quarrel with this guy.

Do you know who you are?

You are the one, who will again have a break-up and again who will shed tears, when the guy goes away. You want to remain caught in this cycle.

Please, do not remain caught in this cycle. Guys come and go. There is nobody more important than your own peace.

You do not want a person, so that he may cause you disturbance. When you want a person, you actually want peace and contentment through that person. Don’t you? Or do you invite a person to your life so that he may harass you? Why do you open your doors to somebody?

Because that person promises to be the vehicle of contentment, peace. Right?

You very well know, what you open your doors to. Are you opening your doors to contentment?

Contentment has more value than any relationship. Relationships are a medium, contentment is the end. Relationships are mere mediums. There are like roads, they must lead to contentment. They must contain contentment. If there is no contentment in the relationship, why do you want that relationship?

The quality of your love depends on the quality of your lives. Your love affair cannot be a sublime thing, if your life is mired in littleness. We all want our love affairs to be fairy tales and we don’t look at our lives. We are little bit afraid, desires, ambitious, suspicious. That’s how we live. Now, how can you have a fairy-tale affair?

Who is this lover that you will attract to?

What is the quality of your being?

Who will be attracted to this being?

Please, you look at these pictures (referring to the portraits of Saints hanged on the wall), who would be the woman, these men would attract to them? What would be the quality of relationship? If they were marrying, would they be compatible with any woman on the road?

Think of a Ashtavakra, Nanak, Kabir, a Buddha, a Mahaveer. Some of them were married. Imagine that others were also married. Now think of their spouses. Think of their wives. What kind of a man, a Lalleshwari would have as a husband, she indeed did had a husband could she go around with him?

At the age of 22, she splits.

If you live like a petty one, you will only invite a petty being to your lives. And then there would be more sufferings, more sufferings. What is the point in remaining caught in this cycle?

Elevate yourself.

Transform yourself.

And then see who comes to you, then you will know what love really is.


Watch the session: How to recover from a break-up? || Acharya Prashant (2017)

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Acharya Prashant: What is the ultimate purpose of life? || (2017)

T30

Question: As the years go by many of us remain confused about the ‘Goals of Life.’ I would like to be guided about the ‘Ultimate purpose of Life.’

~ Colonel S. D. Joshi

Acharya Prashant: But we have had purposes throughout our Life. Is there ever a purposeless moment in one’s Life. One is always driven by purpose.

You are going to the market to buy a vegetable, you have a purpose. You are going to your office, you have a purpose. Even if you embracing a stranger, you still have a purpose. Even if you are smiling at a kid, you still have a purpose.

Rare is the one who can even kiss purposelessly. 

We are very purposed human beings. 

You know what purpose is, benefit. What will I get from this? Do you ever do anything without a purpose? So Life has always been ‘purpose driven.’ You are asking, what is the ‘Ultimate purpose of Life?’ That question can be asked only if firstly the futility of all other purposes is seen.

Life has been a series of purposes. Parallel purposes, contradictory purposes, conflicting purposes, but purposes nevertheless. One doesn’t take a step purposelessly, that is the curse of our Life. The question ‘why?’ is always present.

If You tell someone, you are going to someplace what is the first thing that you are asked? Why? And what does ‘why?’ mean?

Read more

Acharya Prashant: About changing one’s religion for love

T24

Question: Can I change ‘my’ religion for the sake of someone I Love?

Acharya Prashant: What do you mean by religion?

If religion just means following a particular code of conduct, if it means that I am loyal to a particular book, if it means that such and such will be my pilgrimage centers; If that is what is religion, then this religion is just something that you have been conditioned to believe in, it is just a belief system! And belief systems come and go.

Today you can believe in one thing, tomorrow you can believe in something else. These beliefs anyway have no permanency. They don’t have a deep root. Because these have been externally implanted. They are not coming from a very depth, the very soil of the mind. So, they can change. That is how people keep on changing their religions. Every year, lakhs of people change their religion. These religions that can be changed, they anyway don’t have any worth.

But that is not the true meaning of religion.

Real religion cannot be changed.

What you can change is your cult or your sect, ‘panth’, that can be changed. ‘Dharm’ cannot be changed.

Because there are no different religions.

True religion is just one.

How will you change it? There is no second religion.

Where will you go? Yes, there are many sects. There are thousands of sects, but there is only one True religion. And that religion is not about the following something. That religion is not about visiting a temple or a church or a mosque. That religion is not about being loyal to a particular book.

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Acharya Prashant, with students: How to have confidence in oneself?

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Question: I don’t have confidence in myself. How to gain it?

Acharya Prashant: The question comes from an extreme – “I do not have confidence in myself.” But surely, this question addresses a pain that all experience in varying degrees, on various occasions.

