When does one find the final spiritual teacher? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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When does one find the final spiritual teacher

Question: Dear Acharya Ji, Pranaam!

I have observed that the mind gets coloured with the subject that I get myself involved into. Firstly it was Osho, Krishnamurti, Adi Shankaracharya, Rumi, and Ashtavkara. And now the subject is ‘you’.

Ever since I came in touch with you, I feel coloured with you. When will it happen that I will settle down in my real nature, the Source. Where am I going wrong? Where will my search end? What am I missing?

Request for your help.

Acharya Prashant Ji:

You are making a fundamental mistake. You are treating the Teachers as colour-pots. You are treating them as ‘subjects’, by your own admission.

You say, “I have observed that the mind gets coloured with the subject that I get myself involved with.”

Teachers are not subjects.

You do not read them.

You get read in their light.

Do you get the difference? Please meditate.

You do not read a Teacher, you get read in the light of the Teacher.

You get read.

You read yourself.

If you say that you are using the Teacher to colour yourself, then the basic material is remaining the same. The poor Teacher is just the colour on the surface. And you are stubborn, insistent that you will not allow the teacher to penetrate deep enough.

Colours do not change the clothes, or do they? Colours do not change the wall, or do they? Colours do not change the car, or do they? You ask that what is the mistake you are making.

This is the mistake that you are making.

You are continuing to have a ‘subject-object’ relationship with the Teacher.

And if you want to remain an ‘object’, it is imperative for you that the Teacher remains a ‘subject’.

And where there is an ‘object’ and there is a ‘subject’, there would always be a distance. The ‘subject’ and the ‘object’ cannot be one. They determine each other, they work upon each other, they play with each other, still they maintain a distance between them.

The subject, the object and the distance, all go together.

And as long as there is the distance, how can there be dissolution?

A lump of soil looks into the river and sees it’s own reflection, how does it help? How does it help? The distance is there. The lump of soil is the object, the river is the subject for that object. And all that the object can see is, it’s own reflection.

The distance has to be reduced.

There has to be a Real Contact.

A Real Contact.

And then there is dissolution.

Now the lump of soil sees nothing, talks of nothing, just flows with the river.

Dissolved, Resolved, Finished.

Alive!

Don’t read them, get read in their Light.

Light cannot be read.

What are you reading?

—————————————————————————————————————–

Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: When does one find the final spiritual teacher? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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Why do you want to get married? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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Why do you want to get married

Question: Acharya Ji, Pranaam! Currently there is a lot of pressure on me to get married. I am completely confused about this decision. I am not mentally prepared for it right now. I feel incompleteness in my life, and I want to settle things in my life.

There is a lot of pressure, but I am still holding on. This issue is taking lot of my time and attention. What to do?

Acharya Prashant Ji: 

Companionship is wonderful. Be with one person, ten persons, anybody who helps your mind be centered. Being with such a person, or a group of persons, is wonderful.

If marriage is another name for beautiful companionship, wonderful. But what matters is not the social institution of marriage, but the fact that you are with someone.

When you are with someone, the presence of that someone, will necessarily have an effect on you, and vice-versa.

You must know the effect that the other’s presence have upon you.

If someone’s effect has a becalming effect on your mind, soothing effect on your mind, illuminating effect on your mind, liberating effect on your mind, go ahead and boldly be with that person or persons, as much as you want to.

But be with them, only as long as their effect on you is liberating. And be with them only as long as you do not become dependent on them, neither they become dependent on you.

It has to be a mutually healthy relationship, not a relationship in which you enter because of sexuality, or loneliness, or social pressure.

You already have enough troubles, right? You don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom. Do you? But yes, if someone can bring Joy and Truth to you, invite them right into your heart. And then marriage is inconsequential.

With the right person – you marry, wonderful. You don’t marry, wonderful. With the wrong person – you marry, bad luck. You don’t marry, bad luck.

What do you think, only married people have troubles? You might be single, you might be a bachelor, and still you may have very bad company. And then you are equally troubled, as a husband and as a wife is.

It’s not a matter of being in that institution. The question is: What brings you that institution? Look around, see why people marry. Do they marry because it’s an affirmation of their divine love? Is that how it happens? Seriously?

In our country (India), most people marry because that’s the only way to get some good sex, good and assured sex. Otherwise, the fellow would have to spend a lot of money, or a lot of time, or both. And may then still return empty-handed. Isn’t that so?

Now if one marries for such a reason, or many other prevalent reasons –

“I will have someone to look after me when I grow old.”

“Muma needs someone to share her daily chores.”

“Grandpa is very fond of kids.”

“All my friends have married, now I have nobody to watch the movies with. They don’t take me along. I feel like a left-out if I am single.”

“These days they don’t allow me entry into night-clubs and pubs. Stag-entry is expensive.”

If these are your reasons, then look at your mind. Sort out your mind, and with a sorted mind whatever you do, would be right. There have been liberated ones, who have married. And there have been liberated ones who haven’t married. It doesn’t matter.

What matters is – liberation.

If you are sorted and liberated, go ahead and do whatever you want to.

And if you aren’t sorted and liberated, whatever you do would be wrong.

An action that arises from fear, will only lead to more fear.

An action that arises from conformity and deprivation, cannot lead to Freedom.

Questioner 1: Currently my feeling is that, I am in the process of sorting my mind. I don’t know whether I am right or not. But the current feeling is that, if I take some more time, my mind will get sorted out and things will be clearer to me. That’s the current state of my mind.

Acharya Prashant Ji: People who are recuperating in a hospital, can avoid discotheque for a few days.

Questioner 1: Acharya Ji, I want to ask one more question on relationships.

Some people gang-up, and when you identify that it’s a ‘gang’, you clearly avoid it. But sometimes, there are one or two people in that gang who respect you, and you too respect them genuinely.

What should be our response to them?

Acharya Prashant Ji: When they are ganging-up, in that moment they are not respectable. ‘Respect’ is not a permanent tag that you give to someone. When they are in a frame of mind that is worthy of respect, respect them. And when they have ganged-up with unworthy ones, with debauched ones, in that moment are they still worthy of respect? No.

So don’t label people as ‘respectable’ or ‘not-respectable’.

Look at their actions.

Question 2: Acharya Ji, one of my friends pushes my pain-buttons all the time. He is the most irritating person around.

Acharya Prashant Ji: And he is your friend.

(laughter)

Questioner 2: He cares for me.

Acharya Prashant Ji: By pushing your buttons?

Please sort this out.

A fellow who irritates you, and keeps your mind agitated, why is he present in your life as a ‘friend’? How exactly is he taking care of you, if his presence leads to an unsettled mind? What are these ‘tags’?

The only definition of a friend is: Someone who brings you back to yourself, to your Serenity, to your Peace.

That is the only ‘friendship’ possible.

And that is also the definition of ‘love’.

Isn’t it?


Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

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Woman as the passive player in sex|| Acharya Prashant (2017)

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Woman as the passive player in sex

Question: Why are females silent players in sex, in this society? Why do they spend their life as deaf, blind and dumb in matter of sex? Why does the society make them like this?

Acharya Prashant Ji: What is the society? The society is what you and me are. If you and me are exploitative, the society too will be exploitative.

Man keeps on fantasizing sex as the ultimate remedy to his mental chaos. And to get this remedy, he must have the woman’s body. To ensure that the woman’s body is available, the man must keep the woman in bondage. Otherwise, she may or she may not acquiesce.

Is it not very straightforward?

Is it not all in line with the ancient pattern of the ego?

What is surprising about this?

But what you are not seeing is, that just as the man wants to enslave the woman, because the ego is hungry for satiation, and being hungry it cannot let go of it’s promised food. Similarly, the woman too wants to hold the man captive. Their ways are different.

Man may use physical force, the woman may use force of the emotion. And if the woman is powerful in some other ways, she will use that power.

So it is great to be compassionate towards women, but it is greater to first of all understand, where all this exploitation stems from. Then you will be compassionate towards both men and women.

You must realise that – it is the fundamental nature of mankind, to be exploitative.

Man exploits woman, and woman too in her own enslaved way, exploits man.

Of course, one can go only as far as one’s apparent powers allow. And one can exercise his powers only in dimension, where on is powerful. So they both do that. They are masters of their own respective dimensions. And both want to have slaves in their own dimensions.

Man and woman together, both have to realise that this sordid game, that is being played behind their back.

No man realises what his true relationship with a woman is. And neither does a woman realise, what being related to a man means. Unless they both realise that, there would be suffering for both. The nature of suffering, the appearance of suffering, might differ. But suffering is, suffering.

