Acharya Prashant on J. Krishnamurti: The ego uses both sex and meditation as an escape

The ego uses both sex and meditation as an escape

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“Love is a state in which there is no ‘me’; 
love is a state in which there is no condemnation, no saying that sex is right or wrong, that this good and something else is bad.

Love is none of these contradictory things.

Contradiction does not exist in love.”

~ J. Krishnamurti

Question: Krishnamurti says that one craves sex, because in that, one finds no ‘me’, ego, and hence no conflict. And one uses it as an escape. Why does one not use, meditation too, as an escape? Is it because that one lacks understanding, energy, or is it because that the outside influences and inherent tendencies, acquired and hence biological, are too strong?

Does this call for an inner strength stronger than the outer influences? How would one describe this inner strength in words, if it exists?

Acharya  Prashant Ji: The basis of the question is, that one probably does not use meditation as an escape. But one does use meditation as an escape. One uses everything, as an escape.

One uses meditation, in precisely the same way, as one uses sex, or any other means of getting away.

Of course, Krishnamurti is spot on, when he says that, in the experience of sex, there is no ‘me’, no ego, and hence no conflict. So, there is a great peace, a silence, a touch of the beyond.

That peace, that silence, that touch of the beyond, is one’s ultimate desire.

But, is one ready to go beyond the touch? The ego is so afraid, and so stupid, that it is terrified of the one, it loves. That it wants to run away, from the same healing touch, it so craves for.

One will have ‘a little’ of it, one does not want ‘the whole’ of it. A little of it, ensures continuity of the ego. A little of it implies that one could have the healing touch, and yet remain what one is, yet continue with one’s ways. That much, is acceptable to the ego. But only that much, not beyond that.

The ego says, “My first priority, is to remain, exist, and after that comes everything else. Even the Truth must be subservient to my first priority.” So, liberation is alright, as long as, it is a second of liberation. Peace is alright, as long as, it is five minutes of peace. But, if silence threatens, to take over the entire life, if peace starts dominating noise, to the extent that noise might be completely annihilated, then the ego rejects.

The ego wants Truth, but only a modicum of Truth.

The ego wants peace, but only a sliver of peace.

The ego is foolish.

It’s first priority is always, it’s own sustenance.

So when, the ego will enter meditation, it will enter false meditation, it will enter limited meditation.

People meditate for five minutes. People set a particular time to meditate. I would ask, professional meditators, people who have been practicing meditation for so long: if you love meditation so much, why do you get up from it? If you love meditation so much, why do you limit it to half an hour of the morning time? Why don’t you let meditation, your entire life? Why can’t you live meditatively?

They would not have an answer. The answer is clear. The answer is: if you start living meditatively, rather than limiting, just isolating, relegating meditation to a corner of your daily schedule, then your daily schedule itself, would be threatened. You do not want to allow that.

The ego does not want to allow that. The ego says, “Meditation is good, as long as it is for half an hour. Then it will serve my my ends. I can become a little peaceful. Mind you, just a little peaceful. I can become a little peaceful, and then go about doing my usual, daily tasks.”

“Even if meditation has to be there, it has to be there as a servant of my daily priorities. I want to go to the same office, and continue with the same humdrum business, and to be effective in the same humdrum business, and to perform more efficiently in the same office, I want to be meditative.”

“I will not let meditation overpower me. I will not let meditation, become a canopy, over the space of my life. I will not let meditation become, a complete solution, that dissolves me away.”

“I will use meditation as a tool. I will use meditation as a tool, to remain more of what I anyway, and already am” – that is how the mind uses meditation, that is how the mind uses sex, that is how the mind uses Truth and God.

Because you are disturbed, dull, restless, after the entire day’s soul-sapping routine, in the night, you use sex as an entertainment, as a relief, as a getaway. Using sex as a relief, enables you, to wake up the next morning, and again continue with your routine, and then again hit the bed in the night, again use sex as a dissipator, again use sex as a temporary healer, and then again go back to the same shop, same work, same office, same society, same people, same routine, that disturb you.

Sex, Meditation, Prayer, God – in that sense, all of them, just are used by the ego, as enablers.

They enable the ego, to continue, as it is.

One returns to his shop, and then goes to the temple. Going to the temple, enables one, to return to his shop.

One does, what one does the entire day, and then in the evening, one wants to atone. One goes and confesses. It might be an evening, or it might be a Sunday in the church. One goes and confesses. Or one would write a letter of guilt, confession, admission, to a teacher. One would say that I wasted the entire day. One would say that I am a lousy man, an evil man. And all that confession in the evening, enables one, to conveniently again embark the next morning, on the same beaten path.

That is how we work.

We exploit even the highest.