There is nobody who does not feel short of confidence at one point or another. There are many, who keep feeling perpetually short. There are others, who feel confident most of the time, but find that their confidence is deserting them often when they need it.

You say you want ‘confidence’ in yourself. You want confidence in yourself only when you are in doubt. When things are just flowing smoothly, is there need for confidence? When there is no fear, is there need for confidence?

Confidence is a medicine.

Confidence is not your natural state.

Just as, medicine is not health. When you feel sick, then you ask for medicine and the role of medicine should be to make itself unnecessary. You do not want to have a medicine that you will perpetually need. What you must rather perpetually have, is a normal and ordinary state of health. What you must normally have is a state of fearlessness, in which confidence is not needed at all.

If you are requiring confidence, it means that something has already gone wrong.

Now, do you want to cover up what has gone wrong? Or do you want to directly address what has gone wrong? Because if the wrong stays wrong, then you will keep on needing confidence more and more, and more frequently.

When you are addressing your friends, do you require confidence? No! But when you are making a public presentation, then you require confidence. Do you notice that? When you are with your family members, do you require confidence? Hardly ever! But when you are in front of an interviewer, then you say that you require confidence.

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Acharya Prashant: The fallacy of expression of love

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Acharya Prashant: In matters of Love and all these things, you want the other person to be ‘nice.’

We are such idiots, we want the other person to be ‘nice.’ And if the other person is not nice, we feel, there is no Love.

We have no capacity to see where the whole thing is coming from. We do not see anything. We do not understand anything. And by anything, I mean absolutely anything. Black is white and white is black.

We are ready to give up our Life probably somebody comes and says two sweets words to us. Oh! he is my friend. Why? Because he talks sweetly and we do not realize that the sweet talk maybe so poisonous because we see only the actions, because we see only the actions, the words. He comes and hugs me and then he says, ‘baba how are you? Nice!’

And because I am already living at the surface, I am alright with that. I do not want to offend him. And he asks something, I will give.

But there is another one who admonishes, who chastises, who calls a spade, a spade, who is terribly real. And I’ll say, this fellow is my enemy because he tells me that I am an idiot. You have cancer. The doctor is telling you, you have cancer. Is he your friend or enemy?

Listener: Friend.

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Acharya Prashant: How to choose the right partner for marriage?

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Acharya Prashant: Companionship is wonderful. Be with one person, ten persons, anybody who helps your mind be centred. Being with such a person or a group of persons is wonderful. If marriage is another name for beautiful companionship, marriage is wonderful.

But, what matters is not the social institution of marriage, but the fact that you are with someone. And when you are with someone, the presence of that someone will necessarily have an effect upon you and vice-versa. You must know the effect that the other’s presence has upon you. If someone’s presence has a becalming effect on your mind, soothing effect on your mind, illuminating effect on your mind, liberating effect on your mind, go ahead. Boldly be with that person or persons as much as you want to.

But be with them only as long as their effect upon you is liberating. And be with them only as long as you do not become dependent on them, neither do they become dependent on you. It has to be a mutually healthy relationship. Not a relationship in which you enter because of sexuality or loneliness or social pressure.

You already have enough troubles, right?

You don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom, do you?

But yes, if someone can bring joy and truth to you, invite them right into your heart. And then marriage is inconsequential. With the right person, you marry, wonderful, you don’t marry, wonderful. And with the wrong person, you marry, bad luck, you don’t marry, bad luck.

What do you think?

Only married people have troubles?

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Acharya Prashant: Is it selfish to love oneself first?

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Questioner: Is it love to take care of myself and my belongings?

Acharya Prashant: Yes, it is love to take care of yourself; but to take care of anything you must know what that thing is. Can you take care of a car engine without knowing the engine? Can you take care of anything without knowing what that thing is?

Yes, love is about taking care of yourself; but really taking care of yourself, you must first know what your real problems are, you must know what you really want, you must first know what keeps you afraid, nervous, alert, and then you will be able to take care of yourself. and yes that is love.

Q: Is it not selfishness to love myself only and not the rest of the world?

AP: What do you mean by myself?

If your definition of myself separates you from the world, then this self that is separate from the world is anyway not worth loving. If your definition of love is that you and world are separate entities then this you is anyway not worth loving because this is not the real you.

First of all, figure out who you are and what your relationship with the world is, then you would be able to answer the question, ‘Whether it is possible to love yourself while simultaneously being indifferent to the world?’

It is not at all possible!

If you really love yourself while being apathetic to the world, that self-concept which places you as separate from the world is a flawed concept like all concepts.

That concept will only lead to violence.

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Acharya Prashant on Jesus Christ and Sage Ashtavakra: The world is a river; use it to cross it

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Acharya Prashant: Two excerpts are with us.

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.”

BIBLE

(JOHN 2:15)

“Prosperity, pleasure, pious deeds. Enough! In the dreary forest of the world, the mind finds no rest.”