Man cannot live in peace, when the woman is suffering.

And when the woman is suffering, how will she ever want peace for the man.

You must see, you must be liberated.

And then you will help all men and all women around you, to see and be liberated.

It is not then a gender-specific thing.

—————————————————————————————————————————-

Excerpted from a ‘Shabd-Yog’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session video: Acharya Prashant: Woman as the passive player in sex

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Spirituality is not delinking yourself from the world || Acharya Prashant(2018)

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Spirituality is not delinking yourself from the world

Question: Given that all our relationships seems to be arising purely out of a sense of imagined need, is it possible to have any other kind of relationship?

Acharya Prashant Ji:

Those who are free of the world, are free to relate with the world in a healthy way.

And those who are dominated by the world, have no real relationship with the world.

Given that all our relationships seems to be arising purely out of a sense of imagined need, is it possible to have any other kind of relationship?

Given what we are, we would probably, quickly, want to say, “No, if I do not need the other, why would the other have a place in my life?” Because that is what we see all around.

“The other has to serve some utility; he has to provide me financial security or physical pleasure, or has to be related to me by way of memory, and if neither of these are applicable, then why at all would I bother to have a relationship?”

Yes, you are right. Our relationships are just a bother. If the things that I mentioned do not hold, then you would not bother to have a relationship, then you would not really be constrained by your relationship.

It is possible to relate without having the need to relate.

It is possible to have a totally purposeless and aimless relationship.

We are trained in usefulness, we pride ourselves on deriving uses out of even seemingly useless things. That is what we call as ‘innovation’. That we also call as ‘human creativity’.

“You see, this was just sand and we made a nuclear bomb out of it. Look at our creativity.”

But unless one learns the art of uselessness, his life will remain a perennial search; and that is not a good life to lead.

When one is not related to the other by way of habit or expectations, then there is complete freedom in the relationship.

Then one does not accept limitations or obligations, and nor does one impose obligations on the other.

It is really a healthy relationship, because then it is real, and present, moment to moment.

You are not obliged to carry forward the past. You can really know who the person standing in front of you is. You can really talk, you can really relate.

Once I told somebody, “Let’s say a stranger knocks at your door and before opening the door, you look at him. You at least pay some attention. You want to see what that person looks like, what his eyes are saying, what his purpose might be. But when the knock on the door is by your father, or by your friend, or by your husband, you don’t even bother to look at the face of the person, because you are carrying forward a lot of past.”

You say that you already know. How can there really be a relationship now? One can look sharply at the faces that appear in the magazines and in newspapers, but one hardly ever looks sharply at the faces and the eyes of the so-called ‘loved-ones’. For that matter, one does not look sharply even at his own face.

Only the man free of others, can have loving relationship with the others.

It is only when you do not really need the other, that there is a possibility of really relating with the other.

You want to know the health quotient of your relationships? It’s easy! Just investigate your relationships for dependency. Are you dependent on the other, in any way – physical, psychological, material, immaterial? Is the other dependent on you?

Where there is dependency, there would only be violence – not love.

You need something, you are dependent on it, would you bother for its freedom? The thing says, “I want to go away,” but you need it, would you allow it to go away? And dependencies can be very subtle.

Good news is: it is possible to relate totally and freely without being dependent.

Spirituality or wisdom is not about cutting off your links from the world, rather it is about relating completely and fully.

However, the main objective is never to relate with the other. The main objective is to remain centered in oneself. Relationship with the other comes as a by-product, as a surprise gift.

“I am immersed within myself. And strangely, surprisingly, pleasantly, I find that the whole universe is a friend. The universe was never my pre-occupation, I was not thinking about the universe, I was not so bothered about the universe. And if I am very bothered about the universe even if in a so-called ‘well-meaning’ way, the universe would not be good towards me and I would not be good for the universe.”

——————————————————————————————————————————–

Excerpted from an article published in one of the leading newspaper website on 5th Dec, 2018. Read here.

Edited for clarity.


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Expectations in relationships after marriage || Acharya Prashant (2019)

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Question: Acharya Ji, before marriage, very relationship that I had, has been very natural. I never did anything to be good with them. But once I got married, it is not coming that natural.

Please guide.

Acharya Prashant Ji:

Where there is desire, there is conflict.

Even the relationship with the family members before marriage is not really natural. It is just that, you know that there is not much to be desired there. If you have desires even with your parents, then there would be conflicts even with the parents.

It is not about marriage, it is about desire.

Especially in India, girls know that do not have very high stakes in the parents’ house. Soon they would be out of the ancestral place. So, they anyway do not raise there desires very high, with respect to parents, and the parental place. They know that they are anyway going to go away. So, the expectations are not very high. And because the expectations are not very high, so the relationship remains smooth.

Parents keep saying, “Girls are better than boys, you know.” And girls keep remembering parents’ place was much better than the in-laws’ place. A lot of that was much because, both the parents and the daughter know that the relationship is short-lived. Soon she would be away. If the girl were to stay with the parents the entire life, then there would be conflict with the parents.

It is not about a time-period pre-marriage, and post-marriage.

It is about the human mind.

And it is about the basic principle that – expectations lead to disharmony and clashes.

Once you are with the husband, you want the sky. You never tell your brother, to fetch the moon for you. Do you? But on the first night of your marriage, you ask your hubby, “Where is the moon?” And the little fellow…..He promises the moon. He is not honest enough to admit.

If you want the moon from your father, you would find quarrels. It’s just that the society, and the movies, and biology, have conditioned you to demand the moon only from your conjugal partner.

Try this. Start having expectations, from any of your near friends, and see how quickly the relationship nosedives. And, when it comes to your Mr. Perfect, you are supposed to have expectations. So, you are supposed to break your head, against his. 

Read more

Gatay, Gatay, Paragatay…

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Gatay, Gatay, Paragatay….

I will miss you so much,
Pardon me, I will have to die.
We played together for long,
Now I’m going home to the Sky.

I will miss you so much,
I’m going to where I belong.
It breaks my heart to leave you,
I tried hard to bring you along.

I will miss you so much,
My time has finally come.
As a friend I could not help you,
So a stranger I must become.

I will miss you so much,
But now the Sky is pulling me.
All the glorious stars are here,
I’ll miss my silly games with thee.

I will miss you so much,
Body is cold, faint is breath.
The mission I failed in my life,
Maybe will succeed in my death.

I will miss you so much,
My pain will make the stars cry.
I’ll come down in some other form
To bring you one day to the Sky.

I will miss you so much,
I am departing to settle my due.
When in doubt, you must remember,
I had to die because I love you.

~ 31st May’19


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What is disappearance of the self? || Acharya Prashant (2019)

What is disappearance of the self

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Question: Acharya ji, what is the meaning of disappearance of the self?

Acharya Prashant Ji: Your interest in your interests has to disappear. Your interests can remain. Can this brain survive without interests? Your lungs are greatly interested on Oxygen, and they reject Nitrogen. Can lungs survive without interests?

Let the interested one, remain interested.

‘You’ have no business to be interested.

The intellect is curious by design. The intellect will remain interested. Have you not seen kids, three years olds, asking questions that grown-ups cannot answer. They will remain interested. Let the intellect, the design of the brain, remain interested. ‘You’ need not remain interested.

Let this physical system, including the brain apparatus, remain curious, interested, inquisitive, whatever. Even attached. ‘You’ stay wherever you must.

Spirituality does not entail that the lungs must give up oxygen. Renunciation is not for the lungs, Sir. Do not stretch it to absurd limits. That will give you another excuse to stay away from spirituality.

You will say, “Baba was asking me to renounce oxygen. If I have to have no relation with the world, why must I even breathe?” Because breathing is the continuous relationship with the world. And seeing is the continuous relationship with the world. So if spirituality means renunciation, even at the physical level, or at the psychological level, then you have to cease existing as an embodied entity.

Spirituality is not committing suicide, or is it? Then we do not need satsang, we need mass suicide halls. Over! It has happened, you know. There have been cults in Japan and other places, where incidents of mass suicides have been reported. They thought, that is ‘liberation’. So, 300-400 hundred people would get together, and would just breathe in some nice gas. And all are liberated. That is not spirituality, obviously!

Do not deprive the stomach of food. And do not deprive the mind of thoughts and feelings. Just as it is stupid to deprive body of food, it is equally stupid to deprive the mind of thoughts and feelings. Thought is not the enemy. Feelings are not the culprit. Your misplaced presence is the culprit. The needless presence of ‘I’ in the thoughts, is the culprit.

