Expectations in relationships after marriage || Acharya Prashant (2019)

Question: Acharya Ji, before marriage, very relationship that I had, has been very natural. I never did anything to be good with them. But once I got married, it is not coming that natural.

Please guide.

Acharya Prashant Ji:

Where there is desire, there is conflict.

Even the relationship with the family members before marriage is not really natural. It is just that, you know that there is not much to be desired there. If you have desires even with your parents, then there would be conflicts even with the parents.

It is not about marriage, it is about desire.

Especially in India, girls know that do not have very high stakes in the parents’ house. Soon they would be out of the ancestral place. So, they anyway do not raise there desires very high, with respect to parents, and the parental place. They know that they are anyway going to go away. So, the expectations are not very high. And because the expectations are not very high, so the relationship remains smooth.

Parents keep saying, “Girls are better than boys, you know.” And girls keep remembering parents’ place was much better than the in-laws’ place. A lot of that was much because, both the parents and the daughter know that the relationship is short-lived. Soon she would be away. If the girl were to stay with the parents the entire life, then there would be conflict with the parents.

It is not about a time-period pre-marriage, and post-marriage.

It is about the human mind.

And it is about the basic principle that – expectations lead to disharmony and clashes.

Once you are with the husband, you want the sky. You never tell your brother, to fetch the moon for you. Do you? But on the first night of your marriage, you ask your hubby, “Where is the moon?” And the little fellow…..He promises the moon. He is not honest enough to admit.

If you want the moon from your father, you would find quarrels. It’s just that the society, and the movies, and biology, have conditioned you to demand the moon only from your conjugal partner.

Try this. Start having expectations, from any of your near friends, and see how quickly the relationship nosedives. And, when it comes to your Mr. Perfect, you are supposed to have expectations. So, you are supposed to break your head, against his. 

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Conflict among parents, and effect on child || Acharya Prashant (2019)

Conflict among parents, and effect on child

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Question: Acharya ji, what happens when parents are in conflict? What happens to the child? How can two people, the husband and the wife, love the child very much, but between them there is a lot of conflict?

What is the impact on the child? And how can the parent help the child to be a stable adult?

Acharya Prashant: It’s a double calamity. You see, first of all, there is this basic thing regarding company. Let’s say there is only one child. So, there are three people – the man, the woman, and the child.

The child has the company of the man and the woman. The man and the woman, constitute, let’s say fifty to eighty percent of the child’s company. Except for the neighboring playground, and the school he goes to, who is the one who provides him company? These two, the man and the woman.

So, it is these two, that he principally, got for company. And when you are in the company of people, who are always fighting, what effect will it have on your mind?

Forget that those people are your parents. Any two people. If you are in a railway coach, and that too, in an enclosed cabin, with two fellow passengers, and it’s just a journey let’s say ten hours long, and those two people are constantly squabbling, what would it do to you?

Listener: Irritating, Frustrating.

Acharya ji: If you are very patient, you will try to sleep. If you are little less patient, you will try to calm them down. If you know even lesser patience, you will pull the chain. And if you are totally fed up, you may as well not decide to wait the next station.

(laughter)

If even ten hours are intolerable, with two quarreling people, how does it feel to live with two quarreling fools, for an entire lifetime? Forget that they are your parents, any two persons. I said that even strangers, fellow travelers in a train. It’s a very-very bad thing to happen, to anybody. And worst, if it happens to the impressionable mind of the child.

When you are fighting, you become very-very self-centered. Extremely selfish. When you  are fighting, then ego is aroused to unimaginable levels. You forget all about anybody else. In the moment of aggressive excitement, you are totally yourself, you are totally the little self, you are totally the petty ego. And then the others’s welfare, the other’s concern, cease to matter. 

When the woman is fighting the man, and vice-versa, then it becomes immaterial to both of them, what is happening to the child. The woman has to win, the man has to win. And in the process of winning that petty battle, what is happening to the kid, becomes insignificant.

Listener: What is the solution?

Acharya ji: We have to see what is happening. Next thing, is the issue of identification. First thing was of company. Next is of, identification. Not only is the kid in bad company, he is deeply identified with these two quarreling people.

One is his or her mother. The other is his or her father. And what does identification mean? I am – that. This is what identification says, right? That am I. In the heated moment of the quarrel, what is the mother? The mother is pure aggression. What is the father? The father is pure hatred. And the kid is saying, “That am I,” because the kid is identified with the father and the mother.