If a prophet would come to us, we would use him to serve our petty purposes. Don’t you see, what people do when they go to holy places, to pilgrimage, to a Dargah, to a Guru? They go there, and they ask about their little things. That is all the relationship that they have, with the Guru, or the Pir, or the Granth, or the temple, or the Gurudwara.

Let everything exist, to allow me, to even help me, remain as rotten as I am. That is the world view of the ego. That is how we look at the entire universe. Unfortunately, that is also, how we look at the one, beyond the universe.

The ego is an exploitative being. The ego is a stupid being. It exploits the one, it ought to surrender to. It goes to the ocean, and asks only for two drops. And it thinks it is being quite clever, in asking, just as much as it can hold.

Can you look at the mind, the psychology of the person, who has the entire ocean available of him, and is instead asking for only as much, as his limitations would allow? Can you see that?

Sex is a window. Organised meditation too, is a window. Every moment in life, is a window. But the ego is scared of free, open, unlimited space. It would have only as much of the sky, as the window would allow. That is why one is so agreeable, to the five seconds of peace that orgasm brings, but one is not agreeable to Samadhi, because Samadhi is infinite peace.

One wants customised Samadhi. One wants temporal Samadhi. One wants Samadhi that can be used and exploited. One wants Samadhi, that would not be a total and final dissolution. One wants Samadhi, that one can be on the top of. And that is why, one never gets Samadhi.

And that is why, that which is so easily available, and one’s innate nature, remains elusive.

Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session:  Acharya Prashant on J. Krishnamurti: The ego uses both sex and meditation as an escape

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Why do I feel lost? Why does nothing appeal?

himalaya1Question: Why do I feel lost?

Acharya Prashant: Because, you are asking this question.

We ‘think’ that we are lost, equally, we ‘think’ that we are not lost. The same place from where the thought, the perception of being lost, or not lost arises, that place is the same place from where this question arises.

There sits someone who firstly, thinks himself to be so knowledgeable that he can pass a judgement upon his situation. He thinks that he knows who he is and what is his situation is, and his location. He declares, announces, sometimes he says, “I am fine”, sometimes he says, “I am not fine”, sometimes he says “I am lost”, sometimes he says “I am home.” Are any of these judgments or questions or announcements valid, in absence of mental activity? Read more

Acharya Prashant on his book ‘The Lover you have been missing’


Listener: Sir, I was reading about love and attraction in your book  ‘The lover you have been missing’. So, could you talk more about it?

Acharya Prashant: Love too is an attraction. 

We must understand the difference between what we call as ordinary attraction and love.

Ordinarily, when the ego is attracted to something or somebody, the ego is attracted for its own ends, for its own purposes. You are attracted to food because food gives you nourishment. You are attracted to a person because the person gives you security or company or pleasure. You are attracted to an idea because that idea stimulates you mentally. That is your normal attraction. In this, that which you are being attracted to is just being serving as a provider of your need. The ego is using the object of attraction as a servant—I am coming to you so that you can do something for me. Read more


The words of a Teacher must be listened in great attention and empathy; never take them literally.

You will always, otherwise, misinterpret.

What is the definition of adultery?

Adultery does not mean that you are hanging out with somebody else’s wife.

Adultery means that you are now taking something as a high priority and that something can never be God.

That is the real definition of adultery: To be disloyal to God.

To read the complete article: On Jesus Christ: What is woman? What is Adultery? What is sin?

Surrendered, whatever you do is a prayer

Whenever your words are not are your own, you are praying; and that does not mean that you have to stand in a church or in a temple or by a river.

Whenever there is spontaneity, whenever you have surrendered, the surrendered action is a prayer.

That does not mean that you must stand with folded hands, you could be walking, that walk is now a prayer. You could be sleeping, that sleep is now a prayer.

Surrendered, whatever you do is a prayer.

Mantra, Maun, Listening and Awareness


Question: Sir, if I try to ensure to be aware of what is going on right now, it just takes me away from listening to you. Is there a fundamental mistake that I am making in understanding it?

Acharya Prashant: Not really a great mistake but still unless one reaches the last point one has not reached. There is something called mantra and then there is maun.

The thought of awareness is mantra but that is not awareness. It is still not awareness. Awareness is silence. You cannot think of awareness but you can think of stuff that takes care of rest of your thoughts. Such beautiful thoughts are the adages, the mantra, the verses, aphorisms, the words of the great Teachers. Those words by themselves are not awareness but they are the penultimate steps. They are very close to the final, to the ultimate. Read more

On Jesus Christ: What is woman? What is Adultery? What is sin?


You have heard it was said, ‘You must not commit adultery.’

But I say to you that anyone who even looks at a woman with a lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in her heart.

So, if your eye — even your good eye — causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

And, if your hand — even your stronger hand — causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.

For it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.  