Be fully secure about the ‘I’, and then think as much as you want to. Feel, in whichever dimension you want to. You can laugh, you can sing, you can cry. You can even hate, or fall in love. All that is okay. All that is part of the rainbow.

Spirituality is not about banishing certain things, from your life.

Spirituality is just about seeing, that life is beautiful, and does not get any better, with the intervention of the little self, the ‘I’.

It is one thing to think, it is a totally another thing, to think with the objective of self-preservation. Can you see the difference these two thoughts? There is just thought, as is needed to solve a mathematical problem. And then there is the thought, that feeds on fear. Are these two the same?

Thought is not the problem.

Your insecurities about yourself, your utter loneliness –  that is the problem.

And that is an assumed, imagined problem.

A problem that does not exist, but is taking to be.

Now how smart is that – to be fretting over an imagined problem?

Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session:  What is disappearance of the self? || Acharya Prashant (2019)


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How to be less dependent on others? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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just sold-6

Question: Acharya Ji, my mind is fully occupied and surrounded by one person. A problem is there. When I am away from him, I am totally free, but when I will go back to him, how will I be myself? Not sure where the problem is, within me or somewhere else?

Acharya Prashant: Lata, it’s not a thing between you and that person, please. (Referring to one-on-one that happened between the seeker and Acharya Ji, a night before). We talked about it the other night.

First of all it has to be between you, and the impersonal One. If you are with Him then it really doesn’t matter whether you are with one other person, ten more persons, or with nobody at all. Your mind should not be occupied by a person. If your mind is occupied by a person, then the mind is never going to find peace. It doesn’t matter who the person is.

The mind must be the seat of the Absolute. You must belong to the Real One. And then you may be with five persons, ten persons, and we said, or no person at all. It won’t bother you. 

So, have you seen the situation?

The problem is not that the person hurts you, or the person dominates you, or the person creates problems for you.

The flaw is that you are allowing that person to become too central and too important for you.

Who should be central and important?

The Absolute.

You are perceiving things wrongly. You are saying a person sits at the centre of my mind, and the problem is that he hurts and annoys you, which means that in your own estimate, you will cease to have a problem if that same person ceases to hurt or annoy you, right?

So the problem is not that the seat is occupied by the wrong one. In your own admission the problem is that – the one who is occupying the seat, is troubling you. If the same occupant of the seat stops troubling you, you would say, “I have no problem.” No. The problem is deeper than the trouble this person is causing you. The problem is – why is the seat occupied by a person? Any person, doesn’t matter who that person is. 

(Referring to one of the listeners, sitting in front) If I allow him to sit on this seat, would you complain that this chap is talking non-sense? Would you complain? What is the fundamental fault? Why did you allow him to occupy this seat? And having allowed him to occupy this seat, why are you now, so astonished or troubled, if he hurts you? This seat belongs to? This seat belongs to Him.

Why did you allow him(one of the listeners) to occupy it? See, how eager he is. He wants me to get up and move away, and then he wants to sit here. In his enthusiasm he may even do strange things, present silly arguments, strange and strong arguments. He may say, “No, I must sit here. You go away.” But that is his doing. Would you admit all that? Hmm? 

In the expectation of deriving pleasure and security from a person, we allow that person to occupy a place, that no person should have ever occupied.

And then there is trouble. For the wife, the husband becomes all important. For the husband, the wife becomes all important. The same can happen with parents and kids, even in an employee-employer relationship that can happen. Or you can turn somebody into an ideal. And now that ideal is occupying the throne.

The throne has to be left vacant for the Infinite. It belongs to Him and nobody else. 

So, even when you are with that person, live as if, firstly, you are with the Absolute.

Outside, maybe that person or several other persons will surround you.

Inside, you should be all alone with Him.

That’s the key.

Would you remember this?

Outside a crowd may surround you, inside, there should be just you and Him. 


Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.

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How To Bring About A Total Women’s Revolution?

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women-revolution-2.jpg

Question: Acharya Ji, how to bring women’s revolution?

What does it mean to be a woman? A lot that is hurtful. Why must one keep bearing the hurt? One bears the hurt because one is drawing certain comforts. The hurt is deep and lasting, the comforts are cheap. The comforts, like the hurts, are both – physical and psychological.

There has to be a total revolution in the way, the woman looks at herself.

She cannot be a creature of the nest.

As long as the nest exists, the woman would be exploited.

With females in the animal kingdom, the nest is possible. The nest works because animals are just biological or at least mostly biological. They are not governed predominantly by social forces. Prakrati governs them. And so, if Prakrati dictates the female animal to have a nest, it works. Animal female is an animal, born an animal, dies an animal, is not ambitious, lives just fulfilling her Prakratik roles. The animal male is too just an animal, is born an animal, dies an animal and has no ambition beyond his Prakratik mandate to conquer or exploit.   

But man is not merely biological, man is social as well. And man has a social mandate to conquer, exploit. He exploits everything, he exploits Prakrati, and that’s what you call development. Don’t you? He exploits his intellect, and that you call as ‘knowledge’. Don’t you? And this man will exploit everything. And you feel greatly happy, when man exploits everything. Why will the man not exploit the woman? No animal is supposed to exploit, but man is supposed to exploit. Is he not?

Man exploits the earth to get minerals, man exploits the earth to get crops.  Man exploits everything that he can. And that is not considered really immoral. In fact we reward those who are the most clever exploiters. If you can exploit the atom to get energy, you feel so happy. Don’t you? The atom, in its own Prakratik way was not eager to supply you energy. But you took the atom and said, “I am in need of energy because I am ambitious, because I want more comfort. So, I will exploit this atom and get energy.” And if you can break open the atom and get energy, you feel happy and you respect and reward those, who do all these things.

So, if man gets recognition, respect and reward for exploiting, why would the men spare the women, or even the women spare the men? But the woman, the human female, is biologically conditioned to have a nest, just as the animal female is. But for the animal female, the nest is the end of the story. Nothing happens beyond that. The nest is made, the young ones are there, and then the rest of the Prakratik story unfolds, and that’s it. In humans, there is society beyond biology. So, if the woman is in the nest, that gives an opportunity to the man to exploit her even more.

The male bird will not exploit the female bird, when she cannot fly, because she is taking care of the eggs or the young ones. The male bird would not exploit her then. But in humans, the male is likely to exploit the female, when she is sitting in the nest to take care of the little baby.

The woman will have to go beyond her biological self.

The nest is the expression of the woman’s biological self.

As long as there is the nest, the woman would keep getting exploited.

Unfortunately, the woman is still thinking that the nest is her asset, that the nest is her protective cocoon.

The nest is not your friend; the nest is not your fortress. The nest is your cage. The man is just indifferent to the nest. The woman should be repugnant to the nest. Instead, the woman is the one, who seeks the nest. And when a human female is seeking a nest, she is only seeking a prison. Man does not rebel against the nest, man is just indifferent. Right? If there is nest, man says, “Okay, I will come.” If there is no nest, man is okay with the hotel room. Man is okay with even the hostel, man is prepared sometimes to sleep under the sky, beneath a tree.

It is the woman, who demands the nest.

The woman would have to actively rebel against the nest.

As long as there is the nest, the woman will remain chained.

Ironically, the woman is the one, who clamors for the nest.

If there is a relationship, it would be the woman, who would keep asking actively , “Darling, when are we getting married?” And after the marriage, she will be the one who will keep pestering, when will we have a house of our own.

The woman is her own worst enemy because she is very- very biology driven. Man too is biology driven but he abides by his intellect too. He abides by his intellect much more than the woman does. The woman is extremely biological.

And that is beautiful in some sense, because if you are not biological then you are probably intellectual, and the intellect is a bigger curse than it is a boon. The woman is simpler, more innocent.

I would dare to say that – the woman is simple and innocent, just as animals are, because woman, just as animals, is biology driven. She is emotional and her emotions do not really arise from understanding, not even from intellect. Her emotions arise from her body, from her biological conditioning, from her hormones. Look at the way she is attached to the baby. That does not involve any understanding. All that is pure biology, hormones. Man has no such chains. Man has no such compulsions.

It is biology that confines, and chains, and imprisons the woman.

As long as the woman keeps herself identified, with her body, the nest and biology, there is no freedom for her.

As long as the woman keeps thinking that her body is an asset, there is no freedom for her.

As long as the woman keeps thinking that the freedom is about flaunting her body, there is no freedom for her.  

The woman is the more oppressed of the two genders, and therefore, the revolution must arise from the woman.