So what does the kid become? Aggression and hatred. And the mother and the father will not even realise it. They will say, “We were fighting. We didn’t do anything to the kid as such.” You did do, and you did a lot. You destroyed the kid.

Listener: So, is it better to separate?

Acharya ji: And take the kid along.

Listener: The kid will live with at least one of them.

Acharya ji: Would one of them live and survive loneliness? No. That one of them, will surely, pull into his life, somebody else. It may not necessarily be somebody from the opposite sex. But that fellow is surely not going to live a vacuous, and vacant life. He would find something, to get involved in, because the fundamental, petty ego, remains the same, even after separation.

Separation does not transform the ego. Divorce is not enlightenment. Or is it? So you are still the same. Kid is still with one of these two fools. In fact, it might make it worse for the kid, because now there is nobody else to fight with. So the kid gets all the aggressive attention. You know, you can’t beat up he wife now. And the hand is itching. So, it’s the kid.

Divorce, and separation, are obviously not the solution.

Solution lies in basic, inner transformation.

And that inner transformation will become easier, if the parents see that they have some love for the kid. 

You know, sometimes it is easier to do for others, than for yourself. It is easier to say, “I will accept defeat, not because I feel like getting defeated, but for the sake of the kid.”

“For the sake of the child, I am prepared to accept the defeat.”

The important thing is to realise that it is not for no reason, that most of the world’s population, is already distorted, by the time it reaches adolescence.

This organisation has worked a lot, with teenagers and young people. And let me tell you, by the time a boy or a girl reaches seventeen, there is ninety-five percent chance that he or she is already a very difficult case, almost beyond redemption. Such is the distortion of psyche, that happens due to a bad childhood.

In fact, if there is one unpardonable crime, it is bad parenting. 

You are not even killing someone. You are disfiguring someone, and sentencing him, to live an entire life. How does it sound? It is like chopping off somebody’s limbs, and ensuring that he lives. And lives an entire life, without limbs.

In fact, it is probably possible to live an entire life without these physical limbs. But it is far worse, living an entire life, with a distorted mind. And the parents, and to some extent, the society and the education, they very badly distort the minds of young people.

And it is also something very curious, very regrettable, that often it happens, that the more ignorant a person is, the more desirous he is, of having kids. It is not always the case, but it is found very frequently.

In fact, if a proper scientific survey is done, may be a statistical correlation can be established. The ignorance quotient, will be directly proportional to the number of kids one has.

Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session:  Conflict among parents, and effect on child || Acharya Prashant (2019)


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Acharya Prashant: How to choose the right partner for marriage?

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Acharya Prashant: Companionship is wonderful. Be with one person, ten persons, anybody who helps your mind be centred. Being with such a person or a group of persons is wonderful. If marriage is another name for beautiful companionship, marriage is wonderful.

But, what matters is not the social institution of marriage, but the fact that you are with someone. And when you are with someone, the presence of that someone will necessarily have an effect upon you and vice-versa. You must know the effect that the other’s presence has upon you. If someone’s presence has a becalming effect on your mind, soothing effect on your mind, illuminating effect on your mind, liberating effect on your mind, go ahead. Boldly be with that person or persons as much as you want to.

But be with them only as long as their effect upon you is liberating. And be with them only as long as you do not become dependent on them, neither do they become dependent on you. It has to be a mutually healthy relationship. Not a relationship in which you enter because of sexuality or loneliness or social pressure.

You already have enough troubles, right?

You don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom, do you?

But yes, if someone can bring joy and truth to you, invite them right into your heart. And then marriage is inconsequential. With the right person, you marry, wonderful, you don’t marry, wonderful. And with the wrong person, you marry, bad luck, you don’t marry, bad luck.

What do you think?

Only married people have troubles?

Read more

Acharya Prashant: How to earn more money?

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Acharya Prashant: (Reading a question) One may have good knowledge, but he might not be having a satisfactory job or salary. What to do in such a situation?

You see, as long as knowledge to you is a means of earning a higher salary, you will have to realize the limitations of knowledge. Higher salary does not come merely on the heels of higher or deeper knowledge. This is assuming that you have already set a goal. And the goal is to get a high salary. I am going by your goal. You want to get a high salary.

If you want to get a high salary, you must know what all factors drive salaries. It is just not dependent, merely on your knowledge. It is a function of many many variables. And even those variables are variable.

Today, high salary might be a function of x, y, and z. And tomorrow, high salary might be a function of s, t, and u. So, variable variables are there. You just can’t know.