ASHTAVAKRA GITA

(CHAPTER 10: VERSE 7)

The questioner says that he is astounded at the commonality between Jesus and Ashtavakra and asks why are both saying that engaging in the world will not be a way to peace. What does it mean to engage in the world?

The world is a tricky thing. The world has to be understood.

The world has utility but the world is not the end.

One uses it.

Ever seen a man swimming? What is he doing? Why is he swimming at all? He is crossing a river. Man is swimming. Man is crossing the river. Why is he crossing the waters? Because if he doesn’t cross the waters, he will drown in the waters. If he doesn’t cross the waters or the river, he will drown in the river.

And what is he doing to cross the water? He is using the waters themselves.

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Acharya Prashant on Khalil Gibran: You know your real face, and your real home?

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“Your life, my friend,

is a residence far away from any other

residence and neighbours.

Your inner soul is a home far away from

other homes named after you.

If this residence is dark,

you cannot light it with your neighbour’s lamp;

If it is empty you cannot fill it

with the riches of your neighbour;

Were it in the middle of a desert, you could not move it to a

garden planted by someone else…

Your inner soul, my friend,

is surrounded with solitude and seclusion.

Were it not for this solitude and this seclusion

you would not be you and I would not be I.

If it were not for that solitude and seclusion,

I would, if I heard your voice, think myself to be speaking;

Yet, if I saw your face, I would imagine that I were looking into a mirror.”

~ Khalil Gibran

Acharya Prashant: Poets have a way, of presenting the Truth. The way helps. The way is beautiful. But as happens with all ways to the Truth, the way itself is a bit of a hindrance to the destination.

What Khalil Gibran is saying here, is essentially very straightforward. The inner seclusion and solitude that he is talking of, is nothing, but your calm, peaceful, silent, immovable, center.

Seated at that center, with the calmness, the immovability, of the center, vested in the mind as well; the mind gains intelligence, the mind gains discretion.

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Acharya Prashant on Veganism: Vedas and Milk

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Question: Acharya Ji, there are people who quote the Vedas and say “A Hindu is a good Hindu only if he drinks milk from the mother cow.” What is your take on that?

Acharya Prashant: See if you have named the Vedas, what is the central teaching of all the Vedic literature?

If you want to really know what the Vedic teaching is, you will have to go to the Upanishads. The Upanishads are called the “Vedanta”, which means the summit or the climax of Veda. And they go into the reality of man. What is the reality of man? The Upanishads are very forthright and unequivocal about it. They say, “Man is the Truth itself (Aham Brahmasmi).” Nothing else except the Truth. You are the ultimate finality. You are the total.

Now, if this is the position that the Vedic literature takes, then one cannot operate from a point of incompleteness, hollowness or desirousness. A lot of what we do, please see we do just in order to gain fulfillment. We say that the purpose of human Life is progress, don’t we? And we asses a human being according to how much he has been able to progress and contribute to progress.

And what is progress for us?
Knowing more; collecting more.

I’m not trying to unnecessarily be simplistic. Please go into it.

When you know more, when you collect more, is it something that happens only on the outside or does it also affects your self-worth? When you know more, your self-worth rises; when you collect more, again your self-worth rises. The Upanishads say, that your self-worth, that which you are, is any way infinite, you are anyway total. Now, go out and play. You are anyway perfect and complete. Now, do whatever you want to do. But do it from a point of perfection. Do it from a point of completion.

Do not do in order to gain something. Do not do in order to rise.

Act as if you are already there as if you are already complete.

That is what Vedas are all about.

Now, around this center, a lot has been said. Just a whole lot.

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Thought is not bad

There is the mind, and the mind has the ability to think. The question is not whether you are thinking or not. The question is, who is the thinker? If the thinker is devoted to the Truth, then thoughts are just like the dance of Shiva.

Is the river of your thoughts pure enough to allure Shiva to dance in it? And Shiva will not dance in a stream impure.

There is understanding without thought and there is understanding with thought as well. Just as there is Truth, formlessly, and there is Truth, formed as well. There will be occasions when the Truth will strike you like a thunderbolt, like a flash of lightning. And understanding will be complete in a split second. And there will be occasions when you will be required to think.

But I understand your predicament. All the spiritual masters are treating thought as the worst offender. As if thought has brought in sickness and disease to your life. Not really. Thought is your expression, just as action is your expression. As you are, so your thought is. In fact, thought is so very helpful. You cannot look at your tendencies, your vrittis, directly. But thought is gross, palpable, definite, it can be watched.

When you think, you come to know of yourself. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have known. The thought of jealousy or the thought of fear arises, it helps you know that deep within somewhere, you are? Afraid.

Thought is not bad. ‘Useful’ or ‘Useless’ is the place, thought is coming from.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: Is physical proximity to the Guru necessary?