Woman by rebelling against the body, will be the harbinger of the revolution that will liberate the entire mankind – women and men, both included.

But if you will ask me between these two genders, which one is likely or which one rather must initiate the revolution, I would say, the woman. Because, the woman is more oppressed of the two. Once the revolution begins, obviously the man too will be liberated.

But just as a woman gives birth to a man, woman will also need to give birth to the freedom of man. Man will not be able to give birth to his own freedom. Freedom too will be borne out of the woman. That does not seem to be happening. Woman remains terribly body-identified. And that which you call as ‘modernity’, or ‘liberation’, or even ‘feminism’, is unfortunately even more body-centric. It’s just that now the body-centricity is a little hidden.

There is only one way to go beyond the body, and that is the way of Truth, the way of Spirituality. All other ways go from the body to the body. So, you can go from veiling to revealing, but you are just going from the body to the body. What were you veiling? The body. And now what are you revealing? The body.

All these great liberation movements have taken you from the body to the body. So, there is no liberation at all, you are just being cheated and fooled. The only way, the women can be liberated, is the spiritual way, the spiritual route. Ahhh! Now that sounds so old fashioned. Doesn’t it? In fact, you would love to say that religion is the curse of woman, that using religion, the woman has been confined and oppressed and what not. But all that was false religion. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

If the woman can be saved, it is only through true Spirituality because Spirituality alone can take you out of your body identification.

The body, the hormones, the maternity, the nest, as long as these remain important to the women, no liberation, no liberation at all.

And when her body will cease to be important for her, the man too will cease to be important for her.

Man rides upon woman, enslaves woman, because the man is very important for the woman.

Woman may not be the center of the man’s world, but go to most women and you will find that man is the center of woman’s world.

It is quite strange.

If you want to test this, go and conduct an experiment. Test it. What is the woman thinking of? Her thoughts are much more biologically driven. What is she thinking of? Once she has become the mother, she is thinking of the kids. The wife thinks more of husband’s welfare, than the husband thinks of wife’s welfare. Isn’t that a general rule? The wife is ready with the dinner and the husband often does not return in time. Now, who has been thinking more about the other? The wife. And all this has been taken as her humanity, her kindness. She has been called as ‘motherly’, and ‘nurturing’, and she has been venerated, deity-fied, praised.

Don’t take that respect, that veneration, by being turned into a deity.

You are being confined within four walls of the temple.

Don’t accept that.

The man should not be at the center of woman’s world.

By the way, if the men want to rule over the women, let them rule. Let the men keep thinking of the women, the women must be independent of the men. I know, that is not easy. I know, I am asking something close to impossible, but that is the only way out.

Women will have to stop giving men so much importance. The importance that a woman gives to her body, her biology, her nest and man, are all one. Is there a nest without a man? The woman does not build the nest for herself. She builds it for herself, and her man. If you will go and figure out the fact of loneliness, it is the woman who is more susceptible to loneliness. Men make merry even in the company of men. You will find boys’ gang going all over, all around. A group of six boys having fun, but rarely would you find a group of six girls having fun. They need men. Six girls are not happy together. Six boys on the contrary can be very happy together.

The woman needs man, and that’s what keeps her bonded.

We need girls’ gangs.

We need girls’ communes.

We need women to be alright with themselves. We don’t want women to be emotionally dependent, or biologically dependent on men. We don’t want a woman to seek a man to complete her identity. We don’t want the woman to seek a man to complete her name.

Are you getting this?

If you say that you are a mother, what are you always looking for? Looking for a child. And when you are not a mother, you are a wanna-be mother. If you are a wanna-be mother, then you are always looking for the husband, and his sexual power. And you are saying, “I am dependent on you. My womb is empty and waiting. Come, fill it up. My nest is so lonely without you.”

And a lot of that is done, just in the name of Mamta. The women is such a perpetual mother, she is a mother even to the husband. She begins as the girl-friend and ends as the mother. Six months, she remains as girl-friend, one year as a wife, rest of the life, she is a mother to everybody. And she finds great pride in declaring that.

If she has a son and a daughter, she will say, I have three kids. And all three behave in the same way. They are dependent on me, they suck upon me. I prepare food for all. I wash everybody’s clothes; there is no difference between the kids and the husband. As long as you take your biological-role seriously, you will remain in chains. And your biological role confines you to the nest. Mark the nest, that’s your enemy. That’s the enemy. But you take that as your security cordon. You say, “Within this, I am so safe. Within this, I don’t have to experience the dirt, and the harsh sun.” Chill? No.

Get out of the nest, hit the road.

The nest! Nothing else – the nest!

I don’t know, Shilpi whether I have answered you, and Parmeshwari, you too.

Getting it?

Never get married into a home. Never get married into a family. Never become a queen of the bedroom or a kitchen, or the entire house. Just the nest or parts of the nest. And don’t be so identified with the damn eggs. All the time concerned with the eggs, the eggs, the eggs.

Look at what the market says, when it talks of women. Are there books specific to the women? But look at the advertisements. What are they selling, when it comes to the women? Stuff related to the eggs, and the body. Man might even be sold frequent flyer programs, because he travels a lot. But woman is always targeted to sell the lip gloss, the bra and egg paint. Why aren’t the airlines targeting you to sell their frequent flyer programs, I ask you. Why don’t you fly away? Fly away from the nest, that’s your only chance.

Cars are being sold and the target customer is man, and the woman is being used to sex up the car. Very few car companies are targeting to sell cars to women. Such an insult it is. No car manufacturer thinks that an entire model can be brought out to serve the needs of the women. But the woman is always present in the car advertisement. And what is she doing there? Displaying the curves. And the manufacturer is saying, “My car is as curvy as this woman. All the men, come over.”

Be the user of the car, not the doll in the car.

Learn to be on the driver’s seat, not on the rear seat or the seat next to the driver. Learn to hold the steering, get out of your nest. And don’t be so damn particular about your sexuality and virginity, and what else – all body stuff, my biggest asset is my eye brows, and lips and curves and virginity. Now what do you expect from the life? What else will you get, except bondages and imprisonment?

Knowledge must be your asset, strength must be your asset, exposure must be your asset, money must be your asset and overall, Truth must be your asset.

Not your breasts and hips.

You spend so much of time pandering to the needs of the body.

Spend time enriching yourself, spend time gaining knowledge, spend time skilling yourself.

Why do we find so few women in science?

Out of the list of the 800-900 Noble laureates, why are there so few women?

Why are so few women in the science laboratories in the world?

Where are they in politics, in sports, at least in the developing countries?

Where are they in literature, in all ways of creativity?

I will tell you, where they are. They are in the nest.

When man is busy creating a new machine, the woman is busy looking after her eggs. Now who will rule and who will be the slave? Tell me. Tell me. And unfortunately, the woman is preparing herself, just to receive the man. The woman is actually more self-less than the man. She is the finer product of evolution than man. So, the man will be busy enhancing his business or creating a new machine, and the woman would be busy taking care of the house and cooking food for the man. Now man has done everything for his own personal development, he will be called as the ruler of the business empire. And what is the woman doing? Doing the man’s laundry and cooking his dinner.

And he returns more and more empowered everyday because eight-ten hours of the day, he is working in his self-interest. He is working to gain money, working to gain respect, power, strength. And what is the woman doing all this while? Taking care of the eggs, doing the laundry, doing the meals. And then she expects that the man will be honest and kind enough to grant her an equal status. Why this exploitative man, as man is defined to be, why will this man grant her an equal status? Why? The man is the king and pardon me for being harsh, you are just his concubine.

You may call yourself as ‘the queen’ but you are not. A harlot you are. The king can throw you away, whenever he pleases. Be less emotional, the emotion is the woman’s undoing. Don’t weep so frequently, mind those tears. You think, your tears are your strength? They are your biggest weakness. Curse yourself for weeping out. Stay strong. Don’t give in to the emotional traps.

The man says, “Darling, why do you have to work. You stay at home, I will work. You take care of the bed, of the eggs, of the babies, and your mother-in-law. I will bring in the booty and obviously, you have equal rights over that. My money is your money,” never accept this temptation. His money is never your money. Never ever try to think that his money is your money. If you don’t earn anything, then you are a beggar, and that’s all. Full stop. He might be earning millions, but if you don’t earn anything of your own, you don’t earn anything. Full stop. Emotions, tears, biology, nest – that’s the woman’s world. And she is so easy to fool. So easy to fool. The man has been forever fooling the woman, and the woman still doesn’t want to wake-up.