~ Sermon on the Mount ~ Read more

How should one pray?


Question: How should one pray?

Acharya Prashant: If you pray you will only do what you usually do. Is that not obvious?

What all do we do?

We eat, we bath, we relax, we talk, we chat, we plan, we take pleasure, we feel hurt—that’s what we are. And if we pray then the prayer would have the same quality as all these activities have. So, obviously we cannot pray.

Prayer is not a continuation of who we are.  Praying is just going there and standing. Going where? Not to some physical location. Going there and standing silently. That inner silence is prayer.

Prayer is when you are saying that ‘I cannot know my own good’.  Read more

You are still standing within the room

It does not matter whether you are standing in the middle of the room, or at the edge of the room.

You are still standing within the room.

All your efforts, all your movements, are limited to the boundary of the room.

You cannot breach that boundary on your own.

So, bow down in prayer.

You will have to give yourself up.

Do you think sitting still for ten minutes is meditation?

Do you think sitting still for ten minutes is meditation?

No. One has to be still for twenty-four hours—that is meditation.

And if you have to be still for twenty-four hours, then you have to be surrendered to the Truth, twenty-four hours.

This twenty-hours surrender is meditation.

The Truth is twenty-four hours. The Truth will continuously guide you about the Right action. This guidance is meditation, and the Right action is meditation.

And for that, you need not do anything, because your doing itself is arrogance.

You have to stop putting your energies into the doing.

And you have to pray to get the inspiration to stop putting your energies in that foolish direction.

Meditation is nothing but a cessation,

cessation of what you have been doing and

who you are.

If you are trying hard and yet failing, then pray!

The One who is calling you, calls you through you. Your own situation, your own condition contains all the signals and hints.

When you will look at yourself, honestly and sharply, you will realise what you have been, and what you are doing to yourself; you just have to stop doing all that. The Home is really never too far away. Even the power to have that honest, sharp look of detachment at oneself comes from the One who is calling; so, pray.

When he calls, tell him,

‘Since you have been calling, and since I have been desperate to meet you, why don’t you bless me with a little more honesty? Why don’t you make me a little more sensitive towards myself? I am so insensitive towards myself that I do not look at my own wounds. I’m indifferent to my own suffering. If I could be a little more sensitive to my own predicament, then I would have known that all the methods that I have been trying are not working. That I am unnecessarily carrying beliefs; that my confidence upon my ways is misplaced.’

And it is absolutely necessary to lose this confidence. We all are carrying this false sense of sureness. We are sure about something that is not working at all. We are confident about beliefs that are only landing us in more and more trouble.

Sensitivity means to not to be so blinded by beliefs, that you cannot look at the obvious; so look at the obvious. And if you are trying hard and yet failing, then pray!

~ Excerpts from the article, ‘What is Religion?

Gems from the ongoing ‘Myth Demolition Tour, Dharamshala’, April-May, 2016

Some excerpts from the ‘Interactive Evening Discourse’ – 26th April 2016

“Faith is to trust most deeply without a reason”

“If you are talking of Faith, then you are prolonging the fear.”

“Reasonless courage is Faith.” Read more

The secret of joyful relationships

Speaker: The topic today reads: The secret of Joyful Relationships.

I am reminded that I recently saw a limping man using a branch of a tree as walking stick and that was not very distant from a place where kids were using similar branches as hockey sticks. And who knows, at the same hour, at some other place, people might be attacking each other using weapons made of strong branches. Teachers often give this assignment to their students – a simple object would be named, such as a paper weight, a slipper, an empty bag; and the students, the kids, would be asked to enlist twenty-five different kinds of uses for that thing. I suppose as kids, probably all of us would have done a similar exercise. It’s quite entertaining. Same object, the same thing, outside of me, is looked at by me so variously and so differently. For the old man, it’s a walking stick. For the fighter, it’s a weapon. Read more

You appear by the will of existence, so just abide by the will of existence

Questioner:  It is said, “You have what you need utmost”, so why do we try to ignore some situations?

Speaker: You are sprouting forth from existence. You are the existence’s will. You are the desire of the existence to express itself. You have done nothing in your expression, right? That you are there. That ‘you are there’, is not at all your doing. Existence has decided that you ought to be there, and a shape, a form will be there. Right? Existence is the doer and let existence be the doer. If existence is doing you, if existence is doing you, let existence itself provide for what you need. Because You are not ‘you’. Who are You? You are then existence, right? You are the work of existence. Existence is bringing you forth. If existence is bringing you forth, if actually you have no being apart from existence, then let existence provide for you, why do you bother so much? If you can spring up from nothing, if you can rise from the soil, let the soil provide for you. It was the soil’s decision that you will come forth from it, let the soil carry forward its decision. Read more

After dropping all, you’re left with nothing. Now drop the nothing as well.