Yes, you can catch hold of one variable, and put all energy into it. But that may not necessarily help. The car might be in neutral, and you are pushing the accelerator, would that help? You would only burn more and more fuel, and the engine would get heated up. You are trying to push just one variable, and you are not seeing that the other variables are all? Choked. They will not let you progress.

So, you have two options now. Either you go out and determine all the variables that drive salary. And when you determine all the variables, you must remember that the variables themselves are? Variable. So, that which is driving salary today, might not be what would drive salary? Tomorrow. And that which is driving salary in one place, might not be what drives salary in another place, another room, another building, another company.

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Acharya Prashant, with students: You are the mother of all importance

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Acharya Prashant: All your student life, you have been talking and studying about this and that. The languages, Science, Social Sciences – History, Geography, Physics, Mathematics, Chemistry. Now, Technology.

But there is one entity that you have forgotten so much, that it is very difficult at this moment, to even remind you of that entity. That entity has never been in the domain of your education. You have studied about a lot of things, but there is one entity that you have never studied about. Never bothered to attend to.

What is that entity?

Listener: Personality.

AP: Personality?

You will get to study a lot of Personality.

In fact, you have been studying about nothing but ‘Personality’!

‘Personality’ by definition is nothing but what you gather from outside.

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Acharya Prashant: Ambition and anger

Acharya Prashant: What is your name?

Listener: Kshitij Aggarwal.

AP: The question asked by Kshitij is why do needs often dominate ambition?

And he surely thinks that it is quite unfortunate that needs to start dominating ambitions. The reason is simple, he probably gives a lower priority to needs and higher priority to ambitions because he thinks that the ambitions are his. He has kept ambitions very close to himself. He believes that they are his own.

So, he deeply wants the ambitions to be fulfilled. But finds that instead, something else has to be done, first of all, we will understand this conflict. And we all face this conflict, this conflict is not only in Kshitij’s mind, this conflict in the mind of every single one of us. But we are all confused, we rarely know, what to do. There are always one or more options in front of us, and we are unable to see clearly which one is suitable. Right?

This happens not only once in six months, at the time of admissions or at the time of choosing a job, it keeps happening daily, day in and day out. What is this conflict? you will have to understand.

Kshitij,

Our mind is dominated by ‘external influences’ which we have so far called is the development of ‘Ego.’

Our mind is not our mind, our mind is a collection of all external influences.

Our mind is divided into many many segments and many parts, and there are so many different forces that are controlling these separate parts. So, one part is being controlled by parents, one part is being dominated by media, one part is being dominated by society, one part by peers, one by corporations, one by thoughts of career, one by XYZ, and very very large number of parts.

Now, these different parts are your different masters. It’s like a person is tied to fifty different ropes being pulled by fifty different people in fifty different directions. Will that person be able to move towards any definite direction, any one direction.

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We marry problems

Troubles, give you so much to fill your self up.  Troubles gives you a nice identity, an identity that you can get so easily use to.

Life without problems is not possible but there can be life, beyond problems.

The moment you withdraw from the problem, the problem will fall. There is no problem that you experience that comes to you, without your consent, participation and active involvement.

We don’t, marry and get problems. We, marry problems.

To drop problems means to drop the ego, drop the troubling self.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: Surely there is life beyond troubles

Acharya Prashant: Surely there is life beyond troubles

Question: Acharya Ji, can the ego ever be free of troubles?

Acharya Prashant: You need to have faith, that there is life beyond troubles; otherwise troubles are so sweet. Who am I ~ The troubled one.

Troubles, give you so much to fill your self up.  Troubles gives you a nice identity, an identity that you can get so easily use to.

I am, the one, stung by problems. I am the one, who is the victim of troubles. Troubles, problems, all of them, can so easily, give you something, to live by. You must, first of all, let yourself, acknowledge, that there can be life, beyond problems, not without problems.

Life without problems is not possible but there can be life, beyond problems.

But we have a great belief in problems. No?

In fact, you know, it is an insult to problems, that we call them problems. Our problems are our intimate friends. The proof is that you will not let them go.  Will you ever let your problems go? Even if the problem is willing to go, you will catch it, by its collar and you’ll say, no, you don’t have to.  Okay, you can go at a more opportune time.  You have been a guest here for so long and now its late at night and out there, there are thief’s and thugs so you can go in the morning.

AP: That morning never comes. No problem, I assure you, can stay with you, without your active involvement in the problem.

The moment you withdraw from the problem, the problem will fall. There is no problem that you experience that comes to you, without your consent, participation and active involvement.