One feels like worshiping the woman for enduring so much. One feels like worshiping the woman for being so willingly exploited. And one feels like slapping her hard in the face, for being so stupid. Her own worst enemy, she is.

Talk emotions to her and she will be pleased. Talk sense to her, and she will be offended. Truth is often rough and blunt and harsh. Tell the Truth to her, and she feels – he doesn’t love me. And offer her emotional sweeties, and you will be the best friend she ever had. I personally have so much trouble with women. So difficult to teach her. And if you somehow manage to teach them a little, they become emotional.

I know lot of what I have said, is a sweeping generalization, but still it is very pertinent and applicable. Don’t just dismiss what I am saying as ‘stereotyping’. I might be stereotyping, yet what I am saying is relevant for a great majority of men and women.

What is this thing with long hair? Why must you keep long hair? I am asking you. So that men has ease in pulling your hair and controlling you by your hair. You are already physically weaker and then, you have long tail up here. Anybody can hold your tail and control you. Even a ten year old boy can defeat you by just using your tail. But women won’t live without long hair. And I never understand this.

So I said, “If you will not cut your hair, I will grow mine.” But we cannot accept this duality – men will have short ones and women will have long ones. I said, “I will grow mine, let’s see.” But here again biology is defeating me, my hair don’t grow half as long as yours. I never get a haircut, but the hair only come to my shoulders. Your hair, go right down to your butt. As if biology itself is conspiring to keep the women chained.

What is this thing with make-up? What is this? What do you mean by make-up? Spirituality is all about giving up things that are made-up. And you are always making up. Only the false is made up. And what not, silicone implants, false bras, false eye brows, what else is there. The thing that removes the wrinkles, Botox

The entire time is being spent in this non-sense. I don’t know the details, but there is so much, you can read all that, on the menus of the salon. This treatment, that treatment and God knows how expensive they are. From where all that money is coming? Mostly from the men. And if it is not coming from the men, it is your own hard-earned money, then it is even worst. Tell this to the women in the beauty parlour, and they will pull your little hair out.

The body, the nest, be very cautious about that.

Men too have to be cautious about this, but women have to be supremely cautious.


Watch Full Discourse: How to bring about a Total Women’s revolution? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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Answer to “Acharya Ji, I am afraid of you and don’t trust you.” || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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answer

Question: Acharya Ji, I am afraid of you. The reasons are:

First reason is that of authority.  

And second reason is I want something from you and there is no total trust in you.

And I am afraid of that being found out.

Is there more to it?

Acharya Prashant: You are not afraid of authority. It’s just that you are trusting and investing in wrong authority. You have become your own authority and  that’s not really a good authority to bank upon.

It’s not authorities that you resist.

It’s just that you don’t know, who the right authority is.

Aren’t you following somebody? Whom do you follow?

There is an authority.

Is that authority trustworthy?

Inquire. Inquiry is the way. You don’t need to have trust on me or something. Just pay attention. Trust can sometimes blind people. So, better listen. I never never ask people to agree. In fact, if somebody agrees, I take that as a red sign. I just ask them to listen.

Question: It’s also a sort of admission and it has a question attached to it.

I had a insight after which any question that arises inside my head is basically exposes ego trip. Every single question is an ego trip, which prevents me from asking it. All the questions that I have asked so far in this particular camp have been largely ego trips because I want to elevate my status in your eyes and in the eyes of everybody present here.

So, I am aware of that these questions are ego trips and something inside me just says that its futile, questioning in that sense. But listening to you is a different ball game. So, how do I reconcile the situation?

Acharya Prashant: You don’t need to do anything, you are just getting unnecessarily excited. Something nice is happening with you, and that’s getting you just too excited, like a boy. A boy are you. Nice things are happening, let them happen. Why do you want to say something about it?

There is no need to say all this.

Question: Because every single thing that I do, every single thing not just questioning, the way that I am sitting right now,  whatever I do is exposes ego trip.

Acharya Prashant: That’s all right, fine. So, what?

You see, I saw a movie. There was this lady, waiting for a beloved. And she has been waiting since long, long, long. And every time, there is a faint knocks on the door, she rushes to the door and tries to see, who has come. And one night, there is this knock, she goes, and she sees that the beloved is standing, and she is so awestruck that she forgot to open the door. She is so damn excited, that she runs back to the bedroom and hides her face in the pillow.

You are just too excited.

Open the door and let it remain ajar. You have been waiting for something since very long, now that you get a glimpse of it, you are getting worked-up.

There is no need to get worked-up.

It’s easy, it could have happened anytime, it’s a coincidence that it’s happening right now. Nothing extremely special is happening.

Relax.

Question: I want something from you, and if I don’t trust you fully, I feel I have been dishonest to you.

Acharya Prashant: That’s the best you can do.

Why are you overestimating yourself?

We all want God; but do we ever trust Him fully?

But still we want Him.

That’s the best we can do. Fine.

Do you ever trust Him fully?

You trust, forget god, do you trust peace, or awareness or whatever?

You don’t. But still you want that, don’t you?

It’s ok, that’s the best the boy can do.

Do your best, and your best would be relative to yourself. In the absolute sense, even your best is no good. Your best, remember, can at best, bring you to the 99th floor. Which is ok, relative to the 50th floor, 99th floor is better. In terms of the absolute, 99th floor, doesn’t matter. It’s ok.

Do your best.

That’s is your utter honesty.

You can’t be honest beyond a point.  It’s beyond you to be honest beyond a point, and so it is alright. After all, right now you take yourself to be a creature of the floors. So, your honesty is also going to be limited. Like everything else, in the domain of the floor. Everything there is small and limited, so even honesty is also going to be small and limited. So it’s ok.

Offer ‘your’ best, offer ‘your’ best.

‘The best’ is not going to be possible for you.

Offer ‘your’ best and then probably ‘the best’ might come.

Just do, I repeat, which is ‘your’ best, which is just a relative thing. If you are on the 2nd floor, your best is to move to the 3rd floor, if you are on the 80th floor, your best is to move to the 81st floor. And that’s your only responsibility that is the definition of dharma.

If you are on the 2nd floor, the dharma is to move to 3rd floor, not top floor. If you are on the 2nd floor, dharma is to move to 3rd floor. That’s it. Full stop. So, it’s easy.

Question: Can we also say that, we are a bit selfish?

Acharya Prashant: What do you mean by that?

Question: Selfish as in if I have doubts, forget about doubts, if you know that this is going to benefit you…

Acharya Prashant: Just listen.

Doubts are neither to be patronized nor be suppressed. Just keep them aside for a while and watch.

Question: Is it so that discipline includes jap, pranayam, path seva, dhyan, and satvik aahar (Jap, pranayam, reading scriptures, serving people,attention, observation, eating good food)?

Patanjali Yoga Sutra is about discipline, it requires lot of efforts. I am more into listening and understanding. Is that sufficient Acharya Ji?

Acharya Prashant: Yes, it is sufficient. All that Patanjali says, is something that he is saying, right? And you listen to Patanjali, don’t you?

The same thing is happening here. It’s just that he presents to you, nicely, structured and codified system of teachings, so you know what he is saying, yam, niyam, dhyan, asan, pratyahar, pranayam, samadhi, you know all those things.

It’s a nice system that he has given you. Same thing happens here as well. Just as you listen to Patanjali, listen here as well.

Even with Patanjali, what would be needed?

Listening.

Similarly, listen here as well.


Excerpts from a Shabda-Yoga Session. Edited for Clarity.

Watch Full Discourse: Answer to “Acharya Ji, I am afraid of you and don’t trust you.” || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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Truth is dangerous || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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truth.jpg

Question: Dear Acharya Ji, as I go through your books and videos, I have come to a stage where I feel fear and tensions. But my mind comes to a still state, and then, automatically I am able to come out of the fear and tensions. Is this normal?

Acharya Prashant Ji: Arun, this is auspicious. But stay careful. Maya cannot be killed. She too is immortal. Peace requires constant protection. That which you get from God requires your total effort to be protected. It’s a contradiction, but you must understand.

You already get it from there, and still you must be working hard to retain it. You get it for free, but you must pay a heavy price to keep it.

Do you understand this?

It’s like a product, where initial subscription is free, but month after month, you have to pay heavy installments. And the installments are ego.

That’s what you have to continuously keep paying, in order to just retain, what you got for free. So, it’s auspicious, it’s wonderful, if you are abiding in peace.

But don’t neglect the EMIs! Otherwise, the thing will be taken away. Keep paying the installments.