Speaker: Ashish says, “Whatever was once important to me now seems insignificant. I wonder whether there is anything worth doing. The feeling has made me lethargic. Or is that just another trick of the mind?”

You have got it right. It is just another trick of the mind.

Now, let’s start looking at the three states of the mind. There is an important lesson for you there.

In the vacant state, the mind has an object. That object is called as the world.

In the sleeping state, again the mind has an object. That object is called the dream.

And in dreamless sleep, the Learned ones have said, the mind again has an object. Now this is quite strange. First of all you are sleeping. So, there is no world at all. Secondly, you are sleeping dreamlessly, so there is no dream either. Neither the world nor the dream, then what now is left to be an object?

Read more

What is religion? Why do we pray?

Question: What is religion? Why do we pray?

Speaker: The mind is off-center. It remains distracted, a little away from its core. That is the reason it feels restive, uneasy. That is why there is always an urge to achieve, to reach somewhere, to feel fulfilled. All of that is because the mind is not really at its center.

Religion is the way that brings the lost mind back to its center; its Home. That is religion.

ReligionNow when you are away from your Home, then what brings you back, that way too, is not really your Home. It’s a path in space, an area, other than your Home.

So essentially, religion consists of: saying something to the mind, doing things that calm the mind down; all in the domain of mind itself.

But the central purpose, as you would be seeing by now, of religion, is to bring man back to where he really belongs – his Centre, his Core, his Essence. That is also the test of true religion. Does it distract you further? Does it make you even more lost, or does it help you return?

Read more

Quotes-2, July,’15

Quotes-2, July,’15

♦ Surrender is the realization that behind all diversity of thought, the tendency to think is the same.

♦ To surrender is to not to move when there is no need to move. To surrender is to not to think when there is no need to think.

♦ You do not surrender by thinking about surrendering. You do not surrender by declaring yourself to have surrendered. You do not surrender because surrender is good. You do not surrender out of some virtue contained in surrender. You do not surrender because you have thought it through. And you do not surrender because surrendering takes you to some divine peaceful point. You surrender because you are really tired of fighting. You surrender because you see the stupidity and the limitation of mental effort, of your calculation, of your analysis, of your entire thinking process. Read more

How to cope with stress?

Questioner: Sir, how to cope with stress? I get disappointed easily.

Speaker: Is there disappointment without a specific expectation?

Listeners (in unison): No Sir.

Speaker: And when you expect, then obviously you never expect bad things for yourself or do you?

Listeners (in unison): No Sir.

Speaker: So when you expect, you expect good things to happen to you. “Good things will happen to me.” Now, just think of the good things that really happen to you or have happened to you. The really good things, not the small ones. I repeat, the really good ones. Have they happened to you because of your expectation and imagination?

Alright, let’s look at those good things. The first thing you probably like about yourself is that you are, your being, the fact that you exist. Did that happen out of your expectation?

Listeners (in unison): No Sir.

Speaker: It didn’t, right! Now, these essentials that you need for living, do they come to you because you expect them to come? And could you ever have expected them to come?

Read more

To be a human is to have Sky in the Heart and Earth in the body

“Let the whole world listen.Deaf

The sky will now speak to the earth,

but the earth is deaf as you and I”

~ Khalil Gibran

Speaker: “Let the whole world listen. The sky will now speak to the earth, but the earth is deaf as you and I”. What is the ‘sky’ and what is the ‘earth’?

What is the ‘sky’ and what is the ‘earth’? Gibran is saying, “But the earth is deaf as you and I”. So, now tell me who is the ‘earth’?

Listener: Ego?

Speaker: Yes, so then, what is the ‘sky’?

Listener: The Call?

Speaker: So, why is he saying, “Let the whole world listen”?

It’s a prayer. He is saying, “Kindly listen, kindly listen. You, the people of the earth, this world, kindly listen”.

Read more

Why does one run away from the Reality?

Listener: We say mind should be at the right place. What is that extent to which the mind should be at the right place? Does it vary? Sometimes it is near the right place but after two-three days it is away. And then again, it comes near the centre.

Speaker: Praveen(referring to the questioner), man as he is thinks of himself as two. Thought creates the second one. Man thinks of himself as two, thought creates the second one. The first is not created by thought. What is this two-ness in man; one that man really is, second what he thinks himself to be.

First that he really is, cannot be captured in thought and is neither a product of thought, nor can thought, know anything about it. Out of these two, the second one too has a life of its own.  Obviously it is an imaginary life because it has been created by thought. But it does have a life and this second one is very significant because, it is the second one that suffers. It is for this second one, that the Guru (Teacher) exists. You understand this importance of the second one, which is fake, illusory, just thought. It is so important that the Guru needs to help it. It is nothing yet so tremendously important. Read more