L: Why we can’t see life beyond the problem?

AP: Because you have been made to believe, through the whole process of your evolution, that there is no life beyond problems and if there is no life beyond problems, then problem-lessness to you means life-lessness.  You do not want to die. You have a belief that the moment problems disappear, life too will disappear, and you do not want to die.

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Is marriage your real problem?

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Marriage

“Learn something from marriage. Marriage represents the whole world in a miniature form, it teaches you many things. It is only the mediocre one who learn nothing. Otherwise it will teach you that you don’t know what love is, that you don’t know how to relate, that you don’t know how to commune, that you don’t know how to live with another.”

Osho

“It is a mirror: it shows your face to you in all its different aspects. And it is all needed for your maturity. But a person who remains clinging to it forever remains immature. One has to go beyond it too.”

Osho

Acharya Prashant: There are many questions on marriage. I’ll take them as one. One of the question says, “Marriage comes with a sweet promise to eliminate loneliness, but seems to strengthen it more. It’s definitely a mirror in showing that we don’t know how to communicate, love or even live. For there is no understanding of oneself at the first place.” This is probably a quote. The question is asking, “What is it to be intimate in reality?” Read more

We are all born married

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Listener: Is it possible to live alone?

Acharya Prashant: Why does this question arise?

L: Because I don’t want to get married.

AP: Why don’t you want to get married?

L: Because I want to go on the path of spirituality. And dependency should not be there. I feel that if I marry someone, I will be dependent.

AP: What if you are dependent on somebody or something else even if you don’t marry?

L: I feel complete without marriage.

AP: Then, why does this question arise? Read more

Learn from kids before you teach them

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Question: Sir, is there something we can do for the education of our kids at home or at schools?

Acharya Prashant: What we call as education is just a preparation to serve social roles. The kid comes only physically conditioned; we make the kid a servant of the society. If you are in charge of a kid, then you have to be very sensitive, very careful and loving. Because remember that education does not happen only in school or college, education also happens when he is on the TV or the internet or with his peers, education is happening all the time. One has to be very careful about these messages. Read more

Acceptance does not mean compromise

You cannot accept yourself without accepting the totality of existence.

When you are complaining against everything, how can you be alright with yourself?

When you are offended and hurt by everything, how can you be alright with yourself?

People talk about accepting themselves, but accepting themselves is never in isolation.

It has to come with an acceptance of everything and acceptance does not mean compromise.

Acceptance means “Whatever there is, in the middle of all of it, I am okay; there might be diseases all around, but in the middle of diseases, I am healthy. Diseases can never touch my core, my essence. It might even touch my body, but it can never touch my soul.”

This is that inner confidence.

Now you do not need to wear make-up.

It is desires that are born as a child

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Listener: When we are born, the first thing that we absorb into us is it the Truth or the desires?

Acharya Prashant: It is not as if desires come to you after you are born; only desires are born!

It is not as if desires come to you after you are born; only desires are born!

The thing that you call as just born is nothing but a bundle of desires. Only desires are born—the desire of the father, the desire of the mother, the resultant of those desires is the desire of the whole evolutionary process. Read more

What is attachment?

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Question: What is attachment? Please explain with an example.

Acharya Prashant: Mind is the product of time. Anything and everything in the mind is in terms of time. The mind takes time as real. So, whatsoever exists for a long length of time in the mind, the mind takes it as real and becomes attached to it. The mind says, “Oh this is real. If it is real, then it is me.”

The mind is an incompleteness, waiting for completion. It requires some object. Which object would it prefer? It would prefer an object that makes it feel secure and hence it would prefer an object which it can call as real. For the mind real is always in terms of time. The mind has no other way of determining whether something is real. Don’t you say, ‘Oh? It has been continuing for 2000 years, how it can be false.’ Have you not heard such things? Read more

Do not look at a man through eyes of morality

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Acharya Prashant: Vice is the spice of life.

 I am saying: vice is spice. Mostly, what you call as virtue, is just empty morality. Read more

What is inspiration?

Question: How can inspiration be so effective that it changes life of a person?

Speaker: Person have no inspiration, they only have ‘expiration’. Do you know what inspiration is? That is “in spirit”, your very core; when it arises from there, only then it can be called an inspiration. In spirit! Are we ever inspired really? No. (Smilingly) We keep expiring. That is why a saint has said that “you die a thousand deaths before you physically die“, because we always expire. Inspiration means when you really know not when you have heard, read or thought about it and it has stopped at that.