Question: Parul is asking from Noida, “We attach by heart and sometimes, we use our yukti, the tricky mind, to remain attached. I have found that heart-ful attachment leads to pain. How to get rid of this?”

Acharya Ji: Get rid of what?

The attachment, the heart or the pain?

Heart-ful attachment causes no pain in the Heart, it causes pain to the mind.

Heart-ful attachment means – attachment either with the Truth or the messenger of Truth.

The Heart cannot get attached to anything else.

The Heart itself is a representative of the Truth.

It has been said that Heart itself is verily the Truth. Therefore, the Heart really does not like anyone or love anyone except, either the formless Truth or the formed representative of Truth.

But when the Heart gets attached, or devoted, or surrendered, to the Truth then it causes the mind to feel jealous, because the mind was attached to many other things. And those other things that the mind was attached to, had become the identity of the mind. And now something else, something far bigger is coming in. And all the little bits that were there, that the mind called as ‘itself – I am this’, all those little bits are getting crowded out, displaced. So, there is a lot of mind-burn and jealousy!

When God comes into your life, you will find that there is a lot of jealousy all around.

The husband starts reading the scriptures, the wife says, “This is an illicit affair. You will be tried for adultery. I am your wife how is it that you have fallen in love with the Scripture,  God or  Guru?”

It happens. I routinely face the wrath of angry wives!

“You have taken away our husband!”

Have I?

And mothers and fathers, there is a lot of jealousy because, once you fall in love with That, then you cannot remain committed and devoted to non-sense. And it is not really a choice that you make. Then you are powerless, helpless.

Once you have seen the utter grandeur of Truth, how will you now fall for the worthless things?

Therefore, Truth is dangerous.

The question is – For whom?

The Truth is not dangerous for you, the Truth is dangerous for your rubbish, which is good.

So Parul (the questioner), the pain that you are experiencing, is being experienced by your mis-associations.

Right association, in itself, can never be the cause of suffering. But right association leads to a lot of dissociation as well. It is actually not even dissociation. Right association leads to a re-alignment of your associations.

It is not as you break your existing relationships. Rather your existing relationships get aligned in the right direction. It is not as if you give-up your family or work or something. It’s just that now you align all of them with the Truth.

But this re-alignment will be resisted. Be prepared. One way to ease the whole process is, to make it inclusive. Include more and more people in it. Bring them together, so that when the change comes, it is a change welcomed by all.

Otherwise, you will be a solitary crusader, and you will see needless resistance.

That which can be done easily, must be done easily, because anyway there are a lot of battles to face. Why then spend your energy in needless battles? Conserve your energy, it will be needed when the real battle arrives.

Abhinav’s question has already been answered. How to get rid of baggage of past and present life karmas?

You don’t need to get rid of anything. Just do what is right.


Excerpts from a Shabda-Yoga Session. Edited for Clarity.

Watch Full Discourse: Truth is dangerous || Acharya Prashant (2018)


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Teach this to today’s generation || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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Acharya Prashant: Rabbits are merely Prakriti, so they are conditioned to procreate.

If we want this generation to not to procreate what must be taught to them?

That you are not just Prakriti.

This is the education that you need to disseminate.

Rabbits will reproduce because they are just Prakriti and that’s what Prakriti wants, more copies of the rabbit’s DNA; because more copies mean more chances of survival, it is like taking backup of a hard-disk, if there are two copies then chances of survival are double, one copy might get lost, then the other copy survives, and that’s why the rabbits procreate so copiously, so frequently because they are small and defenseless. They know that a lot of the baby rabbits will die, so lot of them are born so that atleast a few will survive, thereby, the species continue to just exist, existence is all that the Prakriti wants.

Teach the kids, Parmeshwari, that they are not just Prakriti.

Teach the boys, and teach the girls, teach them that they donot exist to dance to the tunes of the body and the brain. Teach them that they are not chemicals to react to other chemicals called hormones. Unless you teach them this beyondness, every successive generation would be heavier, bulkier, more numerous and more ignorant than the preceeding one.


Excerpts from a Shabda-Yoga Session. Edited for Clarity.

Watch Full Discourse: Teach this to today’s generation || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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How to recover from a break-up? || Acharya Prashant (2017)

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Question: I am a person, who is very sensitive and emotional and that’s why I easily gets hurt. It’s been two months, since I have a break-up with a guy and I am just not able to move on. It’s affecting me a lot. I didn’t want this to happen even though, I never expected this from him. It has broken me completely from the inside.

I have lost myself, I have lost my mental peace and I feel so lonely and incomplete without him. And it is even more painful, when I see that guy look some other girl. I still want him in my life although, now I know that it is not possible because he has completely moved on. What should I now do, because it’s harming me and my career and my future?

Acharya Prashant: You are saying it has broken you completely from the inside.

No, you are lying.

Had you been completely broken from inside, then there would have been nobody left inside to experience the hurt.

What you call the inside, is just the ego inside. And the ego is the very magical thing. It becomes stronger, when gets hurt. It is not as if it loses its power, when it gets hurt.

The more you hurt it, the more strength it gathers. So, first of all, please understand that you have a lot inside. A lot that has become only more cemented, more solidify after this episode.  Had you been really empty from inside, who would have received the hurt. The arrow hits you, only when you block the arrow. Right?

Otherwise, it goes past you.

What is it within you that is blocking the happening?

You are hurt because you do not like happening. Your resistance is hurting you. An arrow comes to you, you obstruct it with your hand. It is the obstruction that you offer that will pierce your hand. Right?

You do not offer any obstruction to the arrow, the arrow just passes through by. Why are you obstructing the happening?

The fellow has moved on, and the population of the world is 800 crore, he is with another girl, now why are you begging after him? What will you get from him?

Crumps of love?

You want love as donation, charity?

And even if that is given to you, would that satisfy you?

And if you are so dear to you, why was not there much compatibility? Why did break-up happen?

And if you are you, and he is what he is, then won’t the break-up happen again?

You insist on remaining who you are, that is why you are hurt.

You insist on remaining, who you are that is why you want that guy back?

But if you insist to remain, who you are, you won’t be able to retain the guy. Are you prepared to really change? Are you prepared to not to be the one who experience that attraction?

No, that we do not want to do because probably, you have some sweet and happy memories.

So, at least you do not want to be the one who is experiencing all the suffering. All the hard ones. Right? And that is why I have asked this question. You don’t want to be continuously any more in misery. And if you don’t want to be any more in misery, stop being who you are. You have seen the consequence of who you are and still you don’t want to wake-up.

Do you know who you are?

You are the one, who will accept this guy if he comes back to your life.

Do you know, who you are?

You will again have a quarrel with this guy.

Do you know who you are?

You are the one, who will again have a break-up and again who will shed tears, when the guy goes away. You want to remain caught in this cycle.

Please, do not remain caught in this cycle. Guys come and go. There is nobody more important than your own peace.

You do not want a person, so that he may cause you disturbance. When you want a person, you actually want peace and contentment through that person. Don’t you? Or do you invite a person to your life so that he may harass you? Why do you open your doors to somebody?

Because that person promises to be the vehicle of contentment, peace. Right?

You very well know, what you open your doors to. Are you opening your doors to contentment?

Contentment has more value than any relationship. Relationships are a medium, contentment is the end. Relationships are mere mediums. There are like roads, they must lead to contentment. They must contain contentment. If there is no contentment in the relationship, why do you want that relationship?

The quality of your love depends on the quality of your lives. Your love affair cannot be a sublime thing, if your life is mired in littleness. We all want our love affairs to be fairy tales and we don’t look at our lives. We are little bit afraid, desires, ambitious, suspicious. That’s how we live. Now, how can you have a fairy-tale affair?

Who is this lover that you will attract to?

What is the quality of your being?

Who will be attracted to this being?

Please, you look at these pictures (referring to the portraits of Saints hanged on the wall), who would be the woman, these men would attract to them? What would be the quality of relationship? If they were marrying, would they be compatible with any woman on the road?

Think of a Ashtavakra, Nanak, Kabir, a Buddha, a Mahaveer. Some of them were married. Imagine that others were also married. Now think of their spouses. Think of their wives. What kind of a man, a Lalleshwari would have as a husband, she indeed did had a husband could she go around with him?

At the age of 22, she splits.

If you live like a petty one, you will only invite a petty being to your lives. And then there would be more sufferings, more sufferings. What is the point in remaining caught in this cycle?

Elevate yourself.

Transform yourself.

And then see who comes to you, then you will know what love really is.


Watch the session: How to recover from a break-up? || Acharya Prashant (2017)

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How to identify the right company for oneself? || Acharya Prashant (2013)

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right company

Question: How do we know, with whom to stay and whom not to stay?

Acharya Prashant: Whosoever makes you feel free, must be there in your life. Whosoever brings freedom, must surely be in your life and whosoever creates bondages upon you, bondages of any kind either implicit or explicit, must not be welcomed at all.

Even to see whether what you are doing is in awareness or lack of awareness, you require freedom. Bondage cannot be a route to freedom, and remember this cannot be said to an 8 year old. An 8 year old sometimes requires to be told, to be lead but none of you is 8 years old. At your age, bondages have no place in life, at your age, the biggest disservice that can be done to you is to impose a particular code upon you. The only way you can be helped today is by setting you free, and whosoever does not set you free is not your friend but your enemy.

That enemy might be a hidden enemy, it may contain a name of a beautiful relationship, it may even appear to be sacred but it is an enemy nevertheless. Remember, no body accepts the bondage if he/she knows that it is a bondage. Nobody would accept to be chained if he knows that these are chains.

Why do we accept to be chained?

It is because chains come in lovely names.

Can a person sitting far from you create chains? Only the person very close to you can be your enemy. The person who is far away from you cannot put you in bondage. If I tell you I am going to enslave you, you will resist and run away with all you power. But you will not resist if I say that I love you and I am coming to you for emotional and sentimental reasons. Then all of you would willingly become slave, and that is the most deceptive and dangerous slavery; because you are willingly accepting, the slave will not even know that I am a slave. He will not realize that he is a slave and continue with the bondage.

Somerset Maugham has written a beautiful novel ‘Of Human Bondage’, it is a thick volume and the entire piece is the story of how a man lives in all kinds of chains all his life without realizing it. Sometimes in the name of duty, sometimes in the name of love, obligations, responsibilities, religion, sometimes in the name of social convention and we never realize it.

We must realize the moment we talk of bondage, the first name is of parents. Now I never said that parents are putting you in bondage, and I assure you there are parents who are wise enough to not to put their kids in bondage and only they are real parents, only they are real friends of their children. Other people do not realize that they are enemies of their children. It is not that there intention is not right, but they don’t realize, they don’t have the awareness.

They are acting like the enemies of their own kids, their intentions don’t matter, and it is the intelligence what matters. Somebody has said that ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions’. Intentions do not matter, what matters is that you realize, whether you are aware; and parents are not aware because parents are first and foremost conditioned persons, human beings, as deeply conditioned as anybody else.

See, today you see yourself as ignorant, and you realize that we are not aware. Now given the age group you are in, you too can become parents. One year from today, if you decide, you can have a baby in your hand. Now will that change anything?

You are ignorant today and when the baby comes will you suddenly become wise just because you have produced a child?

Every animal on the roadside is producing a child, does that makes the animal wise?

Nature brings you to a particular age and in that age every specie reproduces, including human beings. Now what is so great about parents, but then you are conditioned to believe that if somebody is a father or mother, he would be divinely great, that he would be suddenly wise. There are teenage pregnancies where 16 year old becomes mother, does this makes her wise?

They are absolutely stupid, but the kid will grow up saying, ‘This is my mother and mother is incarnation of God.’ And that will just be conditioning.

You are an adult, parents are adults, and the only healthy relationship between an adult and another adult is that of friendship.

There is a Chinese proverb which says that, ‘When the father and the son start wearing shoes of the same size, then they are no more father and son. Then they must be friends.’

Now, the mother is an adult, the daughter is an adult, where is the question of mother and daughter?

These should be two ladies talking like friends, not dependent upon each other. Relating to each other in a loving and healthy way. But we do not have love in our relationships, we have bondages and where there is bondage can there be any love?

A chain is that which prevents your fundamental nature from expressing itself.

What is our fundamental nature?

It is to be joyous, it is to be free. Do you see any blade of grass, any animal, or a human child that likes bondage? This is the nature of the entire existence is. In the entire existence, freedom prevails except in human mind.  The human baby is born free and then you teach the baby to remain in bondage which is alright, because the baby has to be a dependant till a particular age.

But the problem is most people get stuck at the mental age of 10 and 12 year old. Till 10 or 12 you remain little dependant, it is inevitable, it is obvious as the child does not know. Those who advocate bondages are mentally stuck at the age of 10 or 12.

After the onset of puberty, a different process must begin and that is the process of freedom. If the parents are really loving towards their kids they would initiate the process of freedom. Most parents do not do that, because they are not aware enough to do that. They treat their 18 year old just as an 8 year old. They think that my daughter is still 8 years old. They do not see the obvious that she is no more a girl, she is a woman and she needs to be treated like a woman.

Even the law says she is an adult, even the law allows her to elect the leader. The entire world and nature knows that you are an adult and you must be free, but parents will not see that. You have a driving licence, you are allowed to drink and marry, allowed to vote, to go abroad. In every matter of life you are now grown up and need to stand on your own feet, but parents do not realize this. Parents will not see that and the worst part is that we become so habituated to conditioning, that we start getting attached to our chains.

A prisoner who thinks that handcuffs are beautiful bangles can never be set free, who thinks the four walls of jail are walls of a beautiful palace will never go out of the jail and that is the deepest crime that can be done towards anybody.

There is only one way of looking at any relationship: Does it set me free?

When I am with that person do I get closer to myself or does he take me away?

These are the basics, whosoever is your friend will always bring you closer to yourself, your real nature of truth, of freedom and love.

Whosoever is possessive about you obviously does not love you, he does not brings you to yourself rather takes you away. Whosoever is attached to you, dependent on you or makes you dependent on himself, obviously he does not love you; because love is none of this and that person is not worth being with.

You can help that person, but that is another thing.

You cannot help a patient by becoming sick.

Our love is like ‘Gandhaari’ (a character from the Mahabharta Epic), if my husband is blind I will also chose to be blind but this is not the way.


Excerpts from a Shabda-Yoga Session. Edited for Clarity.

Watch Full Discourse: How to identify the right company for oneself? || Acharya Prashant (2013)

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Acharya Prashant: Real communication can happen only from the Heart

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Questioner: I want to increase my communication with my mom and dad or with my friends; because this is what which is trembling me: They want something from me, and they think I think only of myself, but I am not able to do either of them. What to do?

Acharya Prashant: When an insecure mind talks to another insecure mind, anyway there is no communication. There is only an apparent exchange of words.

Only the heart can talk, only the heart can listen, so conversations are either genuine or they are not. Fake communication is no communication. So, when you say that ‘I am afraid of consequences, how do I act because my parents might feel bad, how do I take them into the loop?’

Please understand, the situation is already very bad and whatever else happens will be better than this. The key to improvement is to realize that you are already at the rock bottom. Things cannot go any worse, we keep waiting for more damage, we say this much damage is acceptable.

You know, that is the nature of mind, everything in the mind is limited, so even your perception of the damage being done to you is limited. You can never know the full extent of your loss. In the domain of mind everything has boundary, so when it rises to figure out how much it is losing, even that has boundary, so it says I am not losing anything beyond that. No! You are losing a lot! And when you see that then these inhibitions and concerns become very petty then you say how can I stop because of these hindrances.

Listener: You mean I must do whatever I want to do?

AP: You will not do that if I advice you to do that. You will do that only when, you see that you are causing a lot grief to your parents by not being authentic, only the action of true love will give you the courage to really go, and tell someone that things are bad. You must have great love for that someone, otherwise it is very easy to just offer consolations. It is very easy to just maintain the status-quo. Don’t we all do that?

Listener: That’s what we have been doing for years.

AP: And it requires great love. It requires tremendous courage to put your relationship at risk. Only when you love somebody greatly, only then you will want to put the relationship at risk. If you don’t love somebody, then you will want to maintain the relationship. That’s a paradox. You must understand this: The one that you love greatly, for the one that you love greatly, be prepared to break your relationship with that one; and if you are not prepared give up even on what you get from the relationship, the relationship itself. Then you don’t have love, and if you don’t have love the why do you want to do something?

Listener: Sometimes, it happens that to maintain the relationship hatred increases…

AP: Of course, you are maintaining a disfigured system, everyday will be a burden. Your entire face, your mind, whole personality will get so distorted, you will not be beautiful anymore.

Listener: You mean I must be truly loving to my dad and mom?

AP: You must first discover that the condition you are in is not love. Even though it is called as love, you cannot force yourself to love. Start with your immediate reality, which is not love, do not have fanciful projections about what is love. Start with this.

What did the lyrics say? What did they say?