The person is made up of the world. He cannot have inspiration. He has nothing actually that can take control of him and comfort him and relax him. He is always at the mercy of the outside buffeted by and in between a thousand forces.

Because a person is asking this question that is why the person is asking, how can inspiration be so much or whether inspiration can be so much? All this is the lexicon, the tongue of the person. In the wiring of the person there are only movements and processes and reaching and doubts so he will firstly ask whether and then he will ask how.

Inspiration is about being totally possessed. Inspiration is about giving your complete command to something that you are not. And when we are talking of completeness, then it cannot happen in doubt. Doubt means hundred percent cannot happen. Doubt means something will be reserved.

Inspiration is not for those who ask for why and how. Inspiration is when you drop all this mental veneer. And allow yourself to roam naked. Inspiration will not tell you what to do in your current circumstances.

Read more

Love comes along with Courage

Question: Why can’t I keep my learning at the back-end, and act as a normal human being in the front-end? When I try to make people aware of the learnings I have had from you, I receive severe resistance. Is it important at all to disseminate this wisdom?

Speaker: What has the questioner just said? That the audience here is abnormal. What do you mean by a ‘normal human being’? What is your concept of ‘normal’? The one who doesn’t have any learning.  What kind of statement is this?

The one who would learn, would he still have an option to act as if he is blind? The one who is able to see with his eyes open, would he still have an option act in an unconscious way? Deep within you think that the those who are blind, unaware are ‘normal’ and anybody who realizes, is awakened, is able to see, has something wrong with him. He is abnormal.
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Before you chase goals, become goal-less

Impart not esoteric Truth to fools,
Nor on molasses feed an ass.
Do not sow seeds in sandy beds,
Nor waste your oil on cakes of bran.
-Lal Ded

Speaker: The question is, ‘Why is a compassionate saint speaking such words? They look more like coming from a result oriented mind.’

When you say, ‘Why is a compassionate saint speaking these words?’, who are you referring to? There is a Lal Ded that never took birth and will never die. There is a Lal Ded who is so expansive that space cannot contain her and there is a Lal Ded who surely took birth and who surely die. There is a Lal Ded who is limited in a body, there is a Lal Ded who is living, eating and breathing in achievement and there is nothing left for her to get. And there is a Lal Ded who must move around, go place to place, speak and dance. There is a Lal Ded who is pure silence and there is a Lal Ded who must deal in words. Who are you referring to? Who is the saint? When you say saint, what do you mean? What do you mean? Your query is that why is Lal Ded speaking in a language that looks result oriented?
Read more

Detachment is the fruit of maturity

Speaker: You see we are outrageously arrogant when it comes to small things, we are so fond of claiming that which we do not have, but we are absurdly humble when it comes to claiming that which we really have. You don’t have a large house but you would not feel shy of boasting it to others that I have a large house and so much money. But it terrifies you no end to admit that you already have enlightenment. There you want to act humble. Why don’t you just admit? Read more

Whatever you choose will bring sorrow to you

nāyam ātmā pravacanena labhyo na medhayā, na bahunā śrutena:
yamevaiṣa vṛṇute, tena labhyas tasyaiṣa ātmā vivṛṇute tanῡṁ svām.

                                     -(Katho Upanishad,  1.2, 23)

Translation: This Self cannot be attained by study of the Scriptures, nor by intellectual perception, nor by frequent hearing (of It). He whom the Self chooses, by him alone is It attained. To him the Self reveals Its true nature.

Speaker: The aatman cannot be attained by studies of Vedas, nor by intelligence, nor by much hearing. It is gained by him who chooses It alone. To him, this aatman reveals his true nature. So the question is, ‘Isn’t studying the scriptures also choosing it? What does it imply?’ When we say that it is gained by him who chooses it alone, what does it imply?

Whenever we choose, we choose in hope of something else, we never choose the thing itself. The thing is just a promissory note. When you say that you are choosing something, you are not choosing the thing, you are choosing a promise, a hope, you are choosing the thing as a medium to reach something else, so you never choose anything alone by itself. You choose an entire story, you choose a process, you choose a chain, a series that will probably, eventually lead you somewhere, or so you hope.

To choose It alone is to come to the end of choosing.

To come to the end of choosing is to come to the end of time, is to come to the end of ego itself. Have you ever chosen anything after which there would be no need to choose? Have you ever chosen anything that would be final? Ever? You choose in the hope of reaching ‘the final’. You never choose ‘the final’ itself, because ‘the final’ itself is probably not a ‘thing’ to be chosen. Are you getting it?

To choose it alone is to come to the end of choosing, and that ego cannot do, because the ego itself will not agree to its own annihilation. So who chooses It alone?

Whatever you will choose will just be a promise, a hope. You choose a man or a woman, what do you think, you are choosing the man or the woman? No, you are choosing something beyond the man or the woman, which unfortunately a man or a woman cannot give to you. That’s why all our choices fail, because what they promise, they never provide. What do you think; do you choose a nice piece of jewellery? No. It promises joy, but unfortunately, it never gives that, that’s why you need another piece and then the next one, and then the next.

Behind all our endeavors is a deep thrust to come to the end of endeavouring. Behind all our choices is a deep desire to come the end of choosing. In some sense, all that the ego wants is, its own end. The ego is actually suicidal; it’s just that it cannot commit suicide. It’s so afraid. The ego wants to come to an end because its existence only gives it suffering, so it does want to come to an end. But it doesn’t have the guts. It wants to disappear, but it can never choose to disappear. It can only choose a hope of disappearance, it can only hope the ultimate. And that is the reason why hope is such a deception. The ego uses hope to continue itself.

 ‘One day ‘I’ will come to the ultimate, so today ‘I’ can continue. One day the final will happen, so today ‘I’ can just live with the old pattern.’ It can never choose the ultimate. Very beautifully the Upanishad says that ‘your’ activities will never bring you to the aatman because you will never exercise that simple and direct choice.

(Speaking in Sanskrit) नायमात्मा प्रवचनेन लभ्यो, न मेधया न बहुना श्रुतेन. This Self cannot be attained by study of the Scriptures, nor by intellectual perception, nor by frequent hearing (of It). These are the activities that you do, and your ‘doing’ will never bring you to That, because all you are doing is just an escape from That. How can you come to that from which you are escaping? How can you come to the centre while moving to the circumference? So what is the solution that the Upanishad is showing?

The aatman is gained by him who chooses it alone. To him this aatman reveals its true nature.

Choose it alone, nothing else. No medium is required, no hope is required, no future is required, no middleman is required. What do I want? Joy, not joy through a man. This otherness, this intermediation is a problem. What do I want? Freedom, not freedom after two years. Freedom is unqualified and instant, right now.

When that choice comes to the ego, it retreats. The ego will never make that direct choice. It will keep clamouring for freedom, while never choosing freedom. What will it choose? It will choose different types of bondages that will supposedly lead to freedom. Rubbish, obviously rubbish!

What can you do then? Nothing. You are anyway choosing all the time. Just know that your choices are useless. It does not mean that you should exercise a different choice. Kindly do not interpret it to mean that. All you interpretations are anyway your choices. The Rishi is not asking us to choose differently. What is he telling us? ‘Whatever you will choose, you will only choose from escaping That which deserves to be chosen.’ So take your choices with a pinch of salt. Never think that you have made a great choice, that kind of compliment you can reserve for people who are changing their fifth girlfriend. ‘Oh! You have made a great choice this time around’, or for a woman who has brought a new sari, ‘Great choice’!

You should know that no choice is a great choice. The moment there is a choice, there is just rubbish. That does notrt mean that you should stop choosing, because ‘you’ will choose. I am speaking to the one who chooses. Right? I am not speaking to the great aatman. I am speaking to the one who chooses. To whom am I talking? The ego, and the ego will choose. So I am not asking you to not to choose, because you will choose. I am not asking you to choose differently, because whatever different choice you will make, that will anyway come from the one who is choosing. So I am saying none of that. All I am saying is that you will continue to choose, just know that your choices are useless, and then choose. Keep choosing, and be aware that all these choices are useless. Is this clear?

Listener 2: I have observed that whenever I choose to buy something, there is an initial excitement, there is a hope that the product will be good. But after the product arrives, that excitement vanishes away.

Speaker: Nobody ever sells you anything except hope. Realize this. Nobody ever sells you anything except hope, and that is why you need to be hopeless. (Everyone laughs). How else will the market survive then? A promise is what you buy. A fairness cream is not a skin treatment cream, it is the promise of love. Realize this. It is the promise of love. That’s what you buy. A promise of love!

Listener 2: So one should go for everything then?

Speaker: Yes, everything.

-Excerpts from a Clarity Session held at Advait Sthal. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session at: Whatever you choose will bring sorrow to you

Article 1: Why do we choose to suffer silently?
Article 2: Whatever you choose for yourself will be poison
Article 3: Confusion arises from choice; choices from ignorance