‘A little close’.

Here, (pointing towards the heart) start from near.

What do you about love?

You only know of distances.


Excerpts from a Shabda-Yoga Session. Edited for Clarity.

Watch Full Discourse: Acharya Prashant: Real communication can happen only from the Heart

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Acharya Prashant: How to choose the right partner for marriage?

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Acharya Prashant: Companionship is wonderful. Be with one person, ten persons, anybody who helps your mind be centred. Being with such a person or a group of persons is wonderful. If marriage is another name for beautiful companionship, marriage is wonderful.

But, what matters is not the social institution of marriage, but the fact that you are with someone. And when you are with someone, the presence of that someone will necessarily have an effect upon you and vice-versa. You must know the effect that the other’s presence has upon you. If someone’s presence has a becalming effect on your mind, soothing effect on your mind, illuminating effect on your mind, liberating effect on your mind, go ahead. Boldly be with that person or persons as much as you want to.

But be with them only as long as their effect upon you is liberating. And be with them only as long as you do not become dependent on them, neither do they become dependent on you. It has to be a mutually healthy relationship. Not a relationship in which you enter because of sexuality or loneliness or social pressure.

You already have enough troubles, right?

You don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom, do you?

But yes, if someone can bring joy and truth to you, invite them right into your heart. And then marriage is inconsequential. With the right person, you marry, wonderful, you don’t marry, wonderful. And with the wrong person, you marry, bad luck, you don’t marry, bad luck.

What do you think?

Only married people have troubles?

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Acharya Prashant: How to really listen to the Guru?

Question: In one video, you said that to listen to Krishna, you need to be Arjuna. To Listen to Ashtavakra also you need to be Janak.

To listen to you, what should the person be?

Acharya Prashant: The person should not be insistent on being the ‘person.’ That begins with not seeing the speaker as a person and not imagining the listener to be the person. If here a person is speaking sitting on this chair, then surely there is another person sitting on another chair who is listening. Now, listening cannot really happen. Because persons cannot really relate to each other.

A person is a limitation.

Limitations can associate with each other. But limitations cannot relate to become limitless.

You take one limitation and you associate it with another one, you do not get limitlessness. What you get is another limitation.

One person listening to another person will not listen to the Truth. He will come to some opinion, some conclusion, something of the mind or attitude. But he won’t come upon Truth or silence.

To listen to me you need to forget all about yourselves. And you need to forget that what you are listening to is a person’s personal viewpoints.

If you will insist on saying that what is coming to you is somebody’s personal opinion, then no person ever has the obligation to be non-resistant to another person’s opinions. Opinions by definition are meant to be analyzed, judged, dissected, then partially accepted or rejected.

You will have to see that that which speaks from this chair is the same that listens from that chair, or listening simply doesn’t happen.

Till the time there is A speaking to B, listening cannot happen.

Only Truth listens to the Truth.

Only that within you can listen to me which speaks from within me. And they are one. Which means that there has to be a certain unity between the ‘listener’ and the ‘speaker.’ I said,

to listen to Krishna you need to be Arjuna. But it’s not really Arjuna who listens to Krishna. It’s Krishna within Arjuna that listens to Krishna. No Arjuna can ever know Krishna. Even to look at Krishna, Arjuna requires eyes that are bestowed upon him by Krishna.

You’ll have to give your listening a total chance, a total freedom. And that is a very impersonal freedom. You’ll have to simply drop giving importance to all that is personal about the speaker.

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Acharya Prashant on Upanishads: The limited, the limitless, and the dance

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Acharya Prashant: Hema, is saying, “Good, bad, evil, are all reflections of our inner-selves. How do we understand the limitless, with our limited mind?”

As long as you keep calling yourselves limited. You will continue to have a fascination towards comprehending the limitless.

You must ask, “Why does the infinite, the immense, appeal to you so much?” It appeals to you only because you have fundamentally defined yourself as limited.

What is bondage? Except the word ‘bondage’. The moment you say that there is a word called ‘bondage’, you have brought something fictitious to Life. The moment you call something as a bondage; you have called yourself a limited entity, vulnerable to bondage. Is the limitless susceptible to bondage? Just by talking of a few things, or even by seeking solutions to a few problems, you needlessly substantiate those things and problems.

You are saying, “How does one understand the limitless, with the limited mind?”

It’s exactly the other way round, Hema. You are asking, “How does one understand the limitless, with the limited mind?”

You know how it works?

You understand the limited because you are limitless.

Obviously the limited cannot comprehend the limitless.

But the limitations can be comprehended.

By whom?

By the limited one? Obviously not!

The limitations can be comprehended, because ‘you are unlimited’.

The unlimited one is not to be comprehended. The unlimited one is the one shining behind all comprehension!

How are you able ‘to know anything’? All things are limited. But if the knowing of the thing is also limited, would you ever ‘know’ really?

The ‘thing’ is limited. The ‘knowing’ of the thing, the ‘understanding’, is never limited.

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Acharya Prashant: Is plunging into sex a method to gain freedom from sex?

Question: Acharya Ji, you have said in a previous session while discussing the attraction towards sex, that one does not need to get entangled even to overcome or suppress. One rather needs to leave sex behind. One should seek that for which one is really eager. All the energy should go in that direction.

One is not rejecting sex, one is just prioritizing correctly. One is saying that the one that has a lower priority must wait because there is something immensely more important that is higher up the priority. That which is higher up the priority is so immense that it would never get completed, never get over. So the one who is waiting for his turn, the one who is lower down the order would just keep waiting.

He would not need to be killed, he would have just been permanently postponed. And she says that, in the same session, Acharya Ji has said “In the subconscious, there is a lot that terrifies you and you try to escape that fear by not trying to know more about it. When you first enter, you will find ‘that’ will scare you but if you stay with it courageously you will meet the one that delivers you from that fear.

If a person doesn’t meet ‘that’, which scares him and how you meet the one that liberates from the fear. Therefore, on your way meet all your imperfections and impurities and it is only after that you will meet the one that purifies, perfects and completes you.

So having quoted these two excerpts from a previous session, the question is, In the context of the pull of Maya and the worldly, here relating to the pull of the sexual energy, does one acknowledge it  and transcend it by focusing on the ‘Ananth’ or God ? or does one drop the defences against Maya, go through the worldly and only then arrive at the door of the Ananth.

Thank you.

Acharya Prashant: So, two excerpts have been quoted and apparently the two excerpts are in contradiction. The first one says that you do not need to get entangled, and the second one says that you need to meet all your fears, all your impurities, all your imperfections head-on.

So the questioner is a little confused and she is asking what to do? Does one seek to cleanse herself or does one need to plunge into her own conditioning? I will repeat the question for you. In the context of the pull of Maya and the worldly, here relating to the pull of the sexual energy, does one acknowledge it and transcend it by focusing on God ? or does one drop the defenses against Maya, go through the worldly and only then arrive at the door of the Ananth?

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Acharya Prashant on Veganism: Vedas and Milk

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Question: Acharya Ji, there are people who quote the Vedas and say “A Hindu is a good Hindu only if he drinks milk from the mother cow.” What is your take on that?

Acharya Prashant: See if you have named the Vedas, what is the central teaching of all the Vedic literature?

If you want to really know what the Vedic teaching is, you will have to go to the Upanishads. The Upanishads are called the “Vedanta”, which means the summit or the climax of Veda. And they go into the reality of man. What is the reality of man? The Upanishads are very forthright and unequivocal about it. They say, “Man is the Truth itself (Aham Brahmasmi).” Nothing else except the Truth. You are the ultimate finality. You are the total.

Now, if this is the position that the Vedic literature takes, then one cannot operate from a point of incompleteness, hollowness or desirousness. A lot of what we do, please see we do just in order to gain fulfillment. We say that the purpose of human Life is progress, don’t we? And we asses a human being according to how much he has been able to progress and contribute to progress.

And what is progress for us?
Knowing more; collecting more.

I’m not trying to unnecessarily be simplistic. Please go into it.

When you know more, when you collect more, is it something that happens only on the outside or does it also affects your self-worth? When you know more, your self-worth rises; when you collect more, again your self-worth rises. The Upanishads say, that your self-worth, that which you are, is any way infinite, you are anyway total. Now, go out and play. You are anyway perfect and complete. Now, do whatever you want to do. But do it from a point of perfection. Do it from a point of completion.

Do not do in order to gain something. Do not do in order to rise.

Act as if you are already there as if you are already complete.

That is what Vedas are all about.

Now, around this center, a lot has been said. Just a whole lot